They Might Be Giants: Rants

Pervious 11/13/2001 - Linnel? Immortal?
11/11/2001 - Large Eyes, Small Hands
11/11/2001 - Columbus and Their Electricity

Bishonen Linnell - November 18, 2001

Bishonen - Japanese term literally meaning "beautiful" (bi) + "boy" (shonen). Generally, the term applies to male anime characters who are young, very attractive and pretty, and even feminine to some degree (ex: long hair, slender build). Biseinen (beautiful men) is a more appropriate term to use in this case, but for the sake that most people know the term 'bishonen' better than 'biseinen', I shall use bishonen for now on.

For a long time I've had my suspicions that our very own Linnell could be categorized as the human equivalent of a bishonen. He fits the requirements: Attractive in a strange, gangly, thin sort of way. Slender build with feminine features. He did have long hair at one point, and it was very lovely and fit him very well, offsetting his feministic face and making him almost 'pretty'. I knew this all, I just didn't have any proof to go with my theory. While I usually don't let little things like not having any evidence whatsoever get me down, it did put a speed bump in my speculations.

But then I found a picture...

Cut to: Pisces' World, a cozy little place inside her head, at exact moment of this amazing discovery.

Pisces: ::gapping with mouth open:: My gods... ::jumps Linnell::

Linnell: ACK! ::crashes to floor:: Help!

Flans: ::looking slightly worried, sidling off to the side a bit:: Are you sure that's a good idea? It looks a little dangerous...

Linnell: ::struggling against clingy fan girl:: Of course it dangerous! I'm being leeched at here! ::winces at Pisces' high pitched squeal, then goes under again::

Flans: I think I'll just leave you two to your business... ::scampers off::

Linnell: Flansburgh, you traitor! ::chokes at Pisces bear hugs his neck::

Cut to: Real World, where Pisces will never get to glomp Linnell, ever.

In other words, I stared at the screen blankly for a few minutes as this scene played itself out in my head and basked in the bishonen-ness of Linnell.

Now, bear with me people...

Exhibit A: John Linnell, a case to be considered.

Exhibit B: Heero Yui, a well established, fully proven bishonen

Notice the matching intense stare, which can be common among the bishonen population.

Exhibit C: Rufus Shinra, from Final Fantasy VII fandom.

Note, bishonen stance. Lowered shoulder, cocked hip. Reminiscent of a stance many females like to do. Now, study these three pictures...

What do they have in common? The stance! Please direct your attention to the middle picture. What's there? A woman! Tifa Lockheart! As you can see, these two men are pulling off a woman's stance. Another sure sign of bishonen-ism.

Accept the evidence, man. Bow down to my obsessive whims! Besides, Linnell's Mr. 'Ninth Most Beautiful Person'. How many other bishonen can claim that? Hum? Hah, that's what I thought.

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