Will and Grace

(Thanks IMDB.com.... you're my hero!!!)

Jack: Welcome to Cynical Island, population: you.

Will: Grace, do you want to sleep with me?
Grace: I'm sorry, I don't sleep with gay men. Will: Oh, see, that's the problem. I do.

Karen: Anyone homo?
Jack: I am! I am!

Karen: [on hiring Jack to play a straight man in a commercial] No one in the world would believe you're straight. �You're as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night�. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down�.. And you landed on a gay guy... and you did him�. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space!

[To Will]
Jack: You're the quarterback and I'm just the slutty cheerleader with the nice rack.

Jack: You sure you don't want to go to Joe and Larry's kid's party? You'll tower over people.
Will: I do like to feel tall.

Karen: Well don't let it get to your head, your hair is already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn't give it coffee!

Jack: My ride is here. It looks like a huff. I think I'll leave in it.

Grace: [running by] Hi Jack. Bye Jack.
Jack: Dad, was that you?

Karen: Well honey, look on the bright side.
Grace: What bright side?
Karen: Jeez Honey it's just an expression.

[Playing poker]
Will: Don't you know that a Queen always beats a Straight?

Karen: I know! Let's take pictures of us eating all this food and then show it to some homeless person!
Jack: Karen! You are such a female Jesus!

Will: You know, this is just like the first Christmas...except that none of us are virgins and instead of a baby Jesus we have a plate of cheeses!

Will: Jack, I'm asking you to be my kid's godfather. Or rather, his fairy godfather.

Stranger at the Gay Parade: You see, your drag name is the name of the first pet you had and the name of the first street you lived on.
Karen: So mine would be uh... ShuShu Fontanna!
[they all laugh]
Karen: That's hysterical! Jackie what's yours?
Jack: [upset] Glen 125th.

Will: Thank you, Homo-wan Kenobi.

[Will, Jack, Grace, and Rosario are placing a bet at the hospital]
Will: No, we're not being gross. Besides, it's either this or 15 hours of reading Highlights magazine. I mean, really, how many times can you find a toaster in a tree?

Jack: So we need to get them back together, but how? Pretend to think, pretend to think.
Karen: Pretend to care, pretend to care.
Jack: Oh, I've got it! What we need is a plan. Some way to get them in the same room together.
Karen: Oh honey, that's genius, write that down. Oh, wait, not on that, that's for Will and Grace, that's an invitation to Joe and Larry's kid's birthday party.
Jack: Oh yeah, I got one of these too. Anyway, enough about that. We have to figure out a way to get them in the same room so they can work it out. But how? Ow, I just got a paper cut on this party invitation for Will and Grace.
Karen: Focus! We're trying to get them in the same room together. Forget about this party they're both invited to! Now, what do they both like?
Jack: Well, Will likes to be taller than everyone, and Grace likes to eat cake.
Karen: Where can we take them where there'll be small people eating cake?
[takes a sip of wine]
Karen: Oh, shoot, I just spilled on this invitation to a child's birthday party.
[pauses]
Karen: Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Jack: I don't know, are you thinking what it would be like to have Spiderman spray his web on you?
Karen: Okay that's just freaky!

[Will is walking Grace down the aisle]
Will: This may be the wrong time to tell you this, but I'm straight.
Grace: Don't make me laugh, I'm being photographed.

Will: What, is the whole city gay?
Jack: Not yet, but if all goes according to plan, come tomorrow morning ..muhahaha!

Jack: Mary Kate and Ashley, it's beautiful!

Karen: You know what else is sad? Poor people who have dreams.
[Pause]
Karen: Well that's not sad as much as it is extremely funny.

Grace: So, he didn't tell you and he didn't tell me. That means it's something he doesn't want us to know!
Jack: Yeah, good work Nancy Drew!

Karen: Honey, are you still doing the law thing?
Will: Honey, are you still doing the "I married for love" thing?
Karen: No.

Lorraine: You're a fancy dresser. Are you English?
Will: Oh no, I'm gay.
Lorraine: Well, its the same thing.
Will: If that weren't true, I'd find that offensive.

Nathan: I'm Nathan, Grace's new boyfriend.
Jack: That's strange. I'm not getting a gay vibe from you...

[Grace is in the newspaper for interior design]
Will: "Manhattan interior designer Grace Adler, 26--"
[looks at Grace]
Grace: It must've been a typo.
Will: Mmm.
Jack: More like a lie-o.

Jack: [jumpy] Why isn't there any coffee?
Karen: The same reason you don't have a wife and three kids honey.. It's the way god wants it.

Will: You don't need to lose to have fun. You're not France!

Barry: I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't know what to wear for our second homosexual date.
Will: Oh, traditionally, whatever's hanging on your homosexual chair in your homosexual bedroom.

Will: Maybe it's because I can go a sentence with out using Jazz Hands!

Jack: Who gets married on twenty-thou? My dress alone will cost fifteen!

[on top of a building just before Grace's wedding]
Grace: We have been up here before, remember?
Will: No, that building was across the street from that juice store.
Grace: Paradise Juice. See right where that parking lot is.
Will: They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

Friends

Will and Grace

Pirates of the Caribbean