| I Want to Shave the World The First Talent Shippo: ::trying to keep blood shed down to a minimum:: And without further ado... The rematch of "White Shinny Legs-San!:: ::the spectators burst into applause:: Shippo: With our first contestant..InuYasha! ::InuYasha struts down the cat, er, dog walk:: Shippo: InuYasha, our informants ::Kouga waves:: Shippo: told us you had a little trouble with your rugged razor last night. How did you retain your smooth legs? Kikyo: Bet he went the cheap way and used Nair. Miroku: Do not diss da Nair! InuYasha: As a matter of fact I used wax on my legs! Wax! Kikyo: Wow! Kagome: It takes a real man to use wax. Kaede: What was this about loosing my razor? InuYasha: ::fights with the evil memory of the wax:: I used wax, burning wax, burning stinging wax, Burning, stinging... Shippo: Uh, InuYasha? InuYasha: Burning, stinging, tearing, wax, burning, stinging.... Sango: Eh? Hello? Earth to InuYasha! Daijibuka? Miroku: I don�t think we should have brought up the wax. InuYasha: Burning, stinging, tearing, evil, heartless wax, burning, stinging, tearing, evil... Shippo: -_-;;; And on to our next contestant.. Sesshomaru! Rin: Yay Sesshomaru-sama! Ya-::coff coff:: eeeh -_- Girls: Rin! Poor baby, are you ok? Rin: ::sniff sniff coff:: I�m kinda sleepy ::whispers:: I went to bed past my bed time last night. Kikyo: Sesshomaru you monster! Kagome: The little girl needs a nap! Sango: Come on Rin, you can go lay down at Kaede�s house. Sesshomaru:Damn. InuYasha: Heh, aren't so happy without your little judge, are you. Kagome: He�s coherent! Sango: I guess the thought of wa- Miroku: ::clamps hand tightly over Sango�s mouth:: Don�t say it! Jaken: Have no fear Sesshomaru-sama! I will take Rin�s place! Vote for Sesshomaru-sama! Girls: Eww! Yucky Bumpy Froggy Thing! Miroku: Not quite the same, is it? InuYasha: Excellent Smithers. Sesshomaru:I don�t need her. Don�t forget my naturally white and shinny legs! They�re also rose scented. Kikyo : He speaks the truth. Sango: Yup, icky bumpy thing or no. Kagome: Such a hard decision. Kaede: Well, we still have the other parts of the contest. Kagome: Good point. Shippo: So we do! Time to move on to the talent portion. InuYasha: Ah yes! This is the part where I crush you brother! Sesshomaru:If it weren't so below me I would giggle. Kagome: InuYasha has a talent? Miroku: Oh indeed he does. ::he he he:: Sango: Should we be scared? Miroku: ::he he he:: Kagome: That�s it, I�m bringing out the ol� Kodak. ::InuYasha ducts behind the curtain and emerges again clad in...:: Sango: German overalls? Kagome: ::click click click:: More film! Need more film! Kikyo: But what is his talent? InuYasha: ::as if on cue cups his hands around his mouth and:: YODE LE *HI* WHO! Mountains: ::echos off:: yode le hi who...yode le hi who... Kikyo: O.O He can yodel. Sango: O.O And it echos. Kaede: Uh...I guess that means he�s a good yodel-er. Kagome: WHERE THE HELL DID I PUT MY TAPE RECORDER?!?!?! Miroku: ::he he he:: Kagome: ::having successfully found her tape recorder and placed it on "record" while InuYasha continued yodeling turns her attention to other things such as...:: Uh, is Kouga all right? Kouga: ::is laughing so hard he has ceased to breathe and is turning purple on the ground with tears of mirth streaming down his face:: Kikyo: He doesn't look all right. I bet he�ll smell funny if he dies too. Sango: Yuck. Miroku! Do something! Miroku: Eh? Sango: I don�t want a dead wolf stinking up the forest! Miroku: Fear not! I know just what to do. ::grabs Jaken:: Jaken: Ack! Miroku: ::tosses Jaken on Kouga. The shock of Jaken�s ugly face causes Kouga to resume breathing:: Kouga: Gah! Icky yucky bumpy thing! ::proceeds to bash the crap out of Jaken:: Girls: Yay Kouga! Kill the icky yucky bumpy thing! ::And we all know Sesshomaru is thinking this too:: InuYasha: *Ahem* Kaede: I guess InuYasha is done. Sango: Should we applaud or something? Kagome: Sure, I mean, it was good as far as yodeling is concerned, ne? Kikyo: Good point ::applause follows from everyone but Jaken who has managed to drag his mangledbody back to the judges booth:: InuYasha: ::bows:: Thank you, Thank you! Sesshomaru:Your puny talent will never outshine my amazing ability dear brother. Why don�t you just surrender and hand over ::pulls out list of demands:: Your sword, Kagome, Kikyo.... ::half an hour later:: Sesshomaru: your left eye, and the flame proof clothing. InuYasha: Why don�t you just ask me to kill myself while I�m at it? Sesshomaru::flips through list of demands:: That was number 568. InuYasha: Oh. Miroku: ::nudges Sango who had fallen asleep like the rest of the world:: They�re done. Sango: ::rubbing eyes:: eh? Kagome: ::yawns:: s�about time. ::shakes Kikyo:: Kikyo: NOT THE BUNNIES!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN, DON�T SEND IN THE PINK BUNNIES!!! ::rolls over and starts snoring:: InuYasha: Whoa! Shake her again! Sango: Bunnies? Kaede? Kaede: I know nothing. Kagome: So that�s where I got the phobia... Miroku: Eh? You�re scared of pink bunnies to? Kagome: Oh my God, did I just say that out loud? Shippo: Very interesting ^-^ Sesshomaru:Might I inquire as to what is more important than me? Jaken: The priestess, Kikyo, is afraid of pink bunnies Sesshomaru-sama. Sesshomaru:And *this* is more important than me-...What did you say? Jaken: ::slowly comes out of grovel mode to answer:: The sleeping priestess over there ::points:: is afraid of pink bunnies, Sesshomaru -sama. Sango: Eh? Look, his eyes are tearing up! Kaede: Trying not to laugh most likely. Kikyo: What's going on? ::sees Sesshomaru:: Uh, is he all right? Sesshomaru:begins shaking, desperatly attempting to control un-lord like mirth:: InuYasha: ::gets evil look in eyes:: Hey, Shippo come here! Shippo: ::obligingly bounces over to hear what InuYasha has to say:: Kikyo: ::looking from Sesshomaru to an amused looking bunch of girls and feeling very confused:: What? What happened? Sango: Oh, nothing and..Kikyo! What's that behind you? Kikyo: ::turns to look...right at a pink bunny (this particular pink bunny sports a fox tail but she doesn't notice this. Why? Because I am the author and I made it so! Bow before my awesome power!):: EEEK!!!! PINK BUNNY!!!!! ::climbs up tree:: Sesshomaru::tears run fast down his cheeks but this new scene was too much for him. He breaks down and begins rolling on the ground laughing. Legs in the air.:: HA HA HA HA HE HE HE HAHAHAHA ::gasp for air:: HAHAHAHAHAHA HE HE! Jaken: Sesshomaru-sama! Kagome: ::takes out Kodak:: Shippo: ::turns back into Shippo:: Kikyo: Why you little.. ::spots InuYasha looking awful smug for having killed two birds with one stone, er, bunny so to speak:: You! I�ll get you for this! ::Kikyo walks towards InuYasha but in her rage forgets she is in a tree. She plunges down towards the ground. Luckily her fall is broken unintentionally by a certain pure bred dog demon who had unfortunately caught his first last and only bout of hysterics under the same tree:: Sesshomaru:Ooof! Kagome: ::having given up with the camera now video tapes but finds it hard to keep the tape steady:: he he he. ::in fact, if one surveyed the scene, they would find the majority of the cast stricken into bouts of laughter:: InuYasha: ::has stolen Kagome�s Kodak and is snapping pictures of his brother, who while pinned under Kikyo, continues laughing:: Shippo: ::is back in pink bunny form and jumping around causing general havoc:: Kouga: ::attempts to meditate to avoid death:: Miroku: ::no one is quite sure how he manages to hold up Sango because he is laughing as much as she is:: Kaede: Sister! Are you all right? Kikyo: Yeah. It was a soft landing. (they don�t call him Fluffy for nothing) But- ::Shippo jumps by:: EEK! PINK BUNNY! Sesshomaru:Hehehehe. Kikyo: ::to Sesshomaru:: SHUT UP! ::everybody freezes:: ::silence:: ::more silence:: Sesshomaru::has, as you might have gathered, stopped laughing and is back to his lovable ol lord like self. He stands up, dumping Kikyo on the ground:: ::everybody is brought back to reality:: Shippo: ::back to Shippo �cause he was making Kagome nervous too and he wanted a copy of that video, clears his throat:: Ahem, on with the competition! Sesshomaru:Hai, you have yet to see my talent. ::walks up to the stage:: InuYasha: ::pocketing the camera, follows chanting:: I have pictures! I have pictures! Sesshomaru:Perhaps, but can you develop them? InuYasha: Damn. Sango: ::blushing:: Uh, Miroku, I can stand by myself now. Miroku: Awww Kaede: Quiet! Sesshomaru is about to show his talent! Back to The New Rules Onwards to The Conclusion |
||||
| Back to Fanfiction Home | ||||