I Want to Shave the World

The First Talent

Shippo: ::trying to keep blood shed down to a minimum:: And without further ado... The rematch of "White Shinny Legs-San!::

::the spectators burst into applause::

Shippo: With our first contestant..InuYasha!

::InuYasha struts down the cat, er, dog walk::

Shippo: InuYasha, our informants

::Kouga waves::

Shippo: told us you had a little trouble with your rugged razor last night. How did you retain your smooth legs?

Kikyo: Bet he went the cheap way and used Nair.

Miroku: Do not diss da Nair!

InuYasha: As a matter of fact I used wax on my legs! Wax!

Kikyo: Wow!

Kagome: It takes a real man to use wax.

Kaede: What was this about loosing my razor?

InuYasha: ::fights with the evil memory of the wax:: I used wax, burning wax, burning stinging wax, Burning, stinging...

Shippo: Uh, InuYasha?

InuYasha: Burning, stinging, tearing, wax, burning, stinging....

Sango: Eh? Hello? Earth to InuYasha! Daijibuka?

Miroku: I don�t think we should have brought up the wax.

InuYasha: Burning, stinging, tearing, evil, heartless wax, burning, stinging, tearing, evil...

Shippo: -_-;;; And on to our next contestant.. Sesshomaru!

Rin: Yay Sesshomaru-sama! Ya-::coff coff:: eeeh -_-

Girls: Rin! Poor baby, are you ok?

Rin: ::sniff sniff coff:: I�m kinda sleepy ::whispers:: I went to bed past my bed time last night.

Kikyo: Sesshomaru you monster!

Kagome: The little girl needs a nap!

Sango: Come on Rin, you can go lay down at Kaede�s house.

Sesshomaru:Damn.

InuYasha: Heh, aren't so happy without your little judge, are you.

Kagome: He�s coherent!

Sango: I guess the thought of wa-

Miroku: ::clamps hand tightly over Sango�s mouth:: Don�t say it!

Jaken: Have no fear Sesshomaru-sama! I will take Rin�s place! Vote for Sesshomaru-sama!

Girls: Eww! Yucky Bumpy Froggy Thing!

Miroku: Not quite the same, is it?

InuYasha: Excellent Smithers.

Sesshomaru:I don�t need her. Don�t forget my naturally white and shinny legs! They�re also rose scented.

Kikyo : He speaks the truth.

Sango: Yup, icky bumpy thing or no.

Kagome: Such a hard decision.

Kaede: Well, we still have the other parts of the contest.

Kagome: Good point.

Shippo: So we do! Time to move on to the talent portion.

InuYasha: Ah yes! This is the part where I crush you brother!

Sesshomaru:If it weren't so below me I would giggle.

Kagome: InuYasha has a talent?

Miroku: Oh indeed he does. ::he he he::

Sango: Should we be scared?

Miroku: ::he he he::

Kagome: That�s it, I�m bringing out the ol� Kodak.

::InuYasha ducts behind the curtain and emerges again clad in...::

Sango: German overalls?

Kagome: ::click click click:: More film! Need more film!

Kikyo: But what is his talent?

InuYasha: ::as if on cue cups his hands around his mouth and:: YODE LE *HI* WHO!

Mountains: ::echos off:: yode le hi who...yode le hi who...

Kikyo: O.O He can yodel.

Sango: O.O And it echos.

Kaede: Uh...I guess that means he�s a good yodel-er.

Kagome: WHERE THE HELL DID I PUT MY TAPE RECORDER?!?!?!

Miroku: ::he he he::

Kagome: ::having successfully found her tape recorder and placed it on "record" while InuYasha continued yodeling turns her attention to other things such as...:: Uh, is Kouga all right?

Kouga: ::is laughing so hard he has ceased to breathe and is turning purple on the ground with tears of mirth streaming down his face::

Kikyo: He doesn't look all right. I bet he�ll smell funny if he dies too.

Sango: Yuck. Miroku! Do something!

Miroku: Eh?

Sango: I don�t want a dead wolf stinking up the forest!

Miroku: Fear not! I know just what to do. ::grabs Jaken::

Jaken: Ack!

Miroku: ::tosses Jaken on Kouga. The shock of Jaken�s ugly face causes Kouga to resume breathing::

Kouga: Gah! Icky yucky bumpy thing! ::proceeds to bash the crap out of Jaken::

Girls: Yay Kouga! Kill the icky yucky bumpy thing! ::And we all know Sesshomaru is thinking this too::

InuYasha: *Ahem*

Kaede: I guess InuYasha is done.

Sango: Should we applaud or something?

Kagome: Sure, I mean, it was good as far as yodeling is concerned, ne?

Kikyo: Good point

::applause follows from everyone but Jaken who has managed to drag his mangledbody back to the judges booth::

InuYasha: ::bows:: Thank you, Thank you!

Sesshomaru:Your puny talent will never outshine my amazing ability dear brother.  Why don�t you just surrender and hand over ::pulls out list of demands:: Your sword, Kagome, Kikyo....

::half an hour later::

Sesshomaru: your left eye, and the flame proof clothing.

InuYasha: Why don�t you just ask me to kill myself while I�m at it?

Sesshomaru::flips through list of demands:: That was number 568.

InuYasha: Oh.

Miroku: ::nudges Sango who had fallen asleep like the rest of the world::  They�re done.

Sango: ::rubbing eyes:: eh?

Kagome: ::yawns:: s�about time. ::shakes Kikyo::

Kikyo: NOT THE BUNNIES!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN, DON�T SEND IN THE PINK BUNNIES!!! ::rolls over and starts snoring::

InuYasha: Whoa! Shake her again!

Sango: Bunnies? Kaede?

Kaede: I know nothing.

Kagome: So that�s where I got the phobia...

Miroku: Eh? You�re scared of pink bunnies to?

Kagome: Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?

Shippo: Very interesting ^-^

Sesshomaru:Might I inquire as to what is more important than me?

Jaken: The priestess, Kikyo, is afraid of pink bunnies Sesshomaru-sama.

Sesshomaru:And *this* is more important than me-...What did you say?

Jaken: ::slowly comes out of grovel mode to answer:: The sleeping priestess over there ::points:: is afraid of pink bunnies, Sesshomaru -sama.

Sango: Eh? Look, his eyes are tearing up!

Kaede: Trying not to laugh most likely.

Kikyo: What's going on? ::sees Sesshomaru:: Uh, is he all right?

Sesshomaru:begins shaking, desperatly attempting to control un-lord like mirth::

InuYasha: ::gets evil look in eyes:: Hey, Shippo come here!

Shippo: ::obligingly bounces over to hear what InuYasha has to say::

Kikyo: ::looking from Sesshomaru to an amused looking bunch of girls and feeling very confused:: What? What happened?

Sango: Oh, nothing and..Kikyo! What's that behind you?

Kikyo: ::turns to look...right at a pink bunny (this particular pink bunny sports a fox tail but she doesn't notice this. Why? Because I am the author and I made it so! Bow before my awesome power!):: EEEK!!!! PINK BUNNY!!!!!

::climbs up tree::

Sesshomaru::tears run fast down his cheeks but this new scene was too much for him. He breaks down and begins rolling on the ground laughing. Legs in the air.:: HA HA HA HA HE HE HE HAHAHAHA ::gasp for air:: HAHAHAHAHAHA HE HE!

Jaken: Sesshomaru-sama!

Kagome: ::takes out Kodak::

Shippo: ::turns back into Shippo::

Kikyo: Why you little.. ::spots InuYasha looking awful smug for having killed two birds with one stone, er, bunny so to speak:: You! I�ll get you for this!

::Kikyo walks towards InuYasha but in her rage forgets she is in a tree. She plunges down towards the ground. Luckily her fall is broken unintentionally by a certain pure bred dog demon who had unfortunately caught his first last and only bout of hysterics under the same tree::

Sesshomaru:Ooof!

Kagome: ::having given up with the camera now video tapes but finds it hard to keep the tape steady:: he he he.

::in fact, if one surveyed the scene, they would find the majority of the cast stricken into bouts of laughter::

InuYasha: ::has stolen Kagome�s Kodak and is snapping pictures of his brother, who while pinned under Kikyo, continues laughing::

Shippo: ::is back in pink bunny form and jumping around causing general havoc::

Kouga: ::attempts to meditate to avoid death::

Miroku: ::no one is quite sure how he manages to hold up Sango because he is laughing as much as she is::

Kaede: Sister! Are you all right?

Kikyo: Yeah. It was a soft landing. (they don�t call him Fluffy for nothing) But- ::Shippo jumps by:: EEK! PINK BUNNY!

Sesshomaru:Hehehehe.

Kikyo: ::to Sesshomaru:: SHUT UP!

::everybody freezes::

::silence::

::more silence::

Sesshomaru::has, as you might have gathered, stopped laughing and is back to his lovable ol lord like self. He stands up, dumping Kikyo on the ground::

::everybody is brought back to reality::

Shippo: ::back to Shippo �cause he was making Kagome nervous too and he wanted a copy of that video, clears his throat:: Ahem, on with the competition!

Sesshomaru:Hai, you have yet to see my talent. ::walks up to the stage::

InuYasha: ::pocketing the camera, follows chanting:: I have pictures! I have pictures!

Sesshomaru:Perhaps, but can you develop them?

InuYasha: Damn.

Sango: ::blushing:: Uh, Miroku, I can stand by myself now.

Miroku: Awww

Kaede: Quiet! Sesshomaru is about to show his talent!

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