The Results
Shippo: Er, soon we will have our "White Shinny Legs-San"
Kagome: Alas, Kouga, if only you did not have such smelly legs!
Kouga: Kuso!
Miroku: Thats what you get for stealing my extra Nair.
Kikyo: ::eyeing Sesshomaru:: Kaede, how much of a difference is there between half brothers?
Kagome: Oh! Never thought about that!
Sessomaru::strikes a feminine pose::
Kagome: Then again, I always have liked the "rugged" look for guys.
Sango: Hmm, Nair and lotion vs *natural* Nair and lotion.
Miroku: The strenuous regime proves I care more about my legs!
Rin: Yay Sesshomaru-sama!
Kanna: ::still waving little flag::
Miroku: Well, that cuts out two judges.
InuYasha: Why do only the evil guys have brain washed little girls on their side?
Shippo: Enough chatter! Judges hand in your verdict!
::the girls, shocked out of their counsel, hurriedly scribble something down on their paper and drop it in the Texas Rangers baseball hat that so handily appeared for this purpose (Go Rusty!)::
Shippo: ::smoothing out the slips veeeeeery sloooooooowly:: Uh huh, yep, alright...
Naraku: ::pulls out cell phone:: I have the Thunder Brothers on speed dial.
Shippo: Nice try, they�re dead! ::still looks nervous::
Naraku: When has that been a problem?
Miroku: True, half the people here have been, to practical appearances, dead.
Shippo: I�m counting! I�m counting!
InuYasha: ::thinking:: this is it! the final battle between me and Sesshomaru! I will win!
Shippo: Okay, here are the scores, Kouga got no votes
InuYasha: Heh
Shippo: Naraku got one vote.
::everyone turns to look at Kanna who is still waving her flag::
Naraku: Kanna, suck out the kitsune�s soul.
Kanna: ::nods and attempts to capture Shippo�s image in the mirror::
Shippo: ::jumps up and around trying desperately to avoid the mirror:: Don�t kill the messenger!!!
Kouga: Go Kanna!
Shippo: You stay out of this!
Kanna: ::smiles grimly as she corners Shippo::
Shippo: ::in an act of desperation uses fox magic to turn himself into Bill Gates::
Kanna: ::looks shocked as the mirror flashes a large "error" signal:: Arrgh! Baka kitsune! It will take me weeks to straighten out the programing after this!
Shippo: ::sighs and (thankfully) drops the illusion.
Sango: What just happened?
Kagome: I guess the mirror got mad when it figured out Bill Gates had no soul to suck.
Naraku: (a la terminator) I�ll be back. ::disappears with Kanna::
Everyone else: Phew!
InuYasha: Come on Shippo, get on with the results!
Shippo: Just a second. ::runs over to the poster board of rules and adds "You shall not kill, maim, or otherwise injure the kawaii kitsune." turns to the remaining contestants:: Agreed?
::Shippo is greeted by murmurs of resignation and continues::
Shippo: Miroku got one vote.
Miroku: Eh? Really? ::scans judges praying it wasn't Kaede::
Sango: ::appears fascinated by the miracle that is the ground::
Shippo: And InuYa-...wait, no!
Everyone: What?!?! What is it!
Shippo: Well, er
Sesshomaru::murmurs:: thunder brothers.
.
Shippo: ::clears his throat:: Um InuYashaandSesshomarubothgottwovotes ::he said quickly::
Everyone: NANI! ::more from shock than lack of understanding but Shippo obligingly repeated::
Shippo: InuYasha and Sesshomaru both got 2 votes!
::dead silence...a cricket chirps. And then the statement is met with it�s deserved howls of protest::
Sesshomaru::appears to be in shock:: I tied with a hanyou?
Rin: ::sniff sniff:: don�t be sad Sesshomaru-sama! ::more sniffles:: It makes me sad when you�re sad!
Girls: Poor thing! Shippo! You made her cry! ::start advancing maliciously::
Shippo: The rule! The rule!
InuYasha: Even with my razor I only tied! Feh, I am not finished! I will beat you brother!
Kouga: How could you dog turd manage to even tie! To spite you I will pool my votes with Sesshomaru�s and-
Miroku: ::interrupting Kouga:: Kouga, you got no votes.
Kouga: Damn. Then murder is the only option.
InuYasha: Feh, I can take you on with one hand behind my back.
Kouga: But can you take on me and your brother.
Sesshomaru::twitch:: Puny wolf boy! Do not presume to think I would team up with you!
::coffee break::
Sesshomaru:Matte! Go back! I was just about to kill him!
InuYasha: Yeah, what the hell is this? Who called this?!?! Reiko was eaten!
Kouga: I did. Now get your asses over here and help me with this. ::Kouga is sitting at a round table with lots of candles. It appears to be the setup of a seance::
Kagome: Oooh! Neat! ::joins him at table::
::the others soon follow::
Sango: Miroku, isn't it slightly blasphemous for you to be participating in this?
Miroku: Probably ::remains sitting::
::everyone sweat drops::
Kouga: Quiet. Oh people of the spirit world, bring me the spirit of Reiko.
::nothing happens::
Kagome: Bummer.
Sesshomaru:This is pointless, back on the set! ::cracks knuckles::
Miroku: Wait, when all else fails.. ::pulls out Ouija board from one of his sleeves::
Kouga: Perfect!
Sango: Now I know thats blasphemous.
Kouga: ::sets up board and everyone places their hand on it:: Oh great Ouija board, let Reiko speak through you.
Ouija Board: Okies
Kikyo: That�s her.
InuYasha: Errgh, can�t...control...little...window.(or what ever you call that thing you move around the Ouija Board)
Kagome: And I always thought these things were a rip off.
Kouga: Reiko, Why the hell do you hate me so much?!?!
Miroku: So thats what this is all about.
Ouija Board: Well I have to pick on someone now that Naraku�s gone.
Kouga: Why me? Why not some one else? Its getting old GOD DAMN IT!
Ouija Board: Well, InuYasha is the main character, Miroku is my buddy and the world loves Sesshomaru. Now get back on the set!
Kouga: No! I quit!
Ouija Board: You can�t. You signed a 4 fic contract...in blood.
Kouga: You said I would get Kagome!
Ouija Board: Read the fine print. Now get your sorry butt back on stage before I decide to *really* pick on you!
Miroku: ::puts Ouija Board back:: Well, guess that settles it.
Kouga: ::mutters things in wolfish that probably don�t mean "Meet me for ice cream on Friday ^-^"::
::back on stage::
Sesshomaru:Like I was saying. Do not presume to think I would team up with you. I ought to kill you. ::pulls out spiffy light whippy thingie::
InuYasha: Heh, if he fights without his kimono his legs will be bruised and I will win!
Sesshomaru::who has of course heard InuYasha�s last line:: Like I said, I ought to kill you but through the, er, um, goodness ::appears to have breathing difficulty when saying this word. The difficulty which increases as he continues:: of my hear- heart ::is gasping for breath and looking green:: I�ll kill you later.
Kaede: InuYasha, I believe you are supposed to merely *think* the evil plan.
InuYasha: Kuso.
Sesshomaru:And now, dear brother, it is time for our rematch. Though it seems hardly necessary for I will triumph.
Kagome: Rematch right now? It�s getting late.
Rin: ::yawn:: It�s past my beddie-bye time Sesshomaru-sama.
Shippo: ::appears on verge of nervous breakdown::dont...kill...messenger...
Kikyo: Whoa! Fresh shipment of souls! Gotta run!
Sesshomaru:Very well, brother. We will continue this farce tomorrow. Come Rin. ::leaves, Rin in tow::
InuYasha: Miroku, buddy, about that scented lotion...
Miroku: Steal your own from Kagome!
Kagome: I thought your legs smelled familiar! Thats exactly why I didnt vote for you and voted for- ::catches herself too late:: I mean, uh
::but already Sango, Kaede InuYasha, Miroku and Kouga (cause he has nothing better to do) have crowded around Kagome::
Miroku: So if you didnt vote for me, you either voted for InuYasha or Sesshomaru!
InuYasha: What! You didnt vote for Fluffy did you!
Miroku: Well someone had too.
InuYasha: Please say it was you, Kaede.
Kaede: Nope. I voted for you InuYasha. I just can�t resist the allure of the Venus razor.
InuYasha: Great. -_- ::he turns back to Kagome:: Spill it! Who did you vote for?
::while he had been talking Kagome had snuck off and was climbing down the well::
InuYasha: Eh?!?
Kagome: Bye InuYasha, see you tomorrow ^-^ ::she hops down the well::
InuYasha: Stupid Onna
Sango: ::who has slowly been inching away worried that she�ll be next for the 3rd degree chooses this time to make her exit:: Well, I�d best be going! Bye!
Miroku: Drat.
Kaede: I�m still here.
::InuYasha, Miroku and Kouga look at Kaede. Once again the famous cricket makes it�s self known::
InuYasha: ::turning away from Kaede:: So, Miroku, about that lotion...
Kouga: Don�t let him have it!
Kaede: Fine, fine, I�m leaving!
Boys: ::breathe sigh of relief::
InuYasha: ::turning to Kouga:: Now go away.
Kouga: Feh, nice try! I will stay to ensure the hoshi does not give in and give you his lotion.
Miroku: ^_^;; I was doing pretty well by myself.
Kouga: ::snorts in disbelief:: snort
Miroku: Are you insinuating something?
Kouga: ::clearly confused by the big word looks to InuYasha for help::
InuYasha: ::has stopped shaving and is also staring blankly at Miroku trying to comprehend the meaning of the word that is clearly over five letters long::
Kouga: ::decides since it seemed like a "yes/no" question he has a 50/50 chance and replies:: Uh, no.
Miroku: I think you were.
Kouga: ::still has no idea what he said "no" to but in principle he replies:: Are you calling me a liar? Rabid Wolf Claw! (I have no idea what attacks Kouga can do since, in the books I�ve seen, he yells these attacks in Chinese but just humor me okies?)
Miroku: ::not to be outdone:: Air Rip!
Kouga: ::manages to avoid Air Rip but something else is not so lucky::
InuYasha: MY RAZOR!!!!!
What will InuYasha do? Is this the end? Find out, uh, later with the next thrilling installment of "I Want to Shave the World"
Back to The Contest Onwards to The New Rules