The Contest
I don�t own InuYasha or the Venus razor (well, actually I do, but not the rights to it)
::The Next Fateful Day::
Kouga: InuYasha, I have come!
InuYasha: ::gasp of surprise:: how did you get your legs conditioned without the razor?
Kouga: ::grins and holds up bottle:: I had "Nair"!
Miroku: I was looking for that!
Kouga: Bwa ha ha! I have thwarted you! (for some reason I find myself subliminally making Kouga like Kuno)
Miroku: ::pulls out identical bottle:: good thing I have back up ^_^
Kouga: Drat.
Miroku: Here come the judges ^-^
Kagome: Hi InuYasha! Hi Kouga!
Sango: Hmm ::goes over to piece of poster board on nearby tree:: Whats this?
Kagome: ::Reads:: rules for judges
Sango: 1 vote for only one person
2 no throwing tomatoes
3 no attempting to drag contestants into the depths of Hell
Kikyo: I�m outta here.
InuYasha: NO! WAIT!
Kagome: InuYasha! How could you! I thought you loved me! Kouga!
InuYasha: Um, er, NO! She just needs to stay so there will be a majority ^-^ ::pulls out handy diagram:: If there are 3 contestants (Kouga, Miroku and Myself) and only 3 judges (Sango, Kagome and ::sigh:: Kaede) Then it is possible for the contestants to tie and no one will win. However, if Kikyo stays a tie is less likely.
Miroku: Wow. Did you figure all that out on your own?
Kagome: ::whispers:: actually he just read the cue card in the back, but the logic is sound.
Kikyo: About rule number three?
InuYasha: I�ll get rid of it! ::he crosses out the rule and goes ack to the runway making sure there is considerable distance between Kikyo and himself. With the rule gone he�s not taking chances::
Shippo: Alright then.. let the games begin!
::the guys rip off clothes to reveal speedos and their white shinny legs (I can get you in to judge this contest for the low low price of $999.99)::
Sesshomaru::riding in on the shoulder of a big demon (boy are we in a rut):: Wait!
InuYasha: What do you want?
Sesshomaru:Only to prove to you once again, dear brother, that you are inferior to me and that *I* Have the whitest and shiniest legs! I too will join the contest! Also, as so not to be a bother I have supplied my own judge.
Rin: Hi ^-^
Girls: Aww she�s so kawaii ^-^
InuYasha: No! You are not f**king up this too!
Sesshomaru:Rin, do your stuff.
Rin: ::sniff sniff:: but I was ever so excited about this ::sniff sniff:: and I really wanted to be a judge and..and::burst into full out sobbing::
Girls: Aww you poor thing ::begin to pelt InuYasha with hard objects::
Sango: Kikyo! Let me hit him with my boomerang before you start dragging him to the depths of Hell!
Kikyo: Kagome stop shooting those arrows! They cancel out my evil power!
Girls: ::in unison:: THIS IS FOR MAKING RIN CRY!! NOW LET SESSHOMARU JOIN THE CONTEST!
InuYasha: I hate mother�s intuition. Enough! He can join!
Rin: Yipee! Thank you InuYasha-san!
Girls: Awww ^-^
InuYasha: Enough!
Miroku: ::picks up RIn:: Now ladies, you could have one of these for your very own if you�d only comply with my pick up line ^-^
Sango: Hmm, I never thought about it like that before.
Kagome: Yeah, I want a Rin!
Sango: Of course not all kids are Rins.
Kikyo: True. He ::points to Miroku:: was a kid once too.
Kagome: Ooh. Good point. Not a good risk to take.
Girls: Naw.
Miroku: I was so close.
Kouga: Can we get on with the contest?
Mysterious Voice: Kukuku, not quite (A. note) yet.
Kaede: That voice..
Miroku: That laugh..
Kagome: Eek! Baboon man!
Naraku: Kukuku, I will beat you all in this silly contest and then I will kill you! Kuku
All: Nooo!
::but it is too late. Naraku whips off his robes to reveal speedo and white shinny legs::
Girls: My eyes, my virgin eyes!
Kouga: No! You can�t compete!
Naraku: Why not?
Kouga: Er because..um..er
InuYasha: The judging system would be all messed up again! You must supply judges!
Naraku: Kukuku, to be bothered with such trivial matters. Very well. Kanna, come forth (mirror girl)
Miroku: Damn
::InuYasha hastily scribbles "do not suck souls of contestants" as rule number four::
Kikyo ::raises hand::
InuYasha: Yes?
Kikyo: Does this apply to me?
InuYasha: Er, no.
Kanna: No fair.
Shippo: Is this everyone?
Sango: This is just about every male in the series so unless this is a crossover this is it.
::coffee break::
Kagome: Huh? Coffee break? But we were just getting to the good part.
Reiko: Yeah but Sango�s bit about a crossover gave me a good idea. So if you�ll excuse me I need to make a few calls and-
InuYasha: ::grabbing telephone:: No! Absolutely not!
Kouga: I want to finish this!
Kagome: Come one everyone, back on the set!
Reiko: What? This is mutiny! You can�t do this! I created you! I-
Rumiko Takahashi�s lawyers: Did you just say you created these characters?
Reiko: What?! Wait! No! I didn�t mean it like that! Read my disclaimer! No!
::but it was too late, the lawyers proceed to eat her and the world did the maypole and sang happy songs and after that..::
::back on the set::
Shippo: Are the judges ready?
::judges nod::
Shippo: Let the contest begin! We will go in random order starting with InuYasha!
::InuYasha strolls across the stage::
Kagome: Oh my, his leg are so white and shinny!
Kaede: And smooth too. My new Venus razor will do it every time.
Kikyo: ::sigh:: those legs...they would look so nice in the depths of Hell.
::While made a little nervous by Kikyo�s remark InuYasha is pleased by the response he has generated::
InuYasha: ::cracking his knuckles:: Ha! Lets see how Kouga can stand up to me.
Shippo: OK! Ladies and demons...Kouga!
::Kouga steps out and struts::
Kagome: Oh my! They are whiter than ever!
Kaede: A look managed even with out my razor!
::at this moment Kouga strategically positions his legs so that they catch the sun. The effect is like shinning a flashlight into a mirror::
Rin: Pretty!
Sango: ::appreciativly puts on sunglasses::
::the others murmur in awe::
InuYasha: ::aware that he is losing ground:: You think thats some thing huh? Well after all that Nair his legs smell funny! Mine, however, smell berry fresh.
Miroku: ::from back stage:: Don�t dis da Nair!
::but InuYasha has proven his point and the girls murmur amongst themselfs::
Kagome: Yeah, it does kinda smell funny.
Rin: Yucky.
Kouga: ::not to be out done:: Oh yeah?!? Well the dog turd has razor burn on his knees!
Kaede: ::shaking head in a "told you so manner":: it takes a woman�s touch.
Kikyo: So he does.
Kagome: Hmm, so one has smelly legs and the other has razor burn.
Sango: Bummer.
Shippo: So it�s time for our next contestant! Miroku!
::Miroku walks out on stage and struts his stuff::
Rin: Kagome-san, does he use the yucky Nair stuffie too?
Kagome: I think he does.
Miroku: ::overhearing:: I may use Nair but after the application I smooth on scented lotion and not only does this kill the smell it also makes my legs rose petal soft.
Sango: Hmm, that makes quite a difference.
Rin: No yucky smell?
Kikyo: ::musing:: You know those legs wouldn't look bad in the depths of Hell either.
Miroku: ::murmuring to InuYasha:: I wish she would find another standard for comparison.
InuYasha: ::hurt by Kikyo�s words:: Kikyo! I thought you wanted me!
Kikyo: Well the monk doesn't have razor burn.
InuYasha: ::visibly upset with a certain Hoshi:: Hey, a, Kouga old buddy, what do ya say we team up and maim Mi-
Shippo: ::Sensing an ensuing murder attempts to change the subject:: And for the next contestant : Naraku.
::Naraku enters, not in the baboon pelt, not in his little "master of the castle" body, but in the form of a women with nice legs::
Kanna: ::silent (duh) waves a little flag with an "N" on it::
Sango: Is that legal?
Kikyo: O.o Our relationship just got wierd-er.
Miroku: ::chanting to himself:: She�s still Naraku, she�s still Naraku, I will not ask her to bear my child, she�s still Naraku....
InuYasha: ::to Miroku:: You disgust me.
Kaede: Well, look at it this way. At least we didnt have to see Naraku in a speedo.
Kagome: True, true.
Shippo: And finally...Sesshomaru!
::Sesshomaru delicately cat walks across the stage::
Kagome: Wow! Looks like the stripes go down all the way to his-
::breaks off because she is nudged hard by Kaede who, in turn, mutters something about nasty little girls::
Rin: Yay Sesshomaru-sama!
Other girls: Awww!
Kikyo: His legs are so smooth. Almost as if there was never any hair.
Sesshomaru:That because there wasent any. My legs are naturaly hair free and rose scented.
::the girls gaze in wide eyed amazement::
Sesshomaru::smugly noticing the reaction he has invoked:: Once again, dear brother, I prove superior to your razor burned self and..er?
::the girls shift their gaze to InuYasha to discover the reason for Fluffy�s uncharacteristic loss of words::
InuYasha: ::glances down at his legs to find:: Ha! The razor burn has vanished and once again my legs are white and shinny!
Rin: Oh! Little pink spots go all gone!
Kaede: With the razor burn worn off InuYasha is back in the game.
Kikyo: And the razor gives legs that little extra panache.
Kagome: Most defiantly.
Shippo: Well with that twist of events it is now voting time. I will go through the contestants one last time.
InuYasha: Who shaved with a razor and just escaped the fate of razor burn
Kouga: Who used Nair and smells funny, but can make the sun reflect off his legs, so white and shinny are they.
Miroku:Who also used Nair but put on lotion to counteract the smell and make his legs silky soft.
Naraku:Who has white shinny shapely legs because, he, er, took a women�s form.
Sesshomaru:Whose legs are naturaly hair free and smell of roses.
Rin: Yay Sesshomaru-sama!
Other Girls: Awwww.
Kouga: Quit it you little...
::the girls ready attacks for if Kouga dares to insult the cute little girl::
Kouga: ::actually using his brain:: darling, sweet child ^-^
Shippo: All right Judges, we vote by secret ballot so fill out your paper and put it in the hat. Soon we will have a "Mr.-
Naraku: *Ahem*
Shippo: Er, soon we will have our "White Shinny Legs-San"
Who will the title be bestowed upon? Who will get Kagome. Find out in my next chapter! R&R now and you could help decide the outcome ^_-
Back to The Challenge Onwards to The Results