Warning: everyone and everything is OOC
Disclaimer: I don�t own InuYasha (he just chooses to stay at my house of his own free will. Handcuffs and booby trapped doors play absolutely no part in this decision) And as for the series I don�t own that either. I got the idea for this fic from a strange pic with an even stranger caption and in the slim event that the owner of the site I found the pic on reads this fic They may send me a strongly worded e-mail and I will send them all my profits from this fic (which, of course, will be nothing...unless one of y�all really feel compelled to send me money ^-^) So don�t sue me and just read the fruiting fic!
InuYasha: Kagome, I�ve had enough of this game! You must choose now between me and Kouga!
Kouga: Yes!
Kagome: Oh cruel world that puts such a choice before me! But alas if I must chose I shall chose...Kouga!
Kouga: HA HA HA! Come Kagome, let us elope and leave the dog.
Kagome: Oh te he he ^-^
InuYasha: ::stumbles back in shock, dramatic lighting flashes across the background:: Why Kagome? Why him?
Kagome: ::pauses in thought:: well, I�ll have to say it�s Kouga�s white shinny legs.
::Kagome and Kouga run off, Kagome still giggling "te he he"::
InuYasha: ::starts pacing:: Just because of his white shinny legs he was chosen. Well I have white shinny legs too! Kagome has just never seen them because of my big baggy pants! In fact I bet I have white-er and shinier legs than Kouga! I�ll show him! I�ll show them all! Soon the world will bow to InuYasha: King of the White Shinny Legs!
Kaede: InuYasha, did you take my razor again?
InuYasha: ...
Kaede: Give it back.
InuYasha: 3 more days.
Kaede: 2.
InuYasha: Fine but the cream I�m keeping.
::Coffee Break::
InuYasha: I think I hate you.
Ukyo: Be quiet and drink your coffee.
Kagome: Ukyo! Tell Kouga I was just following the script!
Kouga: ::latched on to Kagome�s leg:: You said you chose me!
Ukyo: ^-^;; uh, coffee break over, back on the set!
::The Next Day::
Kouga: ::hit in the head with a rock:: What the @#$%?!? ::picks up rock and takes off attached note and reads:: "You are cordially invited to a small White Shinny Leg show down hosted by InuYasha Esquire. Hope to see you there."
::off stage Shippo the Scribe get whaped repeatedly by a certain InuYasha Esquire::
Shippo: But, challenge letters should always be written politely to scare you enemy by showing them you are not worried! Ouch!
Kouga: Oh believe me, I�m scared. But I will take InuYasha�s challenge and prove to the world who has the whitest and shiniest legs!
Kagome: What was that Kouga?
Kouga: Nothing Kagome my love. It�s just that InuYasha refuses to admit defeat and had challenged me to a White Shinny Leg contest.
Kagome: Hmm, actually I�ve never seen InuYasha�s legs. ::A thought strikes:: What if InuYasha really does have white shinny legs?
Kouga: ::getting worried:: But but you chose me!
Kagome: Of course I did. But only if you win the contest ^-^
Kouga: ::face a mask of determination:: I will win! I must win!
::Later that day::
Kouga: What do you mean you gave it to InuYasha?!?!
Kaede: Not give, I *lent* him my razor for the next two days.
Kouga: But the competition is in one day! Errgghh!
InuYasha: ::behind a rock watching:: bwa ha ha
::enter Miroku::
Miroku: What�s Shippo doing?
InuYasha: Nothing. Go away.
Miroku: KAGOME!
Kagome: ::from offstage:: Sit boy!
InuYasha: ::obediently plumes to the ground::
Miroku: What�s Shippo doing? And are you ever going to give Kaede back her razor?
InuYasha: Shippo is writing requests for judges for my final show down with Kouga and Kaede said I could have her razor for two more days.
Miroku: Well hurry would you. Other people want to use it too. What the showdown going to be?
InuYasha: The showdown will determine once and for all which of us have the whitest and shiniest legs.
Miroku: Ohh, so it�s that old quarrel again. Of course you both know I have the whitest and shiniest legs.
InuYasha: :: with upset expression:: You do not!
Miroku: Of course I do! Why do you think I wear this fruity purple dress thing? If I flaunted my legs like Kouga the girls would be all over me. Not that that is necessarily a *bad* thing but I want the girl who bears my child to love me for who I am and not just for my white shinny legs. ::wipes away a sentimental tear::
InuYasha: Oh you wish all that cr@p was true!
Miroku: It is! Just to prove it I too will enter the contest! Give me that razor.
InuYasha: Grrrr
Miroku: Now you mentioned judges...
Shippo the Scribe: Yes, I�ve sent letters to Kagome, Sango, Kikyo, Naraku..
::both Miroku and InuYasha suffer coordinated heart attacks::
Shippo the Scribe: I was kidding! Just kidding!
InuYasha: ::slowly recovering:: Don�t ..EVER..do that..again!
Miroku: oh the pain!
InuYasha: Well other than that the judges sound good. I think that�s all we�ll need if-
Kaede: ::conveniently coming out from nowhere:: A-hem.
InuYasha: Yeah?
Kaede: *A-hem*
InuYasha: ::slowly the rusty gears start to turn:: ::thinking:: Wait if we were talking about judges and Kaede looks insulted could it be she wants to be a...
Miroku: ::sniff sniff:: Is something burning?
InuYasha: Kaede wants to be a JUDGE!
::the world burst into rounds of applause and InuYasha takes his bows::
Kaede: ::walking away looking pleased:: well, now that that�s settled...
InuYasha: No! Wait!
::Kaede slowly turns...and glares::
Kaede: Whose razor is that? Well?!
InuYasha: mumble rurble
Kaede: Whose!?
InuYasha: yours -_-
Kaede: ::smiling:: Glad we got that over with. See you tomorrow ^_^::leaves::
InuYasha: I have the sudden desire to eat grass and die.
Miroku: It helps if you picture the look on Kougas face when he finds out tomorrow.
InuYasha: ^-^ you�re right.
::various other places in feudal Japan::
Kikyo: ::looking at the invitation:: Hmmm, I think I *will* grace this event with my presence.
Sango: ::also looking at invitation:: This sounds fun, let�s see ::flips through daily planner:: no lines in Nermia tomorrow. God! Does Ukyo *ever* get manga time? Oh well, it just makes this double anime stuff less hectic.
Jaken: ::hiding in a bush watching this all:: The nerve of those insects! Don�t they know all this arguing is futile! Sesshomaru-sama�s legs are far whiter and shinier than theirs! I must inform him of this heresy. He will be most interested.
::at Sesshomaru�s, uh, lair::
Sesshomaru:Most interesting Jaken. I was just thinking how long it�s been since I last dropped by and harassed my brother. This is perfect. When I win the contest Kagome will fall for me and InuYasha will be crushed! I love being evil ^-^.
Rin: Yay! If Kagome-san comes back with Sesshomaru-sama I�ll have a daddy *and* a mommy!
Sesshomaru:-_-; Rin, for the last time, I am not your daddy.
Rin: Uncle?
Sesshomaru:-_-;; No.
Rin: Big Brother?
Sesshomaru:-_-;; No.
Rin: Best-est Friend?
Sesshomaru:-_-;;;NO!
::coffee break::
Sesshomaru:White shinny legs or no, I *don�t* want Kagome.
Ukyo: Oh you know you do.
Sesshomaru:Jaken, fetch me an object with which to bludgeon.
Jaken: Hai Sesshomaru-sama.
Social Worker:Are you Mr. Maru? We have reason to suspect you are guilty of child abuse.
Sesshomaru: ...
S.W. This "Rin" do you force her to obey your every command? Make her walk with you for miles through piles of dead demons? Tell her to play nice with a green icky bumpy yucky thing? Give her that awful hair style? Well? Do you deny these happenings?
Sesshomaru: Lies! All of it! She does all of that of her own free will!
S.W. Tell it to the judge.
Ukyo: Uh, break over! Back on set!
Jaken: Sesshomaru-sama! What should I do with the object with which to bludgeon?
Sesshomaru:Hit the lady in the white coat.
Jaken: Hai Sesshomaru-sama.
S.W.: You haven't seen the last of me! I�ll see you in court! I�ll-itai-_-
::The Next Fateful Day::
Onwards to The Contest