9/5/02


Lately I've been lonesome
And crying all alone
Lately I�ve been angry
And wishing I was home.
Lately I�ve been so empty
And helpless over here.
Cause I�ve been waiting for you
To save me from my fears.
I truly thought you loved me.
I thought you were sincere.
I thought that I was faking
And that you were really here.
But now I know I�ve been lying
To me myself and I
Because you�re not out there
But I�m not quite sure why.
Cause you swore you would protect me
You swore you'd watch my back
But I�ve been stealing glances
And you�re not keeping track.
I tell myself to slow down
Or wait a little while.
But deep inside I knew
That ill that
I'd have to wait for a long while.
I never would believe it
But now I'm aging fast
And I know that your love
Is something in the past.

9/22/02


i'm tired of pretending
that everythings ok
i'm tired of pretending
that i have nothing to say
i'm sick of all your bullshit
i'm sick of smiling back
i wish i was a bitch
so i could hurt you back
i wish that i was angry
instead of so damn scared
a penny for your thoughts
if you even care.

7/16/01


words of hope come to me.
i tell myself fairytales come true
but then i look at you
your eyes scatter to and fro
is he looking at me?
no,
no
he's looking at the dirt
smeared across my face.
he's looking at my hair
tangly and out of place.
he's looking at my jeans
covered with mud and dust
he's staring at my bracelet
covered in rust
hes glancing at my chest
covered in hay.
hes looking at my brastrap
dirty from the day.
does he think i'm cute?
does he think i'm sweet
or does he picture me
as the girl from down the street?
i guess i'll never know
and i guess he'll never know
who i really am
or maybe he doesn't give a damn.
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