| 10/4/00 I thought it would be easy, To follow the sunset to the sea. I thought I could run, From this life that I lead. But now I see that there is no place, Where I can hide from who I am. I can�t believe a lie, Though it seems that others can. I�ve been called independent, Though I hide behind a pen. I scratch shapes and scribble words, That�s independence to them I guess. But not to me. A girl I once met said: �You�re not afraid of what you are.� I say to myself: �I am afraid, Why else would I hit the bars?� I know that I�m misread, But I still don�t really care, I�ve stripped myself of falseness Now I�m honestly totally bare. I�m walking around naked, And everyone can see. The scars and burns that clothing hide, They give personality� I wanted to drift west, And bathe in the warm blue sea. But the mountains on the way, Seem to beckon me. Maybe I should stay here, And slowly lose my mind. If I could recall where it slipped away, It may not be hard to find. What am I here? It�s hard to say� but� Here is nowhere, I am nothing, I�m tired of everything� I don�t want to be a nothing living nowhere. 9/23/00 Empty staircases Echo words Spoken without thought. It�s unclear to all Where it all comes from Who has understanding I truly would like some. 11/6/00 I want to see life, Further than this paper. I want to focus On the background. The world beyond this page, Isn�t real to me. I�m gazing at this page, It�s all that I want to see. My loves, You�re so quick to judge. What will become of me? What will they say, When I admit that I�ve been sleeping? Sleeping my life away. I just shut my eyes and drift Into a dream each day. In my waking life I never feel so brave So free. What has become of me? Oh, what will they say When they hear about the Things I think each day? My love, You�re so quick to judge. You think you know me well. My love, I know that you would not tell, Anyone else About my eyes being closed everyday. About my eyes. |
| 10/30/00 People who once cared for me, No longer do. I hate to admit it, But it�s true. People I held hostage, With parts of themselves, Somehow these parts grew legs, And just walked away. I can remember being Invited to parties. I can remember, The drunken boys hitting on me. Now when acquaintances stop to say hello, It�s all only obligatory. I�m closer to happy then I�ve ever been. Because they don�t really like me, And I really don�t like them. I guess it�s good, in it�s own way. 11/1/00 I got arrested For driving with no license. I feel so confused, As to why I�m wearing cuffs. �Now I have your attention,� I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout out, �Enough is enough!� Tell me, where were you guys, When my boyfriend slipped me roofies? Where are you guys, When my friends get beat up? Where do you hide, When to streets are filled with violence? Our tires get slashed, Our homes get trashed. But you�re not here, When we need you� You�re wasting time enforcing drug laws� You�re parked on the roadside, Harassing those who drive. You worry about traffic, While there are people taking lives. I�m just waiting, For the next revolution. I can�t offer any solution. But I know that it�s time to make a change. I think we really should, rearrange Our priorities. I can�t believe that this Is life in the land of the free. 8/17/00 I wish I was a soap bubble, I would just float away In the wind and dissolve. I want to be a bubble, And drift past my life. If I was a bubble, I know I couldn�t ever cry. |