| 11/7/00 Time and raindrops I�ve befriended, In my dreams these sorrows ended. But everyday some unforetold Tragedy seems to unfold. Furled brows and prudent words, Things I feel I can�t deserve. Rhetorical questions, Asked in a daze, If answers come I�ll be amazed. A maze for rats Once was a joke� I am no rat But cannot toke. The moon forgot to disappear, Things like this can happen here. Hear me out� If you will. Trip in and out� Just keep still. I once held tight to something, To what I can�t recall. Now my hands are empty, And can grasp nothing at all. Chasing X is always right On maps that lead to treasure. Snorting X may not be right But who can turn down pleasure? Forests of forgotten trees, Leafy wisdom�s muffled plea, For liberation from these laws That blame a plant for humans� flaws. Teardrops, raindrops soon collect. Puddles of lost intellect. Flaming mouths of liars, Don�t affect me. Polluted mouths of rivers, Flow into the seas. Season�s pass, Spiders die. I will not know, Until I try. Maybe all-consuming fear Will walk away and leave me here. If I could speak, I guess I�d say: Tie your sneakers, And run away. 12/8/00 Mindset Must change Nothing seems, To stay the same. Empty jars on dusty tables Monitoring each appraisal. I send the letters Everyday. I love to remember my life, I�ll always say Things have been good, Things have been bad, I hope I�ve been gracious For all that I�ve had. Mindset Won�t change. Suddenly I feel so strange. Try to feel my way out of the dark Out of dark crowded rooms. Why do I delight, In the things I can�t do. |
| 12/10/00 Do you remember paper snowflakes Made from cutting folded paper? How long it seemed to take To fold a sheet into a little fan. If he asks me my name, I�ll say Gina O�Ryan, Not Gina Orion, Not Shelly O�sane. Keep myself secret. Protect myself from all. If they track me down, They�ll just run into a wall. Bowing hills, Russia�s regrets, Bowing to him, He will never forget� The dark haired girl called Gina. Practically screaming, She can�t find her place. She�s somebody else, She just wears my face.. A dead boy�s face Invades her dreams. I don�t need a knife, To remember it�s gleam� Paper snowflakes in my hands, Stretching out it�s not so grand. 12/15/00 I can�t handle myself, In social situations. I used to be cool, But now I�m simply kind. I�m trying hard To be a better person, My friends are all Leaving me behind. It doesn�t matter� I don�t need �cool� to be. I share the few things I have, I hope I give more than I receive. I can�t handle myself, In friendship or in love. I just don�t trust anyone, I�ve been lied to enough. A little white lie, Makes me picture many to come, How will this leave me? Probably sad and alone� But hey, what can I say, My �friends� leave me like this anyway. 12/28/00 Don�t cry, little girl, All is well in your world. Don�t quit, little one, There�s too much to be done. So many times, I�ve smelled needles of pine, In a forest I found in a dream. Too many days, They have said, change your ways. But things are not quite what they seem. I see that my mind, Has corroded away. How could I believe, That I�d not have to pay, For the freedom I wanted, For the anger I felt, For each time I refused Much needed help? Don�t cry little girl, You�re still alone, but that�s okay, You need nothing, But you�ve known that no one stays. |