| 7/12/99 Andrea�s Horse I noticed immediately, That you were very over-the-weather. And it hurt me so bad, But I guess you just couldn�t keep it together. And how can you ask me to love you, But ask me to help you to hide, This new love that�s been killing you, While you waste away before my eyes. You grow more tired, Every day. And your beautiful horse, Comes to carry you away. You smile at me, From somewhere behind your eyes. You have bruises on your arms, That are harder and harder to hide. You are killing yourself Right in front of me, And using a weapon, That n one can see. You are ending your life, Just to end all the pain, But you can�t change your mind, In the middle of this game. And you grow more tired, Each and every day, That your beautiful horse Carries you away. You don�t realize how much it�s hurting me. And I don�t know what hurts me more, You or the things you can�t see. And how can you ask me to love you, But ask me to help you to hide, This new love that�s been killing you, As you waste away before my eyes. You�re so thin, And your face, Is so dead, Wasted away. As they lower you into the earth, I can think of nothing to say, All I can see are the hoof-prints That your horse left when she trotted away. 3/23/00 Staring into the fishbowl. Fins and big eyes stare back. Judging by the colors of gravel, I�m still alive. I�m still alive, and staring. An iridescent distortion, Of sunlight through the water, Warms my face, But the glass is cold. 6/29/00 He left a knife, In my glove compartment. He left a footprint, On the pavement. He told me once To keep my mouth shut, I told him once, �That�s absurdity.� I don�t forget, What goes on, I hate the way You look at me. Smile on, pretty girls, I don�t know your secrets, I don�t want to. But someone can see through me. Someone knows me. And he left a knife, In my glove compartment. He told me to keep twice To keep my mouth shut. So I pulled over and made him walk. |
| 7/2/00 Ambiguity of everyday Eats around the corners Of my sanity. The rush of chasing a speck in the distance. Loneliness trickles like a Silver stream� Echoing words spoken But thoughts unexpressed, Patient whispers from the past� Misconstrued efforts to form a truce. Stains on the curtains And bedsheets and walls� Smoke meets the ceiling Unwrinkled lines of fabric Creaseless smiles with artificial circumstance. Creative uses for indifference. 7/12/00 Why am I bleeding, For reasons unknown? Sitting on the roof, Dizzy and alone. Tears on my face Questions on my mind. Hidden under sheets of white, Fearing what I find. My blood stains my mouth And my hands. Soaks my clothes. Where has it come from, Why don�t I know? Whispers in a dark room Red fills up my eyes. Empty sobs, without a trace Of tears. I cannot cry. I don�t know how it happened, But I do see the blood encrusted, On my neck, under my nails. Everywhere around me. Blood flowing freely, In a river of distrust. Reasons aren�t worth my time Anymore. 9/21/00 The world at night seems like, A blanket of darkness, Pierced by headlights and street lamps. Encrusted with old newspapers, And cigarette butts, Yearning for a chance to just blacken. Humankind has gone too far� Or so it seems. No one is willing to stumble through the dark, No one is willing to wait for dawn, It seems that everyone just embraces The neon signs and yellow lights Which obstruct the true nature of night. Where is the night for which I�ve longed? Where is the sweet darkness with warm, Rich blue highlights? Where is the unobtrusive starlight, Which reveals no detail, Intrudes on no one, and sets me free? |