The break is almost over. I'm actually ready to go back to school. All new classes, new people, and new things to do. I appreciate this aspect of college. I am given the chance to start over during each semester. I always say that it'll be better, but most of the time it doesn't change. As long as it isn't worse, I'm ok. (I know it's not 2004 yet, but I ran out of room on the other page.)
1/1/04
Happy New Year. So far, nothing bad has happened. I hope this becomes a pattern. Yes yes, I know. Always the pessimist. That could be my resolution: to be optimistic. However, I prefer to be ready for whatever may happen. It's not being pessimistic. It's being cautious.
1/3/04
This whole cupid season disgusts me. Does nobody have a mind of their own anymore? I suppose I'm too independent. That's another one of my tragic flaws. Right along with too picky and too shy. One day, I will probably become one of these love-struck puppets. Perhaps then, I won't mind being infatuated. But until then, I'm annoyed.
1/7/04
Tomorrow a new journey begins. For all I know it could be an old journey. But then again, maybe not. This may be the best semester I ever have. Or it could be the worst. I guess I won't know til I'm there. So why do I care?
1/8/04
I'm content with this "journey" already. It's really amazing how nice how some people can be to you if they haven't seen you in a long time. My worst class, biology, is promising to be anything but dull. And by the way, the new Vertical Horizon CD is great!
1/9/04
I really shouldn't update this every day. I'll run out of room again like last time. I'm bored, so I thought "Why not?". Maybe this semester I'll have a social life. I need one. The Internet is consuming way too much of my time. Ok, fashion question: does green match with red and black? I hope so. Because I wore this in public.
1/12/04
"Lighten up!" he says. Sure. Easy for him to say. Actually that's the whole point. I would like to be able to speak to people and make friends. I've been told that I'm intimidating. I think the word "terrified" fits better.
1/12/04 Again
Ick. I am such a geek. Reason #1: I can remember the quadratic formula when I'm not taking a math class. Reason #2: I love Tetris. Reason #3: I ran out of room on my magnetic poetry board. Reason #4: I enjoy being a geek. Lol. That was fun. I need to make more lists like that. (Reason #5).
1/14/04
I'm in the mood to write something. So I'm writing about writing. How clever... Anyhow, I need to think of a storyline. I would prefer to write fictionally, but I can't write about things that I haven't experienced. As much as I love Sci-fi, I don't think I could write it. Maybe I should finish the "Adventures of Wilfred and Irmalily" that I began writing when I was 13. Ha.
1/16/04
So I'm suppose to be growing bean plants in plastics cups...How am I suppose to do that? If I put them on top of the air conditioner so they can get sunlight, they might die. Not to mention this is a three day weekend. How can I measure the plants if I'm not here. So many obstacles.
1/18/04
Well this is annoying. I realized I've been writing in this backwards. I can't figure out how to change it without retyping it. No, Cut and Paste isn't working on this. I've pretty much made up my mind (which I'll probably change in a couple of days). I think I should try for a music minor. We'll see.
1/20/04
I need a hobby. Besides roaming the Internet 24/7. Piano doesn't count. Anyways, I'm attempting to grow the lima beans. One of them was in several pieces to begin with. Hmm. I wonder what will happen to that one. My English topic may just drive me crazy. I went to the library like a good girl. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what I'm looking for, and what I find doesn't seem to fit the subject. How rude.
1/21/04
These are the best days of my life. I know that now. If I always look for better times, I'll just be disappointed. I wonder if part of it is the environment, though. If this place was bigger, I probably wouldn't like it as much. I'm also starting to see the other side of the story... social status doesn't matter here. Why does it have to matter so much in high school? These are the same people, but it's different. Now there are groups, but they don't have any hierarchy. I like that. Finally, I feel like I belong somewhere.
1/23/04
Uncertainty. Need I say more?
1/26/04
I'm having social problems now. I can't seem to be nice. So I'm either being mean or stupid. I'm not even trying to. I'm just trying to avoid a potential problem. Two, for that matter. I guess that might explain my sudden overload of stress.
1/28/04
He's doing it again...I can't stand it. All I want to do is get over this.
1/29/04
Procrastination... Bad habit. Anyways, I'm having an identity crisis. I'm using so many personas, I'm not sure who I am anymore. I guess the true me is what I am at home. And I'm not home much. I mean, they're all parts of me, but I seem to be conforming to my environment too easily. And that, normally, is a quality I look down on.
1/29/04 Again
Here I am at the crossroads. Guess what...my mind is wavering. (I'm referring to my minor in case you didn't know. (Twelve days, A record!)) Math or music? I like both. But I'm leaning toward math. It is more challenging and there are less classes. "Follow the yellow brick road." Whatever. Oh, the irony of it all!!
2/2/04
The secret is to be real. Not a sculpture.
2/4/04
I'm telling you, typing in the dark is not all it's cut out to be. Why don't I turn on the light? Well, if I turned on the light, I'd wake up and have a headache. Two bad things. New topic. The cello is one of the most beautiful instruments there is. I'm not going to attempt to play it because I don't get along with the violin family. But if I ever write a song, I'll put a cello in the background for that melancholy effect. Bagpipes are a different story. They only sound good with other bagpipes. I'm not a wind instrument person either. I'm a pianist. Classify if you dare: strings or percussion? Say one and the moderator will say the other one is the right answer. I know. I've been there.
2/4/04
Que quieres? Esta muy importante que sabes. Pero que necesitas? Esta mas importante saber la diferencia.
2/6/04
I'm going to play the song today. Unfortunately when I'm in front of people I have memory glitches. How inconvenient. And next week I'll have to play it again....on Friday the 13th. Sounds lovely... Not that I'm superstitious....