Help the child to calm down.  Tell the child in a firm, normal voice, "STOP and CALM DOWN". Suggest a way to do it. "Go to the chair, sit.  Take five deep breaths.  Start counting softly to 25." "Say over and over: Be cool, be calm." "Go to your room; splash your face with cold water." Help the child notice that he or she has been able to calm down.

When he or she has calm down, ask the child to think about why he or she is angry.  Listen calmly, respectfully, and without interrupting to really hear what the child is saying.  Remember that people get angry when they think something that happens to time is unfair or wrong.  Help the child to describe what happened and what made him or her mad.

Help your child empathize with the other person, whether you or someone else.  This means helping your child see the other person's point of view, feelings and reason for the action.

Tell the child how you feel about the situation in a calm, loving way. (Jennifer, I know now why you are angry.  It makes me sad that Jenna made you so mad.  Let's talk about what you might do.)

Help the child choose the best solution for the situation.  It may include how to (1) apologize; (2) get an adult to help; (3) walk away; (4) assertively use an "I message" to say why the child is angry, then walk away; (5) make a deal with the other child about toys or game rules; (6) go to a special place to calm down; or (7) go do something else the child enjoys.

Reestablish the relationship with the child.  Let him or her know that he or she is still valued and loved, but it is the negative behavior that needs to change.  Praise or reward any efforts or improvements in calming oneself and making better choices of what to do next time when angry.