To: [A list of many email addresses. The viewer is expected to substitute them for their own. OR ELSE. XD]

Sent: Monday, 8 March 2004 4:05:39 AM

Subject: WE NEED YOUR HELP. THE FATE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED RESTS UPON YOUR SHOULDERS. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU.

From: <[email protected]> Seishi Kou

 

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To whom this may concern

I am Taiki Kou. You may remember me from such anime and manga as Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.
I come to you now with a plea for help:
Several days ago, on Wednesday the 3rd of March, my two fellow Starlights Seiya Kou and Yaten Kou were kidnapped. God knows how relieved I am that Seito was away somewhere, and that Kakyuu was with Usagi when it happened - Kakyuu-sama could have been HURT. And I don't even want to know what Seito would've done!
But I digress. Prior to these days, the five of us (... well, four, since Seito was usually out somewhere - some of you may remember her from either such fanfiction sites like fanfiction.net, or being reviewed by her at said site) received phone calls that involved nothing but very heavy breathing on the other end, before we were hung up on.
We also received in the mail... 'letters.' They usually went like this:

Seiyat Seiyat Seiyate Seiyat Seiyat

- though repeated far more times then whaat I have just shown you.
Then, on Wednesday, as mentioned above, Seiya and Yaten were KIDNAPPED by a masked figure who kept chanting "Seiyat seiyat seiyat!"
Yesterday however we received a video tape in the mail. The contents were, suffice to say, very disturbing.
I will now attempt to describe the contents of the tape.

-Start Video Recording-

In a dark, barely lit room, sits Yaten (with a pole in front of her). At first glance she seems alright, but then you see that her ankles have been handcuffed to the chair legs, her wrists to the pole. Her hair is in an absolute disarray.
Immediately things start to look Very Wrong.
Yaten's hair is Never messed up. Uh uh, no siree.
A figure (female) tells her to start speaking; we then see that figure walk through a door into another room. We are unable to get a close look at this person; the lighting isn't that good and she's wearing black.

Yaten: Um - um -

In the other room, we hear Seiya's voice.

Seiya: GODDAMIT YATEN! SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT!!! HUUUUUUURRY~~~~~!!!

Yaten: *TERRIFIED, she starts talking, though it's obvious that she's reading something from behind the camera - she has to squint several times* The - PERSON - who "borrowed" us has several demands. Unless you want to see me or Seiya ever again, you will follow them.

Yaten gives the video recorder a YOU-BETTER-DO-AS-THE-PERSON-SAYS-OR-I-WILL-STAR-SENSITIVE-INFERNO-YOUR-ASSES-TO-KINMOKU-AND-BACK look.

Yaten: You are to submit ALL your Seiya and Yaten fanfictions *her mouth twists* to this site:
Perchance to Dream
You are also to dedicate yourself to the Seiya and Yaten -
I AM NOT BLOODY GOING TO KEEP READING THIS. SEIYA AND I DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER.

There is silence.

Suddenly, from the other room, Seiya starts screaming again.

Seiya: Oh god! Not Odango! NOT MY SAILOR MOON PLUSHIE!!! YATE~~~~~~~~N!!!!!

Yaten: O_O *starts reading again* You-are-also-to-dedicate-yourself-to-the-Seiya-and-Yaten-cause!!! IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE US AGAIN, YOU'LL DO IT!!!

-End video tape-

Kakyuu-sama and Seito are of course, ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT.
Since then, I have tried my best to track down ANY PERSON who has written even ONE Seiya and Yaten fanfiction as well as any Fanart, essays multimedia, ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE SEIYA/YATEN PAIRING on the greatness of it (you two, if either of you see this, I'm sorry but THIS IS YOUR SAFETY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT) in the hopes that this evil bloodthirsty person may be appeased!
Please - if you value Seiya and Yaten - if you have a heart - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP US!!! Do as the kidnapper requests! THE FATE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DEPENDS ON YOU!!

Sincerely,
Taiki Kou