Even though I rant and rave on the Internet, in person I'm pretty nice to people. I haven't even smacked anyone who's told me they're voting for Hillary. Talk about restraint! I stay up-to-date on current events by listening to hours of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity at work. Sure, it's biased, but it's the bias I prefer, so it's all good. No NPR for me! Here is what has me riled up this month.

In this issue:

Ron Paul: Where Have They Been Hiding This Guy?

Runaway Gas Prices

How Many States Are There Again?

Isn't It November Yet?

Visit the Archives

Ron Paul: Where Have They Been Hiding This Guy?

I've heard his name all along, but hadn't really paid much attention to Ron Paul until we got stuck with McCain as the Republican candidate. I posted a question on Yahoo! Answers asking for info on third-party candidates, and several people mentioned Paul. I checked out his website and, wow, why hasn't he received more attention?

He's a Republican, he's pro-life, he wants to crack down on illegal immigration, he's pro-environment, he wants to drill our own oil, he wants to clean up the pathetic public education mess. What's not to like? And he wants to get the job done in Iraq and get the heck out of there (not stay 100 years like McCain). Why haven't more conservatives embraced the man?

A few minutes later...

Well, I tried to find Paul's website to post here and did I get a shock: he's dropped out of the race! What the hell? The only decent candidate is now gone? Boy, do I feel like an idiot. Maybe if we're lucky McCain will pick him for VP. I think my head is going to explode...

The bottom line: I'm going to stop supporting candidates. Every time I do, they disappear from the race! On second thought, Go Obama!

Runaway Gas Prices

I'm finally feeling the gas crunch. On Friday night, I put $40 in my car (Buick LeSabre), and it didn't even fill it up. Which means I'll probably need to put some more in later this week. This stuff is killing my checking account!

Who's to blame? Liberals blame Big Oil for record profits. Conservatives blame liberals for not letting oil companies drill on our own soil. Meanwhile, Cuba and China are sucking all of the oil out of the reserves off our own coastline while we sit here worrying about disturbing the habitat of the spotted leopard shark whale or something. Then we support Middle-East terrorists just so they'll sell us their oil, even though they'd really like to see us nuked off the face of the planet. This is pure insanity!

Here's my solution: Start drilling our own oil! We're sitting on enough oil to be self-sufficient! Oil companies have greatly improved drilling and transporting techniques so there are fewer environmental disasters. There's no reason why we can't drill our own oil.

And don't get me started on ANWR! It was set aside as a wildlife reserve AND an oil field! Thanks to Communist Jimmy Carter, we haven't been allowed to drill there since his presidency. I like polar bears, but they range over hundreds of miles in their search for food. They are not going to be inconvenienced by going around a drilling complex! We're talking an area the size of a couple of WalMart parking lots in the middle of an area the size of West Virginia! They can go around! I just don't get these people. I don't understand why an imagined threat to an animal is more important than the real-life threat to actual human beings! They thought the Alaskan pipeline would destroy the caribou, but instead the populations have actually INCREASED! Okay, I'll simmer down now...

The other argument that the liberals like to make is that it will take ten years to see any results from our own drilling. Okay. So what? Where would you rather be ten years from now? About to become energy-independent from the Middle East, or paying $20 a gallon for gasoline with no relief in sight?

The Bottom Line: Drill here. Drill now. Sign the petition: http://www.americansolutions.com.

How Many States Are There Again?

Poor Obama. He's having such a tough time of things. His racist pastor, his terrorist mentor, his Anti-American wife, his white grandmother... Could things get much worse?

Well, apparently they can. He recently said that he had visited all 57 states, except for Alaska and Hawaii. Conservatives and conspiracy theorists jumped on this as a Freudian slip referral to the 57 Islamic nations. Supporters said he was just tired. While I am a conservative and LOVE conspiracy theories, I'm going with the "two tired" theory. Of course this begs the question: If he can't remember how many states there are when he gets tired, how is he ever going to make split-second red phone decisions in the middle of the night? I'm nervous about someone who can't operate under fatigue being in charge of the nation. I can't believe I actually agree with Hillary Clinton about something! Must be a sign of the Apocalypse or something!

The Bottom Line: Hillary may be right. Scary!

Isn't It November Yet?

Am I the only one who wishes it was November 5th already? Our fate is already sealed. We're screwed no matter who wins. Let's just jump ahead, have the election, and get on with our lives. I'm tired of the political ads. I'm tired of hearing about the election from the Talking Heads on the radio. Let's just do this and get it over with!

The Bottom Line: I'll be celebrating November 5th no matter who wins because it will finally be OVER!

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