Soap Box is born

Fourth Issue: April 2008

In this issue:

Rush Limbaugh and Operation Chaos

The Presidential Candidates

The Democratic Party

Rush Limbaugh and Operation Chaos

Wow, Rush sure has the Democrats stirred up now! Ironically, it's because of Democrats voting in Republican primaries that we ended up with McCain as our candidate. They seem to forget that they did the same thing.

At least it doesn't sound like anybody's going to jail. That's good to know. And no, I did not participate in Operation Chaos in Ohio. I actually didn't hear about it until after it was over, but even if I had, I would've still voted Republican. I'm not much of an activist. It is funny to see how much chaos this really has caused!

The bottom line: It's always amusing to get the Democrats riled up. Way to go, Rush!

The Presidential Candidates

Well, we're down to three, and they all suck. Looks like we're doomed to 4-8 years of nonsense and overspending. It's a little late to change anything now.

John McCain: The least of the evils. He's pretty much just a pro-life Democrat, but I guess that's better than nothing. I think he'll do to the country what Arnold the Governator did to California. Be prepared to kiss your hard-earned cash good-bye!

I think with all the in-fighting in the Democratic party, McCain has a pretty good shot at the White House. If Hillary wins the Democratic nomination, a lot of black people will be mad that Obama didn't win, and they'll vote for McCain. If Obama wins, a bunch of women will be mad that Hillary didn't win, and vote for McCain. Either way, the Democratic vote will be split, and McCain will win the stragglers.

Hillary Clinton: I must admit I'm rather amused that she put her foot in her mouth over the sniper fire thing. She's told so many lies, she can't keep them straight anymore.

Barak Obama: I think the black separatist preacher finally caught up with him. And Obama proved his lack of character by throwing both the minister and his own grandmother under the bus for his own political gain. Ouch. Things aren't looking good.

The Bottom Line: No matter who wins the presidential election, the American people will lose.

The Democratic Party

If I understand the Democratic Party correctly, the candidate who won the most popular votes may not get the party's nomination. This has something to do with Super Delegates, a concept I don't quite understand. It sounds pretty fishy to me. It is good news for Hillary, though. She may have a shot at getting back into the White House by bribing the Supes. It would suck for the people who voted for Barak, though.

Of course the party also decided that any states that moved up their primaries (like Michigan and Florida, I believe) wouldn't have their votes counted. HUH? I don't get it. Maybe I'm not corrupt enough to understand the inner workings of the Democratic party. I actually feel sorry for the Democrats in those states because their votes will probably not be counted. That's just not right. This is the United States, not communist Russia. Everyone's entitled to a vote, even if it's for the wrong side.

The Bottom Line: With all the corruption in the Democratic party, I'm glad I'm a Republican!

Third Issue: 2-9-08

In this issue:

The Super Bowl

The Presidential Candidates

Brittany Spears' Latest Meltdown

The Super Bowl

Wow, what a snooze fest! Even the commercials were boring! I was originally rooting for the Patriots so they could set a new record, but then I switched over to the Giants. It really didn't matter, though. There was one exciting play during the whole game, and that's the last points scored by the Giants. My mom said, correctly, that the Buckeyes played better than the Giants and the Patriots! Give me the Bucks any day!

And what ever happened to the great Super Bowl commercials? There were a couple that stick in my head, but mainly because they were so dumb. Maybe the era of great Super Bowl commercials is over. Hopefully next year will be better. Oh, well, at least the party food was good!

The bottom line: Let's hope for more excitement next year!

The Presidential Candidates

Here is my take on the main candidates.

Rudy Giuliani: Out of the race and backing McCain. Wow. And to think I was actually considering voting for him at one time!

Fred Thomas: My top pick, but now he's gone. I guess I'll have to choose the least of the evils from the leftovers.

Mike Huckabee: Was my choice for a long time, until I found out that he's light on immigration. No vote from me.

John McCain: A complete RINO (Republican In Name Only). He is pro-life. Other than that, he's a Democrat. No vote from me.

Mitt Rominy: Tough on immigration. People say they won't vote for him because he's a Mormon. I say, "Who cares?" I'm electing a political leader, not a spiritual one. I wouldn't vote for him to lead my church, but I will vote for him to lead my country.

Barach Obama: Seems like a nice guy, and much nicer-looking than Hillary. If a Democrat were to win, I'd want it to be him, because he seems like a better person than Hillary.

Hillary Clinton: Losing support left and right! How amusing! Maybe the other Dems are starting to see her for the screeching shrew that she is. Besides, if she's busy leading the country, who's going to keep Bill under control?

The Bottom Line: Not crazy about having a President named after a piece of sporting equipment, but he's still better than any Democrat!

Brittany Spears' Latest Meltdown

I honestly believe that the girl is in the throes of bipolar disorder. I hope she gets the help she needs. My only question is this: why does she need a police motorcade to take her to the hospital? Shouldn't they be out fighting crime or something?

The Bottom Line: Get help, but don't tie up your town's police force to do it.

Second Issue: 1-1-08

The Mortgage Bail-Out

Illegal Immigration

Global Warming

The Presidential Candidates

Brittany Spears' Little Sister

The Mortgage Bail-Out

Call me a curmudgeon, but I think this is the biggest travesty since the 9/11 widow bail-outs! Now don't get me wrong. I don't want anyone to lose their homes. But if someone is foolish enough to get an adjustable rate mortgage, they shouldn't expect the government (i.e., the taxpayers; i.e., ME!) to bail them out when the the rate adjusts UP. It's inevitable. If you can't afford a 7% mortgage when you buy your house, what do you think is going to happen when that 5% adjustable rate jumps up to 7% a couple of years later? Too many people tried to buy more house than they could afford, and now I'm stuck bailing them out. Good grief.

And the mortgage companies are equally at fault. If John and Jane Doe can barely afford the mortgage you're selling them at a low adjustable rate, and you KNOW it will cost them more in the future, then why should I have to bail you out of your own greediness? People need to grow up and take responsibility for their own bad decisions.

(By the way, what is my deal with the 9/11 widow bail-out? I have no sympathy for people who make 6 or 7 figures a year and can't be bothered to spend $100 a month on life insurance! We're barely scraping by on 20K, and yet we have life insurance. If we're poor and have the foresight to prepare for the inevitable, then why should our tax dollars have to go to rich people who have ten times the money we have?)

The bottom line: Get a fixed rate mortgage you can afford NOW, not one that is going to jump up in a few years.

Illegal Immigration

I have to admit: this is the one issue I'm using to determine my candidate in the primaries. I'm sick of people sneaking across the border and sucking up our resources. I know a lot of immigrants are looking for the chance to make a better lives for themselves. But a lot of them are also looking for a free meal. How many illegal immigrants are crowding our welfare rolls? How many are bankrupting local hospitals because they never pay for the services they use? We have enough born-and-bred Americans scamming the system. Why let a whole new crop come in and steal our tax dollars? How is it fair that some people give up half their income in taxes to support a bunch of lazy people who just want to have more kids so they can get more food stamps? And how do these people get benefits anyway? With illegal documents?

I'm all for immigration. My great-grandparents were immigrants, and I'm grateful for that, or I'd be a potato farmer in the Ukraine somewhere. But they did it legally. We're a country of immigrants. But if we're going to stay strong, we need to get rid of the law-breakers and make it easier for those who want to share in the American Dream (not the American welfare system) to become citizens.

Here's my solution:

1. Secure the borders so no more of them can sneak in. Build that 700 mile fence we're supposed to be building.

2. Make it easier to become a legal citizen so that those who want to come here for a better life can do so without having to break our laws.

3. Send all the criminals back to their own countries. Why should we have to pay to feed and house them in our jails? Let their own countries deal with them!

4. Annex Mexico. Then it won't be a problem anymore. Just joking!

The Bottom Line: Let's make it easier for legitimate people to come here, and harder for those who are only looking to scam off our welfare system and commit crimes against Americans.

Global Warming

The left says we're killing the planet. The right says it's all hype. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. I don't believe that the human race can single-handedly destroy the planet. We can destroy huge sections of it, but I don't think we can destroy the whole thing. Back in the 70's, they were predicting another ice age. Now it's a meltdown. Now the Bible does say that the earth will be destroyed by fire, so maybe we're trying to stop the inevitable. On the other hand, a single volcanic eruption could be the end of life as we know it. As for me, I'm cutting back the best I can. We've been slowly replacing our incandescents with fluorescents, and I've even bought some of those "green" reusable shopping bags. (Never mind that I always forget them when I go shopping. It's the thought that counts, right?) But I'm not going to feel guilty if I can't afford a Hybrid car or if I drive around looking at Christmas lights. And unlike Sheryl Crowe, I'm definitely using more than one square of toilet paper!

What I am tired of is these "Lear Jet Liberals" who fly around in their private jets and then try to make me feel guilty for my lifestyle. Or what about the recent World Conference on Global Warming? All the world's Big Wigs showed up in their private jets (spewing more pollution than most of us make in a single year), THEN the private jets had to be flown to a different island to be stored because there wasn't enough room at the local airport for them all. Maybe next year they can fly commercial and pick a location with an airport big enough to park all of their planes at once.

The Bottom Line: Reduce, reuse, recycle. And if you own a private jet, leave me alone!

The Presidential Candidates

Here is my take on the main candidates.

Rudy Giuliani: If he could clean up New York, maybe he could clean up the country. Or so I thought. Then I found out he made NYC a sanctuary city for illegals during his reign as mayor. No vote from me.

Fred Thomas: Seems like a nice guy, attends the same kind of church I do, love him on Law & Order. Sounds like he'd be tough on immigration. The rest of the family is voting for him. Still, he's kind of a second-tier candidate. He has a good chance of getting my vote.

Mike Huckabee: Was my choice for a long time, until I found out that he's light on immigration. No vote from me.

Barach Obama: Now that Oprah's behind him, he might have a chance of winning the Democrat vote. If a Democrat were to win, I'd want it to be him, because he seems like a better person than the other Dems.

Hillary Clinton: I won't go on my diatribe about her again. I do have one question, though. If she wins, does that make Bill the First Lady?

The Bottom Line: Toughest on immigration gets my vote!

Brittany Spears' Little Sister

I just couldn't resist throwing her into the mix. I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about. She's just another pregnant teenager out of thousands more who will be on the welfare dole before she's old enough to drive. Sad, sickening, but not newsworthy.

The Bottom Line: If you're the little sister of a trainwreck like Brittany Spears, is it really any wonder that you get knocked up?

First issue: 6-18-07

In this issue:

The War

The Immigration Bill

Global Warming (and Al Gore)

The Presidential Candidates

Paris Hilton

The War

Some claim it's about oil, others say we're trying to inflict our Western views on a culture that's existed for thousands of years. What everyone seems to forget is that we're there to find and kill our enemies before they can kill us! Remember 9-11? The destruction of the Twin Towers and the deaths of thousands of Americans and other citizens from around the world? I thought so.

What really irritates me is when people say that if we go home, the fighting will stop. Are these people on crack? Have they not studied history? These people have been bombing each other (and their own people) for decades! Some of the fanatics may use the US as a scapegoat, but the fact is, when we go home, they'll just go back to bombing each other instead of us. And what's this nonsense about diplomatic talks with Iran? These are people who strap bombs to their own children! They have no conscience and no ethics. If they're so full of hatred that they're willing to blow up their own flesh and blood, why do we think they'll honor any kind of a treaty with strangers? They think they're doing a service to God by killing us, and no treaty is going to stop them. You just can't reason with people who are blinded by hatred.

What about a timetable? That would be nice, but I have to agree with Bush. Our enemies would just sit tight until we pulled out, then go back to annihilating innocent people. Now don't get me wrong. I want to get out of there as soon as possible. If the war ended tomorrow, I'd be jumping for joy! But we need to finish what we started. I don't like the war. I wish we weren't in it. But as long as it's fought over there, it's not on our own soil. People seem to forget that.

The bottom line: Finish fast and get home soon! But don't leave before the job's done.

The Immigration Bill

If this thing passes, it's the end of America as we know it! What is Congress thinking? What was Bush thinking? You can't solve a problem by legalizing it! It's like saying that there's too much rape, so we'll just make rape legal and then it won't be a problem. How stupid. Why reward people for breaking the law? The fact that Congress refused to add an amendment that would send the criminals back to their own countries tells you that these people are idiots!

I know a lot of immigrants are looking for the chance to make a better lives for themselves. But a lot of them are also looking for a free meal. How many illegal immigrants are crowding our welfare rolls? We have enough born-and-bred Americans scamming the system. Why let a whole new crop come in and steal our tax dollars? How is it fair that some people give up half their income in taxes to support a bunch of lazy people who just want to have more kids so they can get more food stamps? And how do these people get benefits anyway? With illegal documents?

I'm all for immigration. My great-grandparents were immigrants, and I'm grateful for that, or I'd be a potato farmer in the Ukraine somewhere. But they did it legally. There are thousands of people who want to come to this country the legal way, so why let those who broke the law get special treatment? And what's all this nonsense about making them pay a fine and register and so forth? They didn't honor our laws to begin with, so why on earth does anyone think they'll honor any new laws?

I've been to Mexico. It wasn't that great. I didn't even see the really poor areas. If I lived there, I'd want to move to the US, too. So why not make it easier for the people who want to come here legally to do so?

Here's my solution:

1. Secure the borders so no more of them can sneak in. Build that 700 mile fence we're supposed to be building.

2. Make it easier to become a legal citizen so that those who want to come here for a better life can do so without having to break our laws.

3. Send all the criminals back to their own countries. Why should we have to pay to feed and house them in our jails? Let their own countries deal with them!

4. Annex Mexico. Then it won't be a problem anymore. Just joking!

The Bottom Line: Let's make it easier for legitimate people to come here, and harder for those who are only looking to scam off our welfare system and commit crimes against Americans.

Global Warming

The left says we're killing the planet. The right says it's all hype. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. I don't believe that the human race can single-handedly destroy the planet. We can destroy huge sections of it, but I don't think we can destroy the whole thing. Back in the 70's, they were predicting another ice age. Now it's a meltdown. Now the Bible does say that the earth will be destroyed by fire, so maybe we're trying to stop the inevitable. On the other hand, a single volcanic eruption could be the end of life as we know it. As for me, I'm cutting back the best I can. But I'm not going to feel guilty if I can't afford compact florescent lights for every fixture in my house. And I'm not going to feel guilty if I have to make an extra trip into town now and then.

But let me discuss Al Gore for a moment. I have not felt so much disgust for a person since his predecessor Bill Clinton. Clinton was an idiot and a pervert. Al Gore is just a big phony. A hypocrite. A hypocritical phony. I can't stand the sight of the man. Why not? He flies around in his private jet telling people that they're killing the planet with their incandescent light bulbs. Every light bulb I use from the day I'm born till the day I die will not impact the planet as much as a single one of his private jet excursions. I guess he's too good for commercial like everyone else. He wants people to carpool and hoof it while he lives in a 35,000 square foot house that sucks up more energy than any other private residence in the area. He claims that since he buys "carbon offsets" that makes it okay. What is a "carbon offset" anyway? And he buys them from HIMSELF, so what difference does that make? He thinks that because he plants a few trees in the Amazon somewhere that he can live any way he wants. And that would be just fine if he didn't try to guilt-trip the rest of the country into making sacrifices and changes that he's not willing to make himself! What a scumbag.

The Bottom Line: Reduce, reuse, recycle. And Al Gore sucks.

The Presidential Candidates

Here is my take on the main candidates.

Rudy Guilliani: If he could clean up New York, maybe he could clean up the country. His personal life is a disaster. I would definitely consider voting for him anyway.

Fred Thomas: Seems like a nice guy, attends the same kind of church I do, love him on Law & Order. However, I need to know more about where he stands on the issues before I give him my support.

Barach Obama: Seems like a nice guy, but I think his connections to a black separatist church could really hurt him. And I don't think he'll get as much of the black vote as he'd like to, because it's been said (idiotically) that he's not "black enough." In other words, he decided to make something of himself rather than wallow around in self-pity and blame The White Man for all his problems. If a Democrat were to win, I'd want it to be him, because he seems like a good person.

Hillary Clinton: You have to know I hate her! And she'll probably be our next President! Here is what I don't like about Hillary, and why I would never vote for her, even if her political views matched mine exactly. She has allowed herself to be subjected time and time again to public humiliation by her lecherous husband. If she doesn't have the guts to get out of such an abusive relationship, then how on earth is she ever going to be strong enough to lead the country? If she doesn't even care about herself, then how is she going to care about the nation? I say good riddance to her. When she grows a backbone, I might change my opinion of her, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

Al Gore: I know he hasn't tossed his hat in the ring yet, but you know he's going to. He'll (try to) ride in like a white knight and save the day. I'd vote for Hillary before I'd vote for him. Or just move to Canada. I'll bet they'd let me use incandescent light bulbs up there! They need all the warmth they can get!

The Bottom Line: Let's hope we aren't subjected to another Clinton administration!

Paris Hilton

I just couldn't resist throwing her into the mix. I feel really sorry for her. Not because she got thrown in jail for breaking the law (twice), but because her parents never saw fit to teach her how to be a responsible citizen. Let's hope jail will teach her what her parents didn't.

The Bottom Line: If you're a multi-millionaire, take the time to teach your kids some responsibility or else they'll have to learn the hard way.

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