Month Five: Your ModelYou will scour People magazine for pictures of people who were pregnant. You will notice that models have babies late and suddenly you will feel like you have a lot in common with Cindy Crawford and Liz Hurley. You will tell your friend who will not stop looking at your thighs that Liz Hurley got huge. You will notice that models book a cover shoot for themselves three months after the baby is due so that they have incentive to get back into shape. You will decide you need incentive, but you will not be able to book a cover shoot. You will think about incentive. There will be no incentive that is similarly as large as having your body plastered across newsstands. But then you will notice that Liz Hurley posed with her son, and used him to cover her body. You will have hope. And will you realize that God makes women fat so that they look forward to having the baby to tote around.
Month Six: Your Outbursts | Your Mucus |