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2ACV19: The Cryonic Woman
First UK airing: Sky One, 8:30pm, 21-1-01
"All right, all right. If it'll
make you happy, I'll overthrow society."
Huh.
Imagine that, through some incredible piece of good
fortune, you're one of the writers for Futurama.
Now imagine that, as a result of the regular meetings in which
story ideas are devised, you get the task of coming up with a
story based on this high concept: Fry's ex-girlfriend from the
20th century ends up meeting him again in the 31st.
There are two ways you could go with that. Firstly,
you could use it as a way to show how Fry has changed since the
pilot episode (which he has, a bit) by using Michelle as a mirror
that lets him see how much better off he is in the 31st century.
Or you could string together a bunch of 'isn't Fry a moron!'
gags into a plotline as painfully forced as The Simpsons at its
recent worst.
Oh dear, they went for Option B.
My favourite episodes of Futurama
are the ones that treat the characters with a bit of respect
and let the comedy develop naturally from the situation of the
week, however odd it may be ('Put Your Head On My Shoulders',
'My Three Suns', 'A Flight To Remember', 'I Second That Emotion',
'Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love?') -- these are episodes
that stand up to multiple viewings. My least favourite
episodes are the 'jam in the jokes and to hell with the characters'
shows ('A Big Piece Of Garbage', 'Mars University', 'Fry And
The Slurm Factory', 'Bender Gets Made') -- after you've seen
them once, to quote Morrissey, that joke isn't funny any more.
Until now, the only exception I've found to the latter is 'Fear
Of A Bot Planet', which won out purely for all the geek references.
Unfortunately, 'The Cryonic Woman' is not an exception.
The first half of the show -- literally, since Michelle
didn't appear until almost the midway point -- was contrived
and not even very funny. What's the point of sacking OFC? We
all know they'll be back on the job next week. It all seemed
a rather overblown way to get Fry to the cryonics lab. Speaking
of which; paying lip service to continuity is one thing, but
was anyone out there really dying to see the cryonics
lab team again? Hey, it's Futurama's
version of Voyager's 'Irish village' holoprogram! Nobody likes
it, but here's another helping anyway! (And for all the continuity
references, Fry still got the year wrong, saying it's 3000 (twice!)
when as we all know it's now 3001, Futurama
time, as 2ACV18 proved.) The end result was that the whole first
half of the episode was a series of 'Fry's a moron'/'Bender's
irresponsible and malicious' jokes, which rapidly became overkill.
Imagine seeing a stand-up comic whose entire act had him alternating
between rapid-fire knock-knock and mother-in-law jokes. Somebody
would be dead before the end of the performance.
Then, once Michelle did appear, the 'Bender's
irresponsible and malicious' jokes were replaced by future shock
gags (cf: 'Space Pilot 3000', 'The Series Has Landed' -- in other
words, some of Futurama's best
episodes). The giant roach sight gag was funny, admittedly,
but Fry very quickly, and predictably, became a doormat for Michelle.
Then they went to the year '4000' and... uh-oh, another long
and joke-free runaround sequence, as seen in 'Slurm Factory'.
Impressive CGI is one thing, but IT'S NOT FUNNY!
Then there was the amount of time given to Pauley
Shore -- the very poor man sleeping in a doorway's Adam Sandler.
Maybe he's still huge in the States, but here in the UK, the
only thing that Bio-Dome is known for is that it co-starred Kylie
Minogue. ("Kylie who?" a lot of you will be saying.
Ha! Britain and America might have a lot in common, but their
pop culture's still very different.) So, over here, every second
of Pauley Shore was a second wasted. And since I know
a bit about American pop culture, I suspect quite a few Fox viewers
might agree.
It might just be a coincidence, but just as 'Fry And
The Slurm Factory' (my previous least-favourite episode) marked
the end of the 1ACV production block, 'The Cryonic Woman' rounded
off the 2ACV series. Obviously everybody was burned out at the
end of the year's run, which doesn't bode that well for 3ACV22.
Prove me wrong, guys! As for 2ACV19... cheap jokes, no character
work, lame plot, humourless CGI sequences, Pauley Shore. There's
only one thing that can be said. It's a line from another show,
but it applies here. "Worst episode ever."
Rating: 
PS: More for the as-yet hypothetical
Death Tote Board -- I counted 13 people under the Leaning Tower
of Pisa when Bender knocked it over. That's 16 people he's killed
in just the first three episodes of the season!
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