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What does Amy Wong have to say for herself? All of this, actually.
She might not get as many lines as Fry, Bender and Leela, but
she's certainly a lot more chatty than Hermes or Dr Zoidberg.
Read on and discover all of Amy's words of wisdom. Or otherwise.
[NB: The count/running count of Amy's lines is based
on blocks of dialogue, not sounds (like cheers) or individual
sentences.]
Want to hear quotes from Amy? Then click here
to visit Amy Wong MP3 Futurama Sound-O-Rama,
which has absolutely no connection with this site at all, no
really, honest, Mr GeoCities. And don't forget, if you play Unreal
Tournament then you absolutely have to download Stoerenfried's
fantastic Amy Wong Voicepack from there too! Riddle your
enemies with flak cannon shrapnel, then hear your character ask,
"Does it hurt when I go like this?" It's a miracle
of modern science!
Amy wasn't introduced into the series until the second episode;
hence, she doesn't have a lot to say in Futurama's pilot. However,
she did have the sort-of honour of being the second of the regular
characters (after Fry) to appear onscreen, during the title sequence.
(There's a trivia question for you.)
Line Count: 0/0
"Okay."
"Does it hurt when I go like this?"
"Hey, you're the unfrozen guy, from the 20th century, right?"
"Look, we're not as rich as everybody says."
"Kappa Kappa Wong."
"Ah! I love stuff like the Moon! Can I come, Leela?"
"G'uh! It's the happiest place orbiting Earth."
"Ya-hey!"
"Aye-aye, captain. I mean only one eye. I mean, yes sir.
Um, ma'am."
"Clear?"
"Ready to hoist?"
"Ow!"
"Wow, I could swear I was really playing Virtual Skeeball!"
"Hmm?"
"Aaaihh! The keys to the ship! They must have fallen into
the crate! Ai ya, Leela's going to kill me!"
"Mister, could you please get those keys out for me?"
[Untranslateable pseudo-Oriental curse]
"Auh!"
"Shut up! You're distracting me."
"I know how to make love."
"Uoohhh!"
"Wee-hee-ooh!"
Line Count: 16/16
"Waaah!"
"Hey."
"Aaa-aa-aagh!"
"Looks like both."
"Aw, come on!"
"Wee-hoo!"
"Aww!"
"Oh!"
"Oh my god! Bender, it's your thingy!"
[sniff] "Do you think Calculon's evil twin will ever walk
again?"
"Woaaah!"
Line Count: 5/21
"Ah, you're too picky."
"You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet
a guy and you think he's a pig, but then later on you realise
he actually has a really good body."
"Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places
to meet people."
"Mmm... I'll pick."
"Oh, wow! It's totally retro!"
"G'uh! Because nobody wears them any more! Rings are stupid."
"Shh! Don't let anyone hear you say that!"
"No -- he said they're stupid."
"So what do you think of that guy by the bar?"
"Are you sure?"
"This is Bolt Rollins. Bolt is a hypersled racer with ten
wins on the pro circuit."
"This is M-5438, an entity of pure energy."
"Huh! You're impossible."
"B'uh."
Line Count: 14/35
No sign of the pink-tracksuited hottie in this episode, sadly.
Line Count: 0/35
"Yeah! I mean, we all have commercials in our dreams, but
you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at
low low prices."
"No thanks."
"Agh!" [Untranslateable cursing]
"Hey, Bender. Great new sweater."
"Hey, you're springing for Lightspeeds? Pretty ritzy."
"Quiet! There's an ad coming on."
"G'uh! It's Mom, the world's most huggable industrialist."
"Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?"
"Cheers!"
"Yay!"
"Hmm?"
"That's true. On a TV like this, I bet you couldn't even
make out my obscene tattoo."
"I dunno. I've had cow."
"Ugh, gross! Ick! Ack! Aaghh!"
Line Count: 11/46
"Yeaachh!"
"Bender, is this salt water?"
"Ah, I don't think there's anything to worry about. These
people seem really mild-mannered."
"Aah!"
"Hi..." [giggle]
[Gasp]
"We've got to get the Emperor out of your body before they
kill you!"
"What about crying?"
"You did your best, Bender."
[Bursts into tears]
"Come on, Leela's not the type to hold a grudge."
"Is she coming?"
"Ooh!"
"Oh no! They have her totally outnumbered!"
"What are you talking about, Bender? She's mmmf mmf mmm
mmmf -- ohmmf."
"We only got two drops."
"Great! We're one-tenth of the way there."
"Uh! Ungh! Hnngh! Ughh! (pant) Okay, it's your turn."
Line Count: 13/59
Appears at the symposium but doesn't speak, despite Lauren Tom
being credited. Amy's lines were cut for time -- boo! They should
have cut out one of the unimportant characters. Like Fry, or
Leela.
Line Count: 0/59
"Good morning, Bender."
"What's his problem?"
"Yeah."
"All right..."
"Er..."
Line Count: 5/64
"Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck."
"I think I'll go and fill up on bisque at the buffet."
"Oh, yeaahhh... Oh!"
"Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?"
"He seems really nice, but... um.. well, I already have
a boyfriend."
"Err..."
"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Fry, my boyfriend."
"Mmmm..."
"Lean back more!"
"Hey, Fry."
"Leela!"
"Well, with Zapp gone and my parents still here, I suggest
Fry gives me a nice, convincing kiss."
"Hmmmm..."
"Weeey-hey!"
"Hooray for Hermes!"
"Mom! Dad! You're alive!"
"Oh, Mom, I don't -- hi..."
"Well, it's not me."
Line Count: 15/79
"Ah!"
"No! Nibbler!"
"Agh! Psst! Professor, I need another bikini!"
"There! How do I look?"
"French?"
"Cheese!"
"Aaaiiieee!"
"Check this out! Back in 1999, the season finale of 'Single
Female Lawyer' was interrupted by technical problems. Apparently
some zidiot spilled Coke on the transmitter."
"There aren't any copies left."
"Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt."
"O-kay... all set."
[Gasp]
"Hooray!"
"Yay-hey!"
Line Count: 11/90
"Yo, classmate! Whatcha taking?"
"Bo-ring. Let's hear about Walter Mondale already."
"Wow. Smart and cute."
"Dean Vernon, I'd like you to meet my parents, Leo and Inez."
Line Count: 4/94
"You should try some homeopathic medicine, Bender. Take
some zinc."
"Then take some echinasia, or St John's wort."
"Hey, that's my watch!"
"Wow."
"Hey, yeah. Fry, Leela and Bender are missing."
"Woaaghh!"
"For Slurms!"
Line Count: 6/100
"Hey, look at Nibbler!"
(sings) "What day is today/it's Nibbler's birthday/what
a day for a birthday/let's all have some cake."
"Bender, how could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?"
"It's like he doesn't understand simple humanoid emotions."
"Er, that's me."
"Bingo!"
"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? You should get youself
a puppy."
"Um, Leela... Armando and I are going to the back seat of
his car for coffee. Are you going to be all right here by yourself?"
"Are you crazy? There's mutants down there! They'll eat
you alive!"
"Mm-hmm."
Line Count: 9/109
What, no Amy? Mind you, this way the writers could avoid any
awkward situations if Amy happened to run into wannabe-boyfriend
Kif...
Line Count: 0/109
"Chuh. Only weirdos and mutants join third parties."
"So is it true you can make all kinds of shirts and ropes
out of hemp?"
"I also heard hemp makes great shampoo."
"Um..."
"Aaaagh!"
Line Count: 3/112
"You poor man. What happened to you?"
"Oh. Excuse me."
"Hello there."
"Ow!"
"Aaiiieeeaaa-ugh!"
"Fl'uh. She's an orphan."
"I'll do it for you. Ungh!"
"Where're you going, Bender?"
"You can't stay out on Xmas Eve -- you'll be killed!"
"If he catches you after dark, he'll chop off your head
and stuff your neck full of toys from his sack of horrors!"
"Hey, it's Leela!"
"Oh, that's so sweet... but I sold my hair to a wigmaker
so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes."
[Gasp]
"Aaiieeeee!"
"Rudolph's nose!"
"Aaiiiiiiiieeeee!"
(sings) "He knows when you are sleeping..."
"Yaayy!"
Line Count: 12/124
"And Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't even
close. And that doesn't even make sense."
"Hey, who's up for a nice hot steam?"
"Psst! Look what life was like before genetic engineering."
"Hey, handsome. Is there room in there for two?"
"Huhaughh!"
"Mmmngh!"
"Aaaaiiigh!"
"Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more
times, shame on me."
"I'll do it!"
"Dr Zoidberg said I should hold these while he's gone."
"Aiiiiiiiia!"
Line Count: 7/131
"That's Bender all right."
"Nn-uh."
"Oooooh!"
"And huge!"
"Wow. When I was a little girl on Mars I dreamed of being
Miss Universe."
"Oh, come on, Leela. Deep down, all girls want to be Miss
Universe."
"Really? Maybe it's just cute girls."
Line Count: 5/136
"Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got
all Bs, they'd buy me a bar. And I got all Cs!"
"Oh!"
"That's an awful lot of eagle."
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, don't be sad. My parents are paying and they're incredibly
rich."
"Smeesh, Leela! This car has everything a be-oo-ti-ful woman
like me needs! Veeec-tor said so!"
"Sixty thousand!"
"I thought it was an auction!"
"I'm sorry... eighty thousand?"
"Uh-oh. I'm terrible at parallel parking."
"Hey, I'm taking my new car out for a spin to Mercury. Anybody
want to come?"
"The usual. Boiling lead, oceans of lava..."
"Hey, how about some icy margueritas?"
"Don't worry! I'll hit the fuel guzzler!"
"Ooah!"
"It's okay. I have an emergency phone."
"Spl'uh. It's a videophone."
"Lucky I'm a member of the Austro-Afro-Antarctico-Amer-Asian
Auto Association. Hello, Septuple-A?"
"Uohh, it'll be a couple of hours. Oh, I'm gonna get sweat
on my sweatsuit."
"I guess 'cause my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike.
Huh, as though."
[Snort] "Yeah. And if you were the Pope, they'd be all 'Straighten
your Pope hat' and 'Put on your good vestments'."
[Giggle] "Y'know, Fry, it's nice to find someone I can talk
to about stuff and junk."
"So while they're towing us, you want to do it?"
"No."
"No."
"Yep."
"We ran out of fuel on Mercury and... one thing led to another."
[Snorty giggle]
[Giggle]
"I 'unno."
"Mmmm!"
"Nghuh, yeah. Hey, later, you want to drive out to Europa?
We could have a picnic and spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter."
"Yeah. You know, Fry, I really like hanging out with you."
"Hi."
"So, ready for a secluded picnic with just you and me?"
"No. So Fry, you busy tomorrow? I got two tickets to the
big ape fight."
"Okay, sure. So, what do you want to do for Valentine's
Day?"
"But you just said-"
"Woooh!"
"Huh? You don't like chocolate?"
"Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together,
Fry."
"Fry!"
"So, what was it you wanted to talk about before we crashed,
anyway?"
"You're breaking up with me?"
"But I was really having fun! Ahh... if that's how you feel..."
"Well... whatever. Hey, listen, as long as we're not seeing
each other, you mind if I ask someone else out for Valentine's
Day?"
"I mean, unless it'd make you feel bad, being a third wheel."
"With my body, I think you might only attract one
sort of woman."
[Assorted ping-pong grunts and gasps]
"Oh. No problem." [Singing in Martian]
[Very irate singing in Martian]
"Okay Fry, we're done putting on the bra."
"What business is it of yours?"
"This is deodorant."
"Come on in, Gary! I'll just be another 20 minutes."
"Yeah, but it's good to make them wait a little."
"Thanks."
"Uh-uh."
"I don't really like coffee."
"Ooh, I feel a little tipsy."
"We were just on our way out."
"Oaauuhh."
"It's okay. I had fun! And if I ever feel lonely, I can
just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you."
Line Count: 54/191
"So how was the Spleef Nebula?"
"Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo."
"Yay!"
"Gu'ck. I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious."
"All right."
"Bender, you can't be an ultimate robot fighter! It's the
most brutal form of competition in the galaxy!"
"Weee-heey!"
"Here, Professor, I got you a programme."
"Fry, where's your brain slug?"
Line Count: 7/198
"Uhh! Aah! Uaah! Aaaaughh!"
"Wha? Hey, that's me!"
"Eww. That is so gross."
"Yeaaah!"
"Hrrmngh."
"Oooagh!"
"Congratulations, Leela!"
"My God!"
"Wooo-wooo-wooo!"
Line count: 5/203
"Happy birthday! Surprise!"
"Oooh!"
"Yesh he would."
"G'uh!"
"Ugh."
"Yough wish."
"Oh no!"
"Yeah!"
"What was it like?"
"Uuuagh!"
Line count: 7/210
"Aaaahh!"
"I can't figure out why she's so nice to you, Fry."
"Yeah!"
"Why?"
"Okay, thank you."
"Mm-hmm."
[Gasp]
"Yeeee-hooo!"
"He's back!"
"That's okay, Hermes. At least we have you back."
[An unintelligible cheer]
"Yeah!"
Line count: 7/217
"Yeah!"
"Oh, so this is where you shop for your boots."
"Aaaiiiieeahh! Sunburn! My fabulous body, it's ruined! What
happened to my parasol?"
"Hrmmnn!"
"Well, it didn't work! Hrmn!"
"It's coming up!"
[Gasp]
"Wooaaaaaaiiigh!"
"Waaah! We're all going to die!"
"Woooo!"
"Yaaaiigh!"
"K'huh. You think you saw a mermaid?"
"Sure she did."
"Yes. Stop asking."
"Oooohh!"
"Ai ya! [Martian exclamation], dude! An ancient sunken city!"
"Wow!"
"So Fry, Atlanta was an American city in your time?"
"Later."
[Gasp]
"Fry!"
"What about Umbriel?"
"Trouble in bed."
Line count: 16/233
"Leela! We're right here!"
"All right!"
"What's it made of?"
"Are you doing all right over there, Leela?"
"Uh-huh."
"A bill?"
"He's so polite!"
"Wheee!"
"Leela, a little help is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Like maybe I could do your makeup?"
Line count: 7/240
[Gasp]
"Ow! What's going on around here?"
"Really?"
[Gasp]
"What happens if the fire goes out?"
"Ohhewww!"
"The Professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How
are we going to get there without a hovercar?"
"Wow!"
"Aaiiieeee!"
[Gasp]
"Yaaaaiiiiiiiii!"
"Hooray!"
"Way to go, Professor! The plan worked!"
Line count: 7/247
"Ewwwww!"
"You sure picked it."
"Why?"
"Leela, maybe you should lie down."
[Gasp]
"That's her name, Philip."
"We're doomed!"
[An indeterminate (Martian?) toast]
[Gasp]
"Oh."
"Can I have a fluke?"
Line count: 7/255
"Wow."
"Well, there goes the neighbourhood."
"There goes another neighbourhood."
"Heh heh heh ha hah!"
"Wow, sporty go-kart, Leela! So hip and sexy, not like you
at all."
"No."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiggghhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Right on, Professor."
Line count: 6/261
"It's from the list of words you almost never say."
"Quit it!"
Line count: 2/263
"Oh no! Somebody he knew must have died!"
"Maybe he has! Look at these tracks!"
"Yaaaiiii!"
Line count: 2/265
"Oh no! [Martian exclamation]"
"Aiiiiiiiigh- ooof!"
"Woooaaaiiiiiiii... ...aaaaaaiiiiiioooooooh!"
[Some indecypherable chit-chat with Zoidberg that starts with
"Hey..."]
"Great!"
"I'm from Mars."
Line count: 3/268
"Yeah!"
"Oh no!"
"Those were toenail clippings."
"Hey, that's my cellphone!"
"Hello?"
"Hello? Who is this?"
"Hello? Hello? Ai ya!"
"Some guy's been calling and hanging up ten times a day
for a year."
"I just wish a decent guy would call me, instead of this
spleezeball who has me too terrified to even answer the phone."
"Hello?"
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"Call me."
"Please, Leela? Kif's like the sweetest guy who's ever liked
me."
"Kif, you're so quiet. You haven't said a word all night."
"'Cause I was really hoping we could talk and stuff."
"What!?"
"Kif!"
"Ohhh... that's so emotional."
"Aah! Aaih! Aaauh!"
"Aaaaaaaaaiighhhhh!"
"It's always a line with you!"
"What is it?"
"Ah!"
"Ahhh-aaah-aaaaghhh!"
"This women-only planet is sounding better and better."
"You all obey a big computer?"
"Should we do something?"
[Something whispered about men and sex]
[Gasp!]
"Really? Honest and true?"
"Ohh, Kif!"
[A threat in Martian -- which I've been told by FrysGIRL sounded
like the Cantonese for "I'll kick your ass"!]
"Me next snu-snu! Out me way!"
"Ah! Kif, jump!"
[Panicked gasping]
"[Giggle] It sure was."
[A suggestive whisper]
Line count: 29/297
[Gasp]
"Gross!"
"Oooh! It's gorgeous! That place used to be a big dump."
"Worms? Ewww! Pukeatronic!"
"Aye aye."
"Leela? You should really try a facial scrub for your pores."
"Aaaaaaaiiiiiihh!"
"Okay, Professor."
"Aaaaaaaaiii!"
"Aaagh! Aaaagh! Aaaiiiaaaiiooohoooh!"
"Waaaaiii!"
"Look! They're jazzercising Fry's muscles!"
"All right!"
"Ow! Ow ow ow ow -- oh, I'm okay."
Line count: 9/306
"Wooh-aaaaiiiighhhhhh!"
"We're also Santa Claus!"
"Waaaaaaaah!"
"No power."
Line count: 2/308
"So whatever happened to this seven-leafed clover?"
Line count: 1/309
Not even the tiniest hint of Amy this week! Boo!
Line count: 0/309
"My javelin, too! It's ruined! Now we'll never beat Jupiter
State!"
"Wait a minute! Bender, what did you just do to the Professor?"
"Ah-hah!"
"What tapes?"
[Gasp!]
"Oh!"
"You remember your own birth?"
"Woo-hoo!"
"Wooh! Let's go live it up -- waaaagh!"
"I'll say."
"No, Bender! The other way!"
Line count: 8/317
"Is Nibbler stoked for the big pet show?"
"Come on, Nibbler!"
[Gasp!]
"No! Let's buy internet stock!"
"Yeeeeeeeeee!"
"Ummmmm..."
[Snoring]
Line count: 3/320
Amy was definitely heard laughing in the scene where the crew
was watching the Harold Zoid holomovie -- hey, I listen
for these things -- but Lauren didn't get a credit for this episode.
No wonder the SAG wants to go on strike...
Line count: 0/320
"I think cosmetic surgery's great, Leela. I used to be too
cute, so I had cuteness reduction surgery here, and here."
"Right on!"
[Gasp!]
[Gasp!]
"Leela, those eyes look so great on you!"
"Ah, no."
"Oh, they're so cute! What are their names?"
"Sploops!"
"D'uh."
"Eeuuurghh!"
Line count: 7/327
"Hi, Dad! It's me and my co-workers!"
"Hup! [gasp] Hey, Betsy!"
"This is my sweet little Betsy! I raised her from a larva
that ate one of my sweaters."
"Dad! Gleesh! Please don't say things like that when you
meet my boyfriend tonight."
[Kiss] "Mmmm."
"RJ, this is my boyfriend, Kif."
"Just relax, I'm sure my parents will love you."
"Mom, Dad, you remember Kif."
"He's not scrawny! He's just... small-boned."
"Wrong way."
"Look on the bright side. My parents left after you passed
out, so they didn't even see you barf."
"It's okay, Kif. I'll go get you a tissue from your tote."
[Giggles]
"Don't worry, Daddy. It'll be okay."
"They're not your parents, I'm not your sister,
and that's not your golf cart!"
"Everybody just calm down. Kif promised he'd catch the rustlers."
"No, Kif! It's too risky! You don't have to do this to prove
your manliness!"
"You're looking at her. Betsy's the only one left. She was
curled up in my hamper when the storm hit."
"Awwww... she likes you!"
"Surprise!"
"I forgot to give you something before you left."
"Mm-mmm!" [kiss]
"Is that your camouflage reflex, or are you just happy to
see me?"
"But you still have them, right?"
"Ahhh, it's a wonderful night."
"I can't."
"Mmm... Mmm, hmmmm!" [kissy-slurpy noises]
"Ah! What's that?"
"The buggalo! They're in the crater!"
"Oh, Kif! You're so brave!"
"Are you sure there's no other way to get the buggalo out?"
"Well, actually-"
"Kif, you did it! But how did you know the dynamite would
work?"
"Aaaaaaiiiiiaaaaaiiiiaaaaaghhhhhh!"
"Uurhhf!"
"Huh?"
[Gasp!]
"Uh-huh! Amy Wong. And you are?"
"Wait! I'm too rich to be kidnapped!"
"I'm fine."
"Huooooaaaaiiieeeiiiiii!"
"Aaaaoooo! Aaaauuooo! Aauuuooh! Aaaaiiii!"
"Kif!" [gasp!] "You're flying Betsy!"
"Yayy!"
"You know, if you still want your land, we could just trade
back for it."
"Then Kif flew Betsy, rescued me from the tornado, and made
peace with the Martians."
"Thanks for saving my life, Kif. You're my hero."
"Well, globviously. But if they liked you, then I
wouldn't! Don't you know anything about girls?"
Line count: 39/366
"Huzzah."
[Horrified gasp!]
"Bender! You should be more ashamed of yourself than usual."
[An expression of relief I couldn't make out because everyone
else was talking -- cheers, Zoidberg!]
"God!"
"Ew..."
"Aww, he looks like a little insane drunken angel."
"Yikes!"
"No!"
"Hurray!"
"Eeurghchh!"
Line count: 8/374
Brief appearances, but no words for the Martian princess of cute
this episode. And we had to wait two whole years for it too!
Line count: 0/374
"Oooh, neat!"
"Hey, the speedometer only goes up to 80. This thing can't
go faster than 80,000 miles an hour?"
"Go for it, Bender!"
"Oh, no!"
"Zoidberg, you idiot! My outfit, it's... it's..."
"Me too, now that I'm used to it."
"Yeah!"
"One bowl of jello knuckles, please."
"Oh, no! My beautiful money!"
"Bender, you're famous!"
"You'd better not do that at the concert."
"Euugh, you are so disgusting. I- aaahhh!"
"I've never seen pearls like this! Dr Zoidberg, you're amazing!"
"Well, let's earn some bread."
"Wooooo!"
"Waaaaaah!"
"Ooaaahh!"
"Aiiiaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!"
"Phew!"
Line count: 15/389
"Huh? Aaaaaagh!"
"Oooh!"
"Hi."
"Woow."
"What's causing it? Is it my outfit?"
"Professor, I hope you find out what's wrong before we skip
right past my birthd-"
"Hooray, look at all these presents!"
"Raaayyyy!"
"Yeeee-hoooo!"
"...no."
"Wa-heee!"
Line count: 5/394
"Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?"
"They have a college kid wear that to attract customers."
"Big deal."
"Oooh, that sounds cool!"
Line count: 4/398
"Yeee-heeee! Too much eyeliner!"
[Gasp!]
"Don't be upset, Leela. You, um... well, you look really
cute in your uniform!"
"Yeehoo!"
"Come on, Leela! You can do it!"
Line count: 3/401
"They don't leave much to the imagination."
"Woooh!"
"Surprise!"
"Bender was a truly special-"
"BENDER WAS A TRULY SPEC-"
[Cries]
"I know whose funeral we'll be attending next!"
Line count: 5/406
[Amazed gasp!]
[Tearful sobbing at not having won a Nobel Prize]
[Disgusted gasp!]
"You're not so bad yourself, big boy. Mmmmmm..."
"Bender, part of being human is having self-control."
"No, Bender!"
"Weee-hoooo! Yeah! Right!"
"Hnghh!"
[Stunned gasp!]
"Aaaiiiighh!"
"Yeah!"
"Go away! We're not giving you our quarters, no matter what!"
[Excited gasp!]
"Awww..."
[Annoyed grunting and gasping...] "Ooh!" [Pant, pant]
"Greetings, Leela! I'm the cute witch of the north!"
[Snort] "Abracaduh! Just ask the Professor! He lives in
the Emerald Laboratory down Martin Luther King Boulevard."
"The city council renamed it in 1975. Oooh, those are great
shoes."
"Do they come in women's sizes?"
Line count: 12/418
First episode of the season, and the only sign of Our Favourite
Martian is in the opening credits. What is this, season one?
Line count: 0/418
"Fry! We brought someone to cheer you up."
Line count: 1/419
"Here he is!"
"Oh, no..."
"Second!"
"Me too!"
[Inaudible rhubarbing]
"No, no, no..."
"Look, everyone wants to be like Germany. But do we really
have the pure strength of will?"
[Gasp!] "Oh no!"
[Sobbing] "It's so sad! Where will I go? What will I do?"
[Sobbing] "Oh, that'll be fun."
"Boooo!"
"Yeah!"
[Gasp!] "Oh no!"
"This stinks!"
"I'm even richer!"
"Aw, no..."
[Indecipherable Martian curse aimed at Fry]
Line count: 15/434
"Mmmm."
[Terrified gasp!]
[Nauseated gagging noises]
"Where does the other end come out?"
[Don't kill yourself Zoidberg gasp!]
[It was just ordinary water all along gasp!]
"I do!"
Line count: 2/436
"We-hooo, hah!"
"Woah-aaah!"
"Schman! The Great Rad Spot is mega-sweet for partyboarding!"
"Any calls while I was out?"
[Gasp!] "My Kiffy called?"
"Kif?"
"Why didn't you just leave a message, sweetie?"
"Bender!"
"Kif, don't cry. Or you'll get a tummy-ache."
"Ohhh!"
"You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there! You
could drop me off on the way!"
"Here I come, Kif!"
[Maniacal laughter]
"I don't care how much trouble I get in. I needed to feel
my lips pressed against your lipless beak."
"Mmmwah!"
"Here? But, uh... wouldn't it be crowded?"
[Giggles] "Kif! You have so much creativity and niceness.
But... I'm not sure if I-"
"Well, that probably won't happen this time."
[Gasp] "This is so beautiful."
"Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents
said I had too many ponies already!"
"Oh, Kif..."
"This isn't bad! My aunt had a place like this."
"Kif, I'd love to live with you... someday. But before then,
there's still lots I want to do on my own."
"What was that?"
"Look! Spirit!"
"Aah! [Running-away-fron-evil-holograms gasp!]
[Panting gasps!]
"Ooh!"
"Aaaaahhh!"
"Kif! Hold on!"
"Aaaah-oohhh-aaaagh!"
"Ough!"
"Phew!"
[Kif-is-pregnant gasp!]
"Yes, it's great. A great miracle..."
"Hey, yeah! I mean, what about that, Kif?"
"Look, Kif, I probably am the mother. Although maybe I'm
not. Of course I hope I am! But just in case I'm not, maybe we
should have a test."
"Whoah-ooahhh-oaahhh-oaaaaahhhh!"
"Oaaah!"
"Aaaaaaaaaah-oah!"
"That's okay. At least Kif's baby shower should be fun!
I'd better put it on my calendar."
[Glug-glug-glug]
"Mom, Dad... I know this is weird, but-"
"Yeah!"
"Er... they're already bronzed."
"Oooh! Is it a new partyboard?"
"You... you trashed my partyboard?"
"Yes, it's... it's... [sob] Noooo! I can't do this!"
[Runs off crying]
"Kiiiiiffffff!"
"Woaaow!"
"I still don't know if I'm ready for this, but... I do know
I love you, and I want to be here beside you."
"You can do it, Kif!"
[Just-witnessed-a-gooey-alien-birth gasp!]
"Shoo! Stay away from my babies!"
[Grunting and swatting]
"Yah! Hyahh!"
"I'll be ready then."
Line count: 36/472
"Yee-hah! Your parents must be so proud! Ooh, sorry."
[An impressed-sounding word I couldn't make out]
"Woah! Clool!"
"Hey Professor, what's all this scroop blorking out of the
machine?"
"All right! Way to go, Leela! Yeah! All right!"
Line count: 4/476
"Oooh, cool!"
"Romanticorp? Are they a corporation that makes romantic
stuff?"
"I do! Kif's given me dozens! Is it true what the ad says,
that you kiss them together out of blankey cloth and magic buttons?"
"Oh, cuuuute!"
Line count: 4/480
[Gasp!] "Are you off your rocket? Your parents are mutants!
It's illegal for them to come above ground 'cause they're inferior
genetic scum! Er, present company excluded, of course..."
Line count: 1/481
"If you want to do something, you do it! And to splick with
the consequences!"
[Giggles]
"Ooohoohoohoohh!"
"Hooo!"
"Ooh!"
"Yahey!"
"Oh no!"
"Aah!"
"Yaaaay hey hey hey! All right!"
Line count: 3/484
"Lassie is on display on the Louvre."
"Yyyyeh! Yah! Yarrgh! Ngghhh!"
"Aaaaooooooow!"
"Oww! Hyeghhh!"
"Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy? That's so adorable!"
"Yeheey!" [Neck-snapping crunch] "Augk!"
"Woah!"
"Aaaoaogh-aaahh!"
[Fossilised-dog-thrown-in-molten-lava gasp!]
"Don't!"
"Wooooagh!"
[Gasp!]
"Uh-aaah!"
Line count: 3/487
[Coughing] "Ohhh..."
"Mmnnhh..."
[Heat-exhausted gasp]
"Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist!"
"Poor Bender."
"Ooh! It's a party, apparently."
"Weeeooh-hooo!"
"Weee-heeeee!"
[Coughing and hacking]
Line count: 3/490
"Right on."
"Oh relax, Professor. Youthicizing is a trendy new spa treatment.
It's this season's shark-cartilage enema!"
"Aaaaaaghh!"
"Ech, agk, phack!"
"Professor, it worked! You look young enough to be my...
father."
[Gasp! Cry]
"Heee hee hyaah haaaa!"
"You stink! Ungh! Ah! Yah!"
"Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes until I get cute again,
I'm just gonna stay in my room!"
"Whooo! Way to go!"
"Ah, poo! We're even younger!"
"Yikes!"
"What's that squirmle under your shirt?"
"Aiiiiiiiii!"
"Yay! Yeehee! Yay!"
[Muffled] "Yay, a story!"
"Yaaaaay! Yay!"
[Baby crying]
[Just saw Zoidberg shrivel up and die hideously kind of crying!]
"Whooo-aaaah-uhh-aaaiiihh!"
[Gasping and spluttering]
"Oh, me too!" [wink]
Line count: 11/501
Not a word from sci-fi's hottest babe in this Very Special Episode
-- in fact, she didn't even appear. Poor Amy's suffering from
Mayweather Syndrome!
Line count: 0/501
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