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NEWS � Murder ! Feathers found � Ted's Terrific Top 10: "Things not to do in presence of the Queen" � Ted's Terrific Top 10: Signs the USA gov't is anti-cat TOP NEWS LIFE & FOOD AMEWSMENTS HOMEFRONT |
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| Name's Bond - Ted Bond | ||||||||||||||
| Teddy thinks he'd be a great super spy based on the size of his two eyes | ||||||||||||||
| Teddy swears he would make the best spy. In addition to his catlike skills of stealth and illusions of grandeur, he also has really big eyes. �You know that game espionage experts play while driving in their BMW convertibles? It�s called I Spy With My Little Eye?� Ted explains. �Well, I have two giant eyes. Therefore, I�d be most excellent as a spy.� The international spy guidebook does note the importance of having 20/20 eyesight, which might give Teddy problems, because on occasion he has trouble telling a threatening monster intruder from a wadded up sock on the floor. |
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| But Teddy says that doesn�t bother him. �I�m not so good at math and don�t know nuthin about 20 and 20. But I do have two big eyes.� That is a true statement. Ted's orbs measure about one-half inch in diameter, compared to Gizmo�s eyes, which are about one-third of an inch across (the other cats wouldn�t hold still long enough to get measured). Although Ted says he doesn�t need a fancy sports car, counter intelligence software, nor a bevy of buxom babes, he finds the prospect of a laser-beam cat collar enticing. �I mean, can you imagine it?� he says excitedly. �I could stand across the yard and blast the birds right outta the sky!� |
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