Pawprints Newslitter
Spring 2001 edition
Flowery chair transforms macho Marlowe into pussycat

  
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Buddies concerned:
feminine characteristics nice, but there is a limit
Marlowe has developed a complex after sleeping on an overstuffed chair with flower upholstery for more than a year.

At first, Marlowe thought he was in heaven after finding the perfect sleeping spot in the chair, which is placed in the corner of the office. It is very comfortable. And Marlowe hogs it. He won't let any other cat get near it. He is in the chair 24-7.

After more than a year sleeping in the flowery chair, however, he began feeling strange sensations.

He began getting really empathetic, like the time he caught a bird. When Marlowe looked in its frightened eyes, he felt the bird's fear and concern it might not ever see his family again. Of course, he ate the bird anyway, but the image of its look just before his jaws crushed its head haunted him for a day afterward.

"I thought I was just getting in touch with my feminine side by sleeping in the flowery chair, but I think the upholstery has really affected me," the cat said.

Last week, when Bette, the next door neighbor, looked out and saw Marlowe sunning himself in her backyard grass, she later knocked on the door to ask the cat was pregnant.

Of course, Marlowe is just fat, but Bette's question brought up the point that Marlowe has developed some tell-tale feminine features. He gait is much more dainty and he has been spending more time grooming himself to get his fur to lay just right and to accent a clean, shiny look.

Edgar Allan and Teddy have began to get concerned about the effects of the flowery chair. They have noticed that around the same day each month, Marlowe gets very moody and cranky, just like Mom.

"I mean he absolutely gets PMS," Teddy said. "The symptoms are undeniable. You can't even stay in the same room with him."

Edgar just has one word to describe what needs to happen in relation to the flowery chair: "Plaid," Edgar says. "We need to replace that prissly chair with a plaid LazyBoy quick-like!"
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