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Poetry /
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2 | Favorite Quotes |
I close
my eyes
I see myself
Standing alone
In a crowded room
There is silence
As a thousand people
Are talking to me
I see only darkness
Feel only cold
As the sun shines in
On my body
Tears roll down my cheeks
Past the smile on my face
I am screaming
But sounds of laughter
Escape my mouth
I can feel myself dying
While the music plays
And I dance |
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Darkness
The thick, black veil
That conceals all else
Heavy over your eyes
So that light can not break thru.
Leaving no hope, nor joy
Nor future to believe in.
Your eyes are blind
Unable to see anything worthwhile.
In this darkness there is no peace
As there is when the darkness of night falls
Upon normal people and sleep comes
Bringing with it ease and comfort.
This darkness is there always,
And brings with it despair and unrest,
It is there even when your eyes are wide open
And the sun is shining on your face.
Nothing can stop it.
It makes everything promising seem impossible,
Everything joyful turn grim.
You can escape it for a time,
but it is still there waiting.
For the escape is only a cruel joke it plays.
For when the darkness returns, it will prove itself.
It is stronger than any other emotion.
It is despair.
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INSANITY
My mind pulls me back and forth
from sanity to insanity,
joy, happiness, and hope are weak,
while Darkness, Despair, and Hopelessness stand strong.
The struggle has begun.
Now Death arrives…
refuses to retreat.
Calling me,
Taunting me,
Promising me.
The battle begins.
Self confidence, pride and future
All lay wounded,
Barely breathing,
Hardly noticeable,
The battle has ended….
The WAR is never ending. |
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Slow death
Constant thoughts racing,
Unable to concentrate…
Getting louder
Suffocating reality.
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Thoughts racing…
Why me?
Why again?
How will it end?
No real answers
Why won’t it end?
Searching for answers,
but never finding any,
Looking for the light,
but never truly seeing it.
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They look at me,
But don’t see.
I’m here!!!
But the illusion blinds them.
They listen to me,
But don’t hear.
I’m speaking!!!
But the words confuse them.
I am shouting!
But they are deaf.
I am screaming!
But they hear silence.
I am struggling!
But they see calm.
I am concealed by my illusion.
I am hiding behind my words
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He
He stands
strong
When I am weak.
He stays calm
When I lose control.
He is focused
When I can’t concentrate.
He sees the light
When I am in the dark.
He sees beauty
When I see ugliness.
He believes in me
When I have no hope.
Without him
I am truly lost. |
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The Road
My mind is racing,
My car is speeding,
Faster…
Faster…
My heart is pounding,
My tears are flowing,
Then the question….
Is this the answer?
Death?
My thoughts turn to
Children…
Family…
They are crying,
They are hurting,
Then the answer….
No.
I choose the pain.
I choose to fight. |
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Fear
My mind betrays me
I can’t stop the thoughts
Can’t Make them go away
I can’t think straight
I can’t concentrate
My work is failing
Everyday is a struggle
Convincing myself not to run
The thoughts consume me
Nobody really likes me
Does my husband really love me?
My head pounds
Can’t sleep
Can’t wake up
I hide from each new day
It will be just like the last
No hope…. |
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My first breath
Painted a beautiful picture
Of a white picket fence and
Flowers in the yard.
My mother’s death
Gave despair a new place
To call home.
My father’s lack of interest
Delivered abandonment to the door.
My first relationship
Was a party for weakness and shame.
My first marriage
Welcomed abuse and mistrust
Into the picture.
Trying to develop a career
Introduced me to incompetence
And failure followed.
Divorce brought with it a move
And a new home decorated in guilt.
A promising relationship began
With a bouquet of inferiority.
What I wanted and needed
Became unimportant,
Until all the feelings I had
Crammed down inside me,
Took over my mind and body
And suffocated me.
My last breath…. |
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It all starts
with a single thought
It begins as any other
But soon it is the only one there
It breeds more like it
Fear joins them
They take over my mind
My heart is pounding in my throat
I can’t breathe
I’m suffocating
There is a feeling of such unrest
That it drives me crazy
It takes over my body
I want to jump out of my skin
There is an urge to get out
Thoughts are racing
How do I make it stop
I have to get control
I need to make it go away
My hands feel cold
Sometimes tingly
I take deep breaths
I repeat in my mind, "I’m fine…I’m fine…I’m fine…"
I have to concentrate
I have to focus
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