Windows
I
I believe that
sometimes ghosts
haunt a place
old memories so
strong that just
somebody's pressence
will be enough to
set them in motion
especially on a
lazy summer afternoon
II
I don't know what
called me here
perhaps my feelings
of sadness depression
in my soul
I'm a thirty-five
years old man
that holds no future
and a past
that doesn't seem
to be my own
I guess I just
wondered aimlessly
lonely and lost
without hope
without any care
of my destination
until I find myself
sittingin the shade
staring aimlessly
in some long forgotten
retreat for me
somewhere in a
childhood so far
away from me
in a place close
to my house
a city park. . .
Garvin Park
III
A little boy
running free
under the trees
sun pleasantly warm
on his back
he couldn't be
no more than four
endless gales of laughter
look at me daddy
I'm running
it's his first time
out of the house
and the leaves
freshly fallen
crinkle under his feet
soft breezes blowing
his short hair about
IV
Fall
leaves bright red
on the trees
with flaming oranges
crisp browns
lemon yellows
and some pale greens
underneath
a second grader
scurries about
hunting for
different leaves
for school
a nippy wind
cools him
as he searches
for maple, sycamore
and oak leaves
finding an
occassional buckeye
or was it a
common acorn
in the air
the smell
of burning leaves
V
Spring
he's with his class
on a field trip
feeling a little
bit indignant
he knows his teacher
meant well but
he's walked here before
it's not like
he's totally helpless
just because he's
handicapped
he'll prove
to them and
won't complain
he sits and watches
the others play
tired out
but very proud
VI
Later on
a fifth grader
with his class
fishing at the
park's lake
he's borrowed
his dad's
rod and reel
not really knowing
how to fish
how hard could it be
it's a perfect day
a nice wind blowing
and the sun shining brightly
everything seems
so pure and new
invigorating
newly cut grass
and some flowers
freshen the air
he reaches back
and casts off the line
until the reel
flies off the rod
hopelessly tangling
the line
VII
Summer any year
during his childhood
he walks around the lake
with his brother and sister
just feeding off the sense
of renewal he gets
talking and laughing
as problems retreat
in the face of
pleasant company
he know it's
not far from home
but it seems
to be a different world
a different time. . .
VIII
Ghosts haunt
this mortal world
phantom laughter
sounds around me
of a young boy
growing up
not a care
in his world
occassionally
tears fall
as a broken heart
struggles to mend
as the windows
of the soul
are allowed to open
who knows
what might be
called up
the next time. . .
Paul Vernon Deffendall
September 4, 1996
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