legacy_march_13_1995 Legacy: March 13, 1995 All's quiet on the river that I call time perhaps I'm refueling for the next struggle the next advance as I learn more about myself and leave behind these poems my legacies to the future I've been writing these legacies now for ten years what ever I'm thinking about goes down in these stanzas a complete circle one action begets another action as my life and my God takes me forward into the future but there is always a rhythm in the voyages of a dreamer lately I've been remembering my youth and certain happy thoughts and sometimes I find myself reliving those seconds that have been too few I don't know maybe I'm foolish but I still believe in the goodness of mankind we are not damned by God whether or not we advance depends on us these thoughts these feelings feelings of love oh my Donna lifts me up in so many ways in her eyes I'm special to her I'm a hero how can I feel bad when she believes in me strange when I first started on the path that led to her I just knew she wouldn't understand why I needed her I couldn't admit to the guilt I felt to myself for the longest time but curiosity of how she was doing about if she still remembered me finally stimulated my courage so I could finally act I felt that if I could change just one thing correct one mistake life would be worth living I've made so many mistakes took so many bad decisions but now I'm not certain because if we can learn from our mistakes then the pain might be worth it God created us somewhat flawed (actually our ancestors caused this fall from grace) we don't like admitting when we're wrong much less doing anything to correct it I know that caused me to do some crazy things even when in my heart I knew I was making matters worse I've led an incredible life so far somebody up there likes me it must be God I've been given several second chances to make something of myself and to correct some major mistakes in my life I may get depress that I'm thirty-three and still don't have a family or even my own apartment but it will come my God is looking out for me I�m glad somebody is several questions need to be answered before I can move on yet I wonder why I am the way I am why do I fell this desire to help some people even when I know the ends do not justify the means in my life I�m placed at so many crossroads to point out the way that friends should go and yet I can not force the choice it must be free will I can recognize the special gifts that others hold and give them confidence in their own abilities oh well I can only hope to be a friend to everybody to spread my beliefs that everybody is special if we work together we can change the world make it into better place I may only be a dreamer with his dreams but I also believe in them and that is what matters as I sit here watching the ripples bounding and rebounding on the river that I call time Paul Vernon Deffendall March 13, 1995 PRIOR LEGACY NEXT LEGACY RETURN TO LEGACY PAGE