Legacy: November 20, 1994

Ripples on the river
of which I call time
changing reforming
endless reflections
of what could have been
and what might be

ghostly images of
a black-haired girl
called Donna
whose friendship I have
come to value
as I struggle to change
myself, my world
of darkness
and yet it also
contains the light
of love and hope

and those powers
that God grants me
whether or not
I want them

I care about things now
awareness fills my soul
of the needs of others

the needs of others
how can I help
them out when I
don't know enough
to be sure of the
course we should take

because we are in
this world together
and what effects someone
else will effect me
given time

and justice seems
to be blind, or
society is blind
to the misuse of power

whatever,
I am alone in
this quest of mine
seeking knowledge
seeking love
for myself
and for others

friendship love
the bond of closeness
now so important to me
as I grow older
as I grow wiser

reflecting back on it all
the path of which
I followed
and feeling regret
at some wrong decisions
missed opportunities
that I didn't recognize
in time to act on
but I have to believe
that there is someone in control
a higher power, a God
all of this is not
just random chaos
as some believe

no there is a God
with a sense of humor
look at me for example
what more proof is there
than some of the events
in my life

through it all I believed
in the power of God
close personal
and very real
who else opened
the doorways and
given me the second chances
with Donna and with college
that I have enjoyed

still I wish for 
more knowledge to
answer the deep questions
of the universe

some I have gained
in the course of my education
but the answers lead
to still more questions
and more proof in my mind
that there is a God
other ripples other thoughts
enter my mind now
of the gift of love
and the uncertainties
plaguing my heart

a somewhat bittersweet experience
as I miss her company
oh yes take the good
with the bad
but love shines bright
in the darkest of night
a special friend Donna
whose been my inspiration
for the past couple of years
whom I have come to love
once again in my heart

another roll of the dice
another play of the game
with joys and heartaches
and strange friendships
bridging the gap of time
and a child named Misty
figures into my life
bringing light into my darkness
with a brilliant smile
and an unwavering gaze
that speaks of her intelligence

where ever my future lies
I'll go willingly, eagerly
knowing that my future
rests in God's hands
and the hands of my friends
some known and some unknown
who will come and go as they please
but I will remember each
as the river of time
sweeps me ever onward
into the future

Paul Vernon Deffendall
November 20, 1994



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