14.“So...your mom’s got a new guy.” my best friend, Talena, said during lunch. She laid down on her back on the bench of the lunchroom table, scowling at everyone who looked like they might ask her to move. We’d been friends since third grade when a mutual friend introduced us, a friend that soon left to become “popular”, leaving us to suffer all alone. Which was fine by me, but I sensed that Talena wanted a larger group to hang out with than just me. “Can I come over to see him? Maybe he’s...”
“Interested in someone younger? Nah...he’s there for me.” I said, blushing. She shot up and stared at me slack-jawed.
“Your...you...Ryan!” she exclaimed, then settled down and started to eat her chips despondently. “Figures you’d get a guy before me. But he’s...in college isn’t he? And how did your mom take that?”
“Pretty well...we just can’t do anything in the house.” I started to pick apart my sandwich. Talena and I brought our own lunches, everyone else who was anyone seemed to have enough disposable income that buying the crap from the cafeteria was a viable option.
She smiled and hit me gently in the arm. “But you do anyway, right? I mean, come on, from what I’ve heard he’s fucking handsome! I know I would.”
“Talena....well, yeah we did.”
“So that’s why you dropped out of that art class.”
“I dropped out because of the old lady! I didn’t want to look at her wrinkly breasts for a whole week!” Some of the more popular people who had unwisely decided to sit at the end of our table started to gape at me.
“Sure...” she smiled knowingly. “But you’ve gotta introduce me to him, come on...please?” she begged, tugging on my sleeve.
I made her wait it out a couple of minutes, couldn’t let her think she had me under control, could I? “Fine. Just don’t try anything with him.” I admonished.
She shrugged. “As long as he doesn’t try anything with me, your guy toy is safe with me.”
I thought I could escape her before the last class of the day, of course, I conveniently forgot that we both had the same class last hour. So she followed me to my locker and stared at me sullenly. “You were trying to skip out on me.” she accused, tugging on her myriad of bracelets. A guy from the football team walked by and stared at her. That happened a lot, she was fluctuating between being labeled goth, glam, or just plain outsider. Her hair was currently growing out a failed attempt to dye it black, and her black nail polish had pretty much all chipped off. Right now she was in one of her little glam phases, but she hadn’t yet switched to the pastel “Princess” shirt set. She flicked him off and then smiled sweetly at me. “Come on, I promise I won’t do anything that’ll embarrass you.”“Talena, I just don’t want him to feel like he’s on display.” I said, gathering up the last of my books. She pouted and crossed her arms.
“Why? Fuck, if there was a hot guy staying at my house I’d show you!” She thought for a moment. “Well, after I’d made sure he was mine. You might steal him. But don’t worry about me! I really doubt that Jay’d give up you for me.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, then dug in my jeans for one of my pens. Then she wrote me a little note.
“‘I promise I won’t touch your guy.’ Gee Talena, that’s almost beautiful.” She shrugged. “Fine...just don’t stay too long, okay?”
I unlocked the door and then opened it, going in first. Talena trailed in behind. She might have talked like she was comfortable meeting just about anyone, but in reality she was really only talkative with me. Which was fine, I suppose. I didn’t expect that she’d say anything that would interest Jay.
He was sitting in the living room on the floor with a big bag in front of him. Wearing a skirt. He looked up and smiled a bit, the smile fading as he saw Talena. “Um, Jay? This is my friend Talena.” I said, pushing her forward a bit. She gave me an angry look and then smiled at him.
“Uh...Hi.” she said.
Jay shrugged and waved. “After I went to the dorm to get my stuff, Bobby and I went to the sex store.” he said and then gestured to the bag. Talena bit down on her lip and then grabbed my arm. We were always planning on going there and looking at all the kink, but there were these two old ladies who sat across the street and wrote down the names of the high schoolers who went in and called their parents. I guess they thought they were doing their part to encourage abstinence, it only resulted in a high dropout rate for girls. It was pretty much the only place in town you could get condoms.
“You went there!” Talena exclaimed, “Oh, you’ve got to sneak us in sometime! Ryan and I have always planned on going!” Jay looked at her like she was my girlfriend and then frowned at me. She understood immediately, “We’re just friends...never really did anything serious.” I nodded in agreement. There was that fumbling around in tenth grade, but that had never resulted in anything other than us avoiding each other for a few weeks. “What’d you get?”
He turned the bag over. All manner of sexual device spilled on the floor. Leather, metal, mesh, latex... Talena lost all of her shyness and started picking through the pile.
She held up a ball gag and smiled happily. “A ball gag! I always wanted one of those.” Jay smiled almost indulgently as she tried it on. After a few seconds she unclipped it and coughed. “Well, I didn’t want it for me.”
I sat down and soon we were all goofing off with what he’d bought. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if he wanted to use this stuff with me, and I winced when I found a collar and leash. He took it away. “That’s for my mom. I send my parents crap like that on their birthdays. Most of the time they appreciate it.” I tried to imagine what my mom would do if I gave her a... Talena held up a dildo and giggled.
“What’s this for? When you get lonely?” she asked, running her fingers over the curves. He laughed.
“That’s not as comfortable as you’d think it might be.” He took it away from her and held it flat on his hand. “Most guys don’t get this hard.” I didn’t know how he knew, seeing as he’d only had three. Talena was busy digging and soon found some nipple clips, chocolate body paint, and a huge grab-bag box of condoms.
“Ooh! Let’s see what these look like!” she suggested, running towards the kitchen to fill them with water. Soon we were having a condom balloon fight in the backyard, well, Talena and I were, Jay was sitting on the back step and smoking. Until Talena missed me and one hit him in the face that is.
Later on Talena went home and I helped Jay clean up his stuff. “Why’d you get all this anyway...it doesn’t sound like you use it.” I asked.“Hell, it scares the fuck out of the people behind the counter. I just went in there for some condoms. Bobby and I used to do that kind of shit...but I don’t know, after a while it just loses its appeal.”
“So you went there with Bobby?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Nothing more. Should I pursue it?
“If you love Bobby...I can understand that, I’ll just...”
He snorted. “You’ll just what? Walk away? You might say that now, but eventually you’d just crack and do something stupid.” Hazel confronted me. “I don’t love anyone.” Then he hefted the bag over his shoulder and headed up the stairs.
I stared after him. Did what I felt really constitute love? Was love an appreciation of the human form and thousands of sketches? Everything I had read about it said it wasn’t..
My mom came home a bit later. If she noticed all the broken condoms in the trash can she didn’t say anything. Dinner passed in silence, my mom was too tired, Jay was either too pissed off or too uninterested in anything that was going on to bring up anything that was worthy of conversation.I went up afterwards to take a shower. Usually I locked the door, but that night, for whatever reason, I forgot. So I was underneath a full spray when I heard the door open. At first I thought it was my mom getting towels or something, but my mom wouldn’t... Clothes were discarded, then the door opened. I had a dim view of exposed flesh before Jay slammed me against the wall of the shower. His hand covered my mouth. “If you want it, just nod your head.” Before I knew what I was doing, I did. He smiled and sank down to waist level, then attached himself to my cock. I barely even had time to get hard before I came in the back of his throat. He swallowed it all, kissed me deeply, then was gone. I sank down in the corner of the stall and tried to keep from crying. All these fucking mixed signals were killing me.
It took me an hour to get up the courage to knock on his door. And I mean, I stood in front of his door for an hour with my hand raised. Finally all the circulation in my arm died and it fell and hit the door. I wanted to just run back to my room and hide under my bed. But I stayed.I could only look at his face when he opened the door. His eyes were instantly drawn to the light still on in my mom’s room. His hair was still wet, I thought I could smell a vague bit of me from him, but I knew that those thoughts would only lead me to expect something that I didn’t... stared at him harder. Oh fuck. His hand caught mine and he drew me inside. “Bobby helped me pick this out.” he whispered in my ear, tongue trailing along the outer edge. He put my hand on his chest, I let it flow down his...my eyes rolled shut, it was...perfect. Silk...something so smooth that it just felt like water, like something that was barely there.
I pulled my hand away. “I don’t want to. Especially if there’s no love involved.” I said softly. He let his tongue dip down into the space underneath my chin. “Just...why did you pick me? Why did you want to fuck me?”
Eyes darker than they had ever been regarded me calmly. “You were the only one who seemed to find it uncomfortable being in the same room with me...it looked like you thought there was more to me than nudity and inspiration.” Pause as he impacted my lips. “But I may be completely wrong. You could be just as full of shit as Paige was...is.”
“Isn’t that the way Bobby is though?”
He stepped back from me and sighed, tapping his finger against his elbow. “Bobby is the only person that I can trust. I won’t spoil that with love, it’s easier to fuck and forget.” He grabbed both my hands and pulled me closer. “So help me forget.”
And my cock didn’t disagree.
He had the bedside lamp on, and it cast a shadow across his face. But that wasn’t what drew my attention. The deep red of his new nightgown totally held me in its sway. It was just above knee length, very tight, very...almost like a thin layer of blood. “Jay, I can’t keep on going like this.” Watched as he sat back on the bed, the gown going up further and revealing more flesh.
“Funny. I can.” He licked his lips slowly. “I’ve got a big box of condoms and no one to use it with.” He pouted. “Bobby’s always willing...” The gown slipped down again as he stood up and made like he was going to slip his skirt on and leave.
Before I knew it I had knocked him onto the bed and was busy mauling his lips, biting them until he had to beg to get me to stop. Slid my fingers underneath the straps of it, letting my hands touch his flesh...somehow it was still cold. Almost cadaver cold. He grabbed me and started to work my boxers off, all the while ripping my lips apart with vicious kisses full of lust and some malice I guess. At this point I didn’t give a fuck how he was feeling, I wanted to be in him so badly. He didn’t deny me.
Pulled up the silk, his flesh felt about the same as the fabric...but I didn’t fucking care. Grabbed one of the many different kinds of lube he had lined up along the bed stand, this one was in a red bottle, I don’t know, it wasn’t all the different from the others. Went back and found the box of condoms, randomly grabbed a glow in the dark one. He noticed and giggled. “Now you’ll have to wait for it to get charged up.” he whispered.
“I don’t like waiting.” I snarled, pushing his hands down. A small grin crossed his features.
“Yes, but it’s a waste of...oh....” he moaned and closed his eyes, thrashing about. My hand gently encircled his cock and teased unmercifully. He deserved all he got, the fucker.
“Just be quiet. I don’t want my mom hearing.” A small nod, he put a bit of the nightgown in his mouth and bit down. I let one of my hands continue stroking him while I coated the other with lube and then gently eased in one, then another. He jerked and tried to move, I leaned down hard on his stomach. “Want it?” He nodded. I pulled the condom on quickly, then removed my fingers.
“Mmmmph!” he squealed, his hands instantly going behind my back and pulling me down, his hips bucking up to meet every thrust. “Gods Ryan...just keep it...up...” he panted, grimacing as I bit down on his neck hard enough to draw blood. I lost myself in him, in all the sounds, the warmth, the total feeling of him around me and his body underneath me. For a moment I almost forgot that he had made no promises to care about me. That didn’t matter as he came and nearly screamed loud enough for my mom to hear. I came soon after and collapsed onto him, gasping for breath.
“We’re talking about this tomorrow.” I said quietly, then got up and left him there.