THE SNOW QUEENI. “Hear Her Calling You”
Drifting, floating, fluttering. Tried to press my face closer to the glass to better observe them. The snow continued to fall and accumulated in piles of failed attempts at flight outside the window. The most wonderful thing about it seemed to be that it was silent. Completely silent. I wished that I could watch them forever. But that was not to be.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’d never seen snow before.” Ryan said loudly behind me. He slapped my shoulder in what he termed an affectionate way.
“It’s beautiful, that’s all.” I whispered, hoping he would take the hint and leave.
“I bought you a present, why don’t you open that instead?!” he exclaimed, jumping up and down and making the house shake. I knew his face would crumple into a gross parody of a sad chimp if I said no, so I turned and paid attention to him.
“Ooh, where is it?!” I said in what I hoped would come off as being excited. He ran into the hallway and then ran back with a rather large bag. This he placed in front of me, then he moved off to another chair to observe my reaction after I opened it. Closed my eyes and tried to conjure up a surprised and happy face for after I opened it. My fingers traced the edges of the tissue paper, then pushed beyond. Fabric. I pulled it out.
A thong. Further exploration revealed more of them. And it wasn’t like it was something that could conceivably be comfortable...no, a string was all that came between the back and... I shuddered, then smiled weakly. Ryan beamed. “They were four for $12, so I bought you sixteen!” Yes, there were indeed sixteen. “Don’t you want to try them out Jay?” he said in a low voice. I guess it was supposed to sound seductive, except it lost something in the translation.
“Oh, I totally forgot to tell you, I have to do something...outside. But we can try them out tonight, okay?” I said quickly, kissing him on the cheek. Before he could say anything I was gone.
It wasn’t always like this. In the beginning it was just Ryan flirting with me as much as he possibly could, much to my embarrassment. I only gave in because...well, I really don’t know why I gave in. The sex certainly didn’t warrant it, but that was all our relationship consisted of. There weren’t any great conversations of note, most of them were along the lines of what we should do, or what kind of alcohol he should consume or not consume, depending on how many he had had before. He didn’t acknowledge me at all in public, which was just as well, since I wouldn’t have wanted it, even when I thought that I was smitten with him. Well, I guess I lied a bit there, he would acknowledge me in public, but only when he was really horny and couldn’t wait until we got home. I had seen the inside of way too many airplane bathrooms and roadside rest-stops for one person. And I really can’t say that I loved him. Yet here we were, two months along in a dead relationship, or at least one that I thought was dead, and...damn, my head hurt.This was supposed to be a vacation for me and me alone, so that I could figure out a way to let Ryan down easily and go on with my life. A rented house in the wilderness would be my refuge, but soon after everyone found out where I was going, they all invited themselves along. Ryan was mad that I hadn’t told him, so I had to play it off and pretend that it was all some surprise I had planned. Now I had to constantly dodge Amir and Bobby, and whoever they had brought over, plus try and avoid Ryan. It didn’t work. Paige hadn’t expressed any interest in coming, which at the time had seemed odd, since usually whenever everyone else decided to do something together, there was Paige. However, now that I think about it, it was probably because he knew that I was trying to escape.
When I looked up from the ashes of my last cigarette, I realized that it was dark outside already. Sighed. Ryan would expect sex as soon as I got inside, probably all just for his benefit too. I turned to head in.
A glimmer of white shone in the mass of darkness that was the forest. It was a figure, someone in a dress...a woman? She was dressed totally in white and seemed to be totally white herself. Her finger beckoned, for some reason it seemed very important to follow her. But I couldn’t. Ryan was waiting, and I had to pretend that everything was fine until I got up the courage to tell him.
“Jay!” he screamed as soon as I opened the door. Amir and Bobby exchanged knowing glances on the couch. I had no idea what they were being so patronizing about, it wasn’t like I hadn’t heard them screwing every single fucking night since we got here. A glare soon shut them up.“Ryan.” I said.
“Come on!” he giggled, pulling me up the stairs. If I went as slowly as possible, maybe he would give up... No, that only led to him picking me up and running to the bedroom. “I want to do something different tonight. Why don’t you go dress up?” he asked.
Different? Shit, that was what we did every time. Ryan seemed to think that by making me dress like a woman he ‘wasn’t gay’. “I didn’t bring it.” I said, kissing his neck. Maybe he would just have sex with me this time, without any of the other stuff.
Oh fuck. He was grinning down at me. “I brought it.” He dumped me on the bed. “It’s in the other room. I think we need a touch of France tonight.” he suggested. Bit back tears. I didn’t want to, but if I said anything he’d just tie me down and make me. He’d done it before, at the beginning, after I’d refused to pretend to be a naughty schoolgirl visiting the principal.
The trunk sat there. I closed the door to the bedroom. If I took longer than usual, I could just say that I wanted to tease. The lock clicked open slowly. How many times had I pretended to lose the keys? Enough for him to install a simple catch, one that wouldn’t stop anyone. Inside lay piles and piles of his desire. Princess Leia, Queen Amidala, a nurse, a schoolgirl, a nun, and, his lust for tonight, a maid. I just stared at the costume for a minute, trying to reason out in my mind why I had ever decided to return his flirtations and fuck him that first time. That was the only time I’d ever had anything resembling control. But as time passed, he slowly surpassed me and found ways to make me submit. The most effective tool in his arsenal of guilt was his face. I cannot count the times he made me let him fuck me when I didn’t want to, just by pretending to be on the verge of tears. How I wished that it worked the other way, on the contrary, it just turned him on more when I was about to cry. Fuck him...but I was going to... Sucked in my breath, swallowed my inner feelings and a significant portion of the bottle of vodka that I had put in here for the purpose, then put the outfit on.
As soon as I re-entered the room I had to close my eyes to steel myself again. He was just in a robe...shit, I knew what was next. “Maid, could you please take care of something for me?” he said slowly, in between fits of laughter. He laid back on the bed, and the robe parted. Damn it, he was erect already? I didn’t look that good in this get-up. Amir and Bobby can vouch for that, since they had the misfortune of walking in in the middle of one of Ryan’s pity screws.“What do you need?” I asked in the fake falsetto he so adored. Teetering on the stiletto heels he insisted that I wear.
“Well, hopefully you can see my problem.” he whispered. “I don’t know how to get it down.” Gods, this was what he was passing off for romantic patter tonight? Swallowed again, since I didn’t particularly want to later. His expectant face burned up at me. I knelt between his legs and closed my eyes before I latched onto his cock with my mouth. Instantly his hands were in my hair and he was thrusting with all his might. I deep-throated him smoothly, having had lots of enforced practice. I tried to use my tongue to stimulate him more, but he seemed to be content trying to shove his cock through my skull. Finally he orgasmed and I tried to let the majority of it dribble down my chin so I could wipe it off on my arm. “Do you need a refresher course?” he asked. No, please no, I really didn’t need to have him choking me twice in one night. I frantically licked up the rest of it and smiled at him. “Oh, you like that? There’s more where that came from.”
His hands grabbed my wrists and he guided me down on the bed. I suffered through his frenzied attempts to pull down the women’s underwear he loved having me wear, he still hadn’t got any better at it. Maybe he was the one who needed a refresher course. Heard the snap as he uncapped the lube, then the slippery noises as he applied it conservatively to his fingers. Less is more was his philosophy. He parted my legs, then shoved two or three fingers in without any warning. I bit my lips to deal with the pain, but I knew this was only the prelude. After the prerequisite flattery of his genitals, he was hard again. And since he didn’t believe in foreplay, at least where I was concerned, that meant that he was just going to destroy me.
I cried out as he entered me and my hands flailed in the sheets. He covered my mouth with his own and proceeded to invade me there as well, with his every present tongue. He didn’t give me any chance to adjust, he just pounded me down into the bed. Suffocation is not an aphrodisiac, at least not for me. I valiantly tried to breath through my nose, at least until he had to start moaning as his release neared. Unfortunately, mine wasn’t nearing at all. But his own pleasure was all he was concerned with, so after he experienced his ecstasy, he pulled out and promptly fell asleep.
I laid there for a while, hoping that he would move on his own accord, he was still crushing me. Unfortunately, he didn’t wake up, and it didn’t seem like he would until morning. Somehow I pushed him to the side and found my way to the window.
It was still snowing, and it looked like it would continue to snow until morning. The trees were the spires of some gigantic castle of the wood, they spanned out for miles. While I was looking at them I noticed the same flash of white. The woman was there again, calling me again. This time I wasn’t going to refuse.
Ryan, expecting another romp in bed in the morning, had locked up all my regular clothes. That wasn’t going to stop me leaving this time. I grabbed his coat and ran downstairs and outside. The woman was still there, her finger constantly tempting. Her face looked so familiar, yet so different. I could barely see in the midst of the storm, but I had the sense that she wouldn’t exist if the snow wasn’t there swirling about her. I stepped towards her, and she turned and began to walk away. I followed her.