PAIGELaid my head against the wall, what the hell was wrong with him now? I was sure that it had to do with his “artwork”, but.... Tears stung my eyes. Fuck. I didn’t need to fall apart now. Bobby patted my back gently.
“I’m sure it’ll get better. It has to.” he suggested.
“....It’s starting to feel like maybe I should put him in a....” Closed my eyes and hugged myself. “place for people like that. He...he might get better.” Instantly bit my lip. Fuck. I didn’t want to say that, especially since Bobby would think that I was serious. But I couldn’t escape the feeling that Jay would be better off if he was somewhere else. Actually, it was probably just me thinking that I needed to escape, that I was the one in danger, that I was the one who was going to get hurt. The urge to flee was over-powering.
Bobby was staring at me intently. Like he wanted something but wasn’t quite sure how to ask for it. “You’re just going to give up on him?” he asked softly.
“I don’t want to, believe me I don’t....I just don’t want him to suffer.” I said.
“You want me to get Ryan to look after him for a while? We could go out and get something to drink. I think you need it.” he offered.
“Sure.” Why was he smiling? Peeked in at Jay for a moment, he was still lying there in a haze of torment. Yeah, a drink sounded great right now.
JAY
Someone in the room. Paige? Eyes opened to slits. It looked like it could be Paige, all dark clothes...but I couldn’t trust my senses anymore. Heat everywhere except my arms. They were covered with something cold. Felt so...off...
“Jay?” Damn, it was Ryan. “Um, I’m supposed to look after you for a while.”
“Paige?” I asked. Didn’t have the energy for more than that.
“He and Bobby went out to do something, I guess.” NO! Fought to get out of bed. Ryan held me down. “Come on Jay. He said he’d be back in an hour.” Or never. My throat tightened and I tried to stop the tears. I was not going to break down in front of Ryan, no matter how much I had cried in the past few days. He was not going to see me at my worst, he was not going to pity Paige for being stuck with me, a creature who could not stop crying. “Jay, he’s coming back. He promised. And he’s never broken a promise, has he?”
I hugged him tightly. He was surprised, but he let me. His clothes smelled new, that odd mixture of polyester and imminent death. “I don’t want to lose him.” I whispered.
“Paige isn’t that kind of guy. He wouldn’t leave you to deal with this alone.” Ryan said. “Now try to rest, you’re still freezing.” Sighed and tried to relax while Ryan tucked me in. Heat was searing my brain into nothing, all that was left was Paige. And he was coming back.
PAIGE
Alcohol was trying to make the world seem better, but it was doing a really shitty job at it. I sighed. Vodka, gin, tequila, beer....all went down the hatch with no effect on my mood. Bobby wasn’t helping. He’d drank about twice as much and kept trying to pretend that his foot was accidentally bumping into mine under the table.
“Paige, you know I’ve always thought you were handsome.” he whispered, licking his lips seductively.
“You’ve never told me, so how was I supposed to know?” I asked. A shy smile then his hand over mine. I pulled away gently.
“I’ve been giving you enough hints. Why else do you think I’ve been hanging around more often?”
“Because you’ve been worried about Jay.”
“No, because you’ve been worried about him.” I was so glad that we weren’t in a booth, because I was sure that he was going to try to hug me. Instead I glared at him and tried to act like I’d never seen him before.
“What brought this on? I thought you were happy with Ryan.”
“He left me.” He started sobbing and gestured for another round. I sighed and patted him on the back. “I’ll bet that he’s making the moves on Jay right now.”
Something was kicking in now. I looked at Bobby and suddenly he didn’t look half bad. Clenched my teeth and stared at the mirror. No way. I was not going to abandon Jay for Bobby. “Ryan didn’t say anything.”
“Well, it’s not like it’s out in the open yet, you know?” he said, well, I guess he gurgled. He was pretty drunk.
I shook my head. “You’re just telling me all this so you can get a pity screw.” Swirled my drink. “I don’t think you’ve broken up at all.” He slouched down and sighed.
“And who do we have here?!” a familiar voice. Looked up and SHIT! She was there. “Where’s Jay? Or is this one of your little homosexual escapades?” Bobby grinned at her sloppily.
“I really don’t have to take this.” I snapped, getting up. She shrugged.
“I would have thought that you would be more supportive. He...” Everything went red and tunneled towards her. Then the soft impact and reality sank in.
Bobby was screaming at the top of his lungs. “Paige! You just decked an old lady!” Looked down. Holy shit...I had. Somehow she didn’t look as evil with blood spilling out of her swollen lip and her hair all askew. She probably wasn’t as old as I’d thought. Maybe early forties...Closed my eyes. I had to get home, because there was no way in hell that I’d be seeing Jay again after this.
JAY Hysterical screaming and crying downstairs. Thought for a moment. No, it wasn’t me. Ryan opened the door to the bedroom and I heard it perfectly. It was Paige. Desperate attempt to get free of all the blankets and crap that Ryan had piled on. I needed to find him.
“Whoa, hold up...you’re still sick.” he said, trying to hold me down. Maybe if I had been screaming for Paige, but not when Paige was screaming for me. Somewhere I found the energy to throw him off and run halfway down the stairs. My head started to swim and I sank to my knees. Sweat covered me, I was drowning in a sea of salt. Then someone was pulling me to my feet. “Fine, just lean on me.” Ryan. Clutched him as tightly as I could.
Paige was sitting on the couch and crying harder than I had at my worst. Bobby was joining in with a shrill wail. Made Ryan let me go, and somehow I grabbed on to Paige and forced him to look at me. His eyes widened and he pushed his face into my shoulder. I tried to comfort him, but it was like I was seeing the whole world through cellophane. I knew that it was Paige, Bobby’s hair was shorter and he wouldn’t have let me touch him.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
Bobby shrieked again. “He punched out the psychiatrist! We had to run before the cops came!” Over and over again...I tried to look Paige in the eye, but he had a death grip on my arm.
“I’ll never see you again.” he howled. “But I couldn’t stop it, she was saying that I was cheating on you. You know that I’d never do that, right?” First he stabbed me in the stomach, now he was twisting the knife around. I soon joined him in crying my head off.
Then a knock at the door. I knew that it was time to go.
PAIGE
Ryan answered it. I heard three voices, well, maybe I did, I was still crying like an idiot and trying to hold Jay as close as possible. He was doing the same thing. Bobby, of course, was still screaming because he was drunk out of his mind.
“Is there a Jay Gordon here?” a stern man’s voice.
“Oh, just go in there and get him!” her voice. Closed my eyes, I wasn’t going to let him go for her, for the police, for anyone. I might have felt like running earlier, now I knew that if Jay went, so did my heart, my soul, my essence.
Jay’s hands frantically trying to grab mine, flurry of motion, Bobby constantly screaming, Ryan yelling at her, door slammed, engine fired, and then silence. Except for my cries.
JAY
“Lice.” Then my hair was gone.
“Vanity.” Nail polish, lipstick, eyeliner, all gone.
“Too many buckles.” Clothes gone.
“Suicidal.” Then my freedom was gone.