11. “Pose”Ceiling coated with wet, mold overflowing down the walls, I imagined that I could see the paint dripping down onto the floor. Drops of mold given new life as white mixtures of lead and disease. Wet spilled out of my eyes and filled the bed, I was drowning in salt. And Jay was still here. I would have thought he would have left, usually when Ryan or Amir had crying spells he was the first one gone... Could it be that he had transferred his affections from Paige to me? The thought brought a small bit of hope to my mind. A thought that soon died in the rush of emotions tearing me apart. “I just want to make her hurt.” I whispered after I felt that I wouldn’t burst into tears again. Lying on my back, staring up at infinite sadness.
Jay was sitting quietly next to me in bed, his profile interspersed with small lines of light coming in from the blinds. “As much as that sounds like it will solve things, I don’t think it would. She’d just use that as an excuse to keep you from seeing Gavin.”
“I wouldn’t be able to see him anyway. According to her lawyers I’m too mentally unbalanced to take care of a child.” I spat. He sighed and crossed his arms.
“Then I think that you should try and be as sane as possible when it comes to that. Ruining her wedding would just crush any chance you had of getting joint custody of Gavin.” he said softly, his hand trailing down to bump against mine.
“Fine...no revenge on her...yet. But we can still get back at Paige, Ryan, and Amir, right?”
He smiled to himself. “Oh yes...we can certainly do that. And I think I know a way that will keep them from getting too mad at us.”
Nervous again. Last night Jay had said he would take care of Paige almost at once, leaving me to choose between Ryan and Amir. I picked Amir, more because he had shown some interest in me than for any underlying obsession with him. Because Jay had picked Paige, who he liked anyway, it was only fair that he take Ryan too. Sat on the couch and tried to pretend that I didn’t feel like an idiot. Jay had made me put on my black Playboy shirt, roll up the bottom so that more of my stomach showed, and wear leather pants with a very obvious zipper. Makeup simple but still alluring, dark all around my eyes, some lip-gloss to make my lips bigger. It had been so long since I had actually needed to dress up. And for Amir...shuddered. But the blood running down my halfway exposed arm helped so much. It was essential, it was important, everything depended on it.The doorbell rang. Opened the door and found Amir on the other side. He looked uncomfortable and refused to meet my eyes. His eyes went down to my crotch, then shot right back up almost immediately. Noticed a faint blush around his cheekbones. “Hi Bobby...um, you said you had a problem?”
I stared at him dumbly for a second, then remembered. Sniffed dramatically. “Yeah, I do. Why don’t you come over and sit down?”
He sat down on the more comfortable couch, and I sat down next to him, as close as I dared right now. “What’s wrong Bobby? I saw that you were...Fuck! What did you do to your arm?!” he yelled, pulling my sleeve up so that he could look at it.
“I was just thinking about Shane, and Gavin, and how you guys are doing a little solo project...and...well, I was in the kitchen.” Inhaled extra deeply, willing tears to come to my eyes. “I sort of...got a little carried away with the scissors this time.” I pulled down my pants a bit, just enough so that he could see that I wasn’t wearing any underwear. Five or six cuts laid on my hip, emphasizing the underlying musculature. Jay had worked extra hard on them last night, and the others that spilled onto my inside thigh. Cock stirred as I remembered how Jay had lapped at them after he cut, leaving teasing kisses up around my skin. Had to keep focused. Amir licked his lips absently, then turned to pay attention to me. “I just, I just don’t know what to do!” I said, throwing myself into his arms. He hugged me tentatively at first, then tightly. Purposefully ground my groin down over his, feeling the beginnings of what I hoped was a hard on. Amir was always an easy mark.
Sat back a bit, making sure that I was still straddling him. I rubbed at my eyes, making sure to run my fingers down my face and trail mascara behind. Bit on my nails nervously. His eyes were half-closed and it took him a moment to realize that I had a problem and was asking him for advice. “Well...” his voice strained, cock near my own starting to get harder, “I can talk to the guys, maybe you can work with us.”
Leaned forward so that our lips were almost touching. “But Amir,” my lips traced his, lingering saliva crossed over, “I don’t want you to do that out of pity. Paige and Ryan might get mad at you. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me. They might not understand.” Purred to myself, touched our lips together for a brief second, watched as his eyes closed and squeezed shut. “But you understand, don’t you?”
“Bobby...” he moaned, his face turning an interesting shade of red. His hand went onto my back, encouraging me forward. “Oh God, Bobby...”
“Amir, they leave you out all the time, don’t they? I’d never do that, I want you by me all the time.” I drawled, taking extra care with his name. He jerked underneath me, oh yes he definitely had an erection now. Tried to suppress all my reservations. Leaned over next to him. “I want you...in me.”
Then he was on top of me, forcing me to the floor, ramming his tongue into my mouth, I thought I could taste Ryan, Paige, maybe a bit of himself underneath the remnants of his late night trysts. Did he never brush his teeth? His hands fumbled with my shirt, practically ripping it off. I just laid there and accepted it, trying not to gag. Moved my hips so our cocks touched. Tried to pretend that it was Jay. “Bobby, I’ve wanted this so long...I’ve been so worried about you.” he whispered, his tongue lingering around my nipple.
“I noticed Amir, I thought you’d want to try it out.” I said, gasping as his hand went down to the zipper on my pants. He settled for pushing his hand down inside. Cold met my cock and surrounded it, I jumped and almost bit down on his tongue.
“Don’t worry, it’ll get warmer.” he whispered, “I’m just like a cat, cold at first, but once you get to know me...” Strangled shriek as he started pumping on it. Had to calm down, this was Amir, he wasn’t someone I’d ever go for, please.... His other hand went and started to pull down the zipper. Smiled up at him as he pulled my pants down and saw the other cuts. “Bobby, you hurt yourself! Let me kiss it and make it better.” Felt his lips down there, tried to pretend they were Jay’s, cock growing harder, almost there.
“Come on Amir, I don’t want you to tease. Just fuck me.” I whimpered. “Show me how you fuck Ryan.” He sat up and grinned, starting to unzip his pants.
Then the front door opened and Jay came in, Paige trailing along behind. Paige’s face turned bright red. “Amir?!” he screamed, stomping forward. “Bobby?!” Jay tried to hold him back. Amir turned around in shock. I pulled away from him and started crying for real.
“He just jumped on me! I couldn’t get away!” I sobbed.
“That’s not true, he was asking for it, he came to the door in that, and and...” Paige stood in the doorway, looking at each of us. I knew I made a more pathetic sight, Amir still looked horny as hell.
“Amir, this is the last time I want to listen to your fucking lies. We’re going home right now!” Paige snarled after a few minutes, dragging Amir to his feet and leaving. Jay watched them go, snickering to himself.
“That was perfect.”