____Bad Magic: The Gathering Cards
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Last Updated: 11/07/02
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Welcome to the Bad Magic: The Gathering Cards page, wherein you will find some of the worst cards ever to tarnish the cardboard they're printed on. It's all just opinion, really, but it all makes sense too, so in essence they are opinions that all of you should adopt in case you don't share them already.
Withering Hex: Onslaught - Uncommon
Comments
I really don't know why this card exists. Maybe I'm ignorant, but nothing is making your opponent cycle cards, and if all you are doing is cycling cards to kill the creature with this enchanting it, then your deck is full of crap cards.
Wheel and Deal: Onslaught - Rare
Comments
This is technically, the worst card that has ever been printed, hands down. Never, NEVER, NEVER help your opponents. I am aware of multiplayer pursuits in this card. I am also aware that nothing is stopping the player with a fresh hand of seven cards from deciding to put you out of your stupid misery.
Psychic Trance: Onslaught - Rare
Comments
For one 4 mana card, you can counter 4 spells! Assuming your opponent is a complete moron jackass to play four spells. But friends tend to think alike, so if you enjoy playing this card against friends, they'll also probably be equally stupid.
Embermage Goblin: Onslaught - Uncommon
Comments
A paradox... If you have one of these in your deck, it is a complete waste of space. If you have 4 to try to take advantage of... it is a complete waste of space.
Break Open: Onslaught - Common
Comments
For two mana, chances are you are helping your opponent. Hell, I'd love to play against you. While you're at it, since you seem to prefer to pay my morph costs for me, why don't you use that leftover Shock on yourself too.
Wellspring: Mirage - Rare
Comments
This card is just silly. It makes Untamed Wilds seem unbelievably powerful. Come to think of it, why is untamed wilds always uncommon and inferior to rampant growth which is common? The world may never know...
Warping Wurm: Mirage - Rare
Comments
So unbelievably slow it makes blue control seem fast.
Oath of Mages: Exodus - Rare
Comments
The point of using red, is to constantly whittle away your oppenents life total with burn and such. Chances are, if you have less health than your opponent at a given time, you are losing and will probably not win. So in a good red deck, you will not usually have less health than your opponent. So, may as well throw in an oath of mages to give them a fighting chance and make things harder on you.
Mudhole: Oddyssey - Rare
Comments
If there is a combo for this amazingly stupid card, it is amazingly bad.
Carnival of Souls: Urza's Destiny - Rare
Comments
The Good: You can get more teenie creatures out early. The Bad: You will run out of teenie creatures to put into play. The Ugly: You will most definitely lose two life whenever your opponent plays a creature.
Cabal Ritual: Torment - Common
Comments
The only reason dark ritual, this card's superior anscestor, was good, was that it was able to triple the mana spent on it. This card doesn't even double it. That is not good. In fact it is an insult from the developers of this card to everyone that liked dark ritual. FYI: The threshold part of this card is meaningless.
Ember Shot: Judgement - Common
Comments
No.
Flametongue Kavu: Planeshift - Uncommon
Comments
This card single handedly made every creature with power 4 or less that doesn't regenerate a bad card. This card is so good, it is horrible; if you use it you are a power gamer.
Acceptable Losses: Oddyssey - Common
Comments
Sweet, since I'm using a crappy card like this, I'm probbably using other crappy cards, so there is a great chance that the card I discard is equally horrible, thus ensuring I can't play another card that will destroy my chances of winning.
Crystal Rod, Iron Star, Ivory Cup, Throne of Bone, Wooden Sphere: Base Editions - Uncommon
Comments
Let's see... Dumb, Dumb, Useless, Also Useless, and Bad.
Squee's Revenge: Apocolypse - Uncommon
Comments
Ha ha ha. No.
Crazed Firecat: Torment - Uncommon
Comments
Seven mana for what will probably only end up being a vanilla 5/5 at best, is just not good enough. Maybe if it had trample or something, I might just never use it, but as it stands, I will never use it and it earns a place on this page. It was hard deciding to put this up after remembering the time I got this out as a 10/10, but it is my duty to the people to be unbiased.
Mercadian Lift: Mercadian Masques - Rare
Comments
Winch counters? WINCH COUNTERS?!! This card is so blatantly underpowered and useless that it defies all logic. Note: Mercadian Masques sucks. Do not buy any.
Callous Giant: Invasion - Rare
Comments
At first glance, this may appear to be somewhat useable. It is not. In practice, even if you create a deck to abuse its ability with pestilences and plague spitters and such, this guy is still useless primarily because he costs about 2 more mana than he should. The only thing worse than having 1 is having 4.
Tahngarth's Glare: Apocolypse - Common
Comments
Using this card will elicit a few laughs... of derision from your opponent! This card ranks up there with the likes of Pale Moon in non-functionality. At least this one only takes 1 mana for a wasted card slot. This card is just useless. Also, it is bad. (Note: This card is bad). Remember: Do not use this card ever, as doing so may cause sudden vomitting and migraine headaches.
Martyr's Tomb: Apocolypse - Uncommon
Comments
Paying 2 life to prevent 1 damage to a creature... So realistically, in most combat situations, you will be paying 4 life or more to allow your creature to survive something or another. Either A: How about you don't do that, or B: Just don't do that. It's very simple really, the best way to use this card is simply not to use it at all.
Sorrow's Path: The Dark - Uncommon
Comments
Here is an unusual card. Not so unusual, is that it is bad, like many other cards. Complicated it may be, but once you work it all out you discover that doing damage to all your creatures and you is not a good thing. Yes, perhaps you can combo something with this, but if you try, you should understand that your deck will lose often, and badly. But more power to you if you enjoy that kind of thing.
Wood Elemental: Legends - Rare
Comments
Arguably the worst creature ever printed. It isn't hard to see why. I mean... You have to sacrifice untapped forests when it comes into play? Now if you could sacrifice tapped forests, then maybe this card would only be horrible. But as it stands, it is completely, unbelievably, 5000% shit. Note: This, like Great Wall, is in Legends, lending credence to my opinion of Legends sucking dog balls. At least in the current environment.
Alabaster Leech: Invasion - Rare
Comments
Its hard to get too mad about bad cards that happen to be common. Rare cards that are this bad are simply infuriating. 1 mana for a 1 power creature is always average. I don't care if it has a toughness of 3. You'll only be hitting your opponent by 1 at best, cause with this card, you won't be casting much of use after it until you have 3 or 4 land, at which point you will have fallen behind in the game.
Overeager Apprentice: Odyssey - Common
Comments
So, let's see... I lose 2 cards in order to add 3 mana to my mana pool? Keeping in mind that I've already used 3 land to cast this crap. Horrible. Crappy. The very poor cabal ritual is actually better than this, and that says a lot.
Aven Trooper: Torment - Common
Comments
This card is unbelievably horrible. It really boggles the mind as to its crappiness. It takes 3 land so you can discard a card for an extremely minimal benefit? It costs 4 to cast a 1/1 flier? Use this and you are a moron, you moron.
Aven Shrine: Odyssey - Rare
Comments
Healing your opponent is stupid. If you use this card seriously, so are you. Period. There will be no more comments on this ever, and I wiil hear no more of it.
Pale Moon: Nemesis - Rare
Comments
My biggest question about this abysmal card is... Why is it costed at 1U? Does making it cost 1 less unbalance the card? Did they have to cost it at 2 in order to prevent it from being abusable? Please, even if this card cost 0 to cast, it would still be among the most useless ever created.
Centaur Veteran: Torment - Common
Comments
A 3/3 trampler? Ok. It can regenerate if you toss a card and pay mana. I guess... It costs 6 freaking mana to play it? WTF?! If you intend to combo madness cards with this nonsense, then obviously you have never heard of wild mongrel.
Great Wall: Legends - Uncommon
Comments
Ha! This card is just really too funny. So I can block creatures with Plaiswalk now? Good for me... I guess that covers all of... 2 creatures in the existence of magic. Big Freaking Whoop. I hope anyone today that buys packs of legends for $50 each ends up getting only this card. But then, Legends is full of crap anyway, so I guess they get screwed no matter what.
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