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APPETISERS

Why are the birds poor?
Because money doesn't grow on trees.

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

What do the moon and false teeths have in common?
They both comes out at night.

Why did fly danced over pickle jar?
Because it said "twist to open".

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone.

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?"

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How would you keep a sardar busy?
Just give him a piece of paper and on both the sides write P.T.O.

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JOKES


ENGLISH BABU ENGLISH MEM

Santa Singh went to Banta Singh's House and said "Oye Banteya, lets go to London" Banta Singh replied "Yes Santa, par mainu English nahin aandi" (I can't speak English)
Santa Singh assures Banta Singh that his English skills are Better than Average, and that He'd take care of him in London Santa and Banta Reach London, and Pretty soon are sauntering down the middle of a fairly busy road!
A Gori Mem Pulls up behind them in her Austin Princess and Starts of in English ...... Mr Singh ,,, You are joy-walking BLAH BLAH don't you have any regard For the traffic rules in this country ... etc.. etc..
Santa Singh turns around, looks at the Gori Mem, and Starts rattling off the following at a fairly brisk Pace.
To the Principal, Government High secondary school, Village Noorpur, Post Office Noorpur, Tehsil Jalandhar, District Jalandhar, Punjab, India. Sir ... I am having severe stomach aches since yesterday, and my Phamily doctor has recomended bed rest! .... Please grant me two days sick leave Your's Obediently .... Santa Singh.
The Gori is quite baffled at the sudden outburst from Mr Singh, and quitely gets into her car and leaves Banta Singh is amazed. He runs up to Santa and says "Oye Santa, tu taan phatte chak dite"! Us gori de takkar di angrazi bol ke" (You put that gori back in her place, your English sounds better than hers) Santa Shrugs off Banta and says: "oye yeh taa kuch bhi nahin, je jaada tain tain kardi na .... mainu 'Thirsty Crow' te 'Greedy Daag' Dono aande se dono suna dene se" (that was only a sample, if she would have stuck around I would have recited 'thirsty crow' and 'Greedy dog' for her as well).

SURGEON'S ADVICE

Three surgeons meet at an operating room to find three patients waiting for surgery. One is a librarian, one is a mathematician and the last one is a politician.
The first says, "I prefer to operate on the librarian, as his organs should be in alphabetical order."
The second says, "I prefer to operate on the mathematician, as his organs should be all numbered."
The third says, "I prefer to operate on the politician, as he is heartless, gutless, spineless. And his brains and posterior are interchangeable."

FUNERAL FOR FRIEND

Little Tim was in the garden filling a pit when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in knowing what it was all about, he said,"What are you doing, Tim?"
"My Goldfish died, and I have buried it.", replied Tim tearfully."But that's a very big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?", asked the neighbour.
Tim patted down the last heap of earth and replied,"that's because it is still inside your stupid cat."

MOBILE MAGIC

John gifted his wife a mobile phone on her 25th birthday.
Next day when he was in his office, he called his wife on her mobile. She said,"the phone is easy to carry and his voice was also very clear,but was unable to understand that how John came to know that she was in beauty parlour?"

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TONGUE TWISTERS

*. Which wrist watches are swiss wristwatches.

*.I hit my bunny phone - I hit my funny bone.

*.A blushing crow - A crushing blow.

*.You have very mad banners - You have very bad manners.

*.Go and shake a tower - Go and take a shower.

*.It's roaring with pain - It's pouring with rain.

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DESSERTS

Gum woh cheez hai.....Gum woh cheez hai...(Wah!Kya dard hai)
Gum woh cheez hai.....jisse paper chipkaya jaata hai

Door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi....Door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi
Paas gaya to bheeg gaya.

Kaash tere chehre pe chechak ke daag hote
Kaash tere chehre pe chechak ke daag hote
Kaash tere chehre pe chechak ke daag hote
Chaand to tu hai hi,Taare bhi saath hote

Tum aa gayeho, Noor aa gaya hai....
Chalo teeno picture chalte hai.

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hai......Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hai......
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hai......Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hai......
Jaise kal chamak rahe the

Chilman ke is taraf se hum dekhte hain, chilman ke us taraf se tum dekhte ho,
Chilman ke is taraf se hum dekhte hain, chilman ke us taraf se tum dekhte ho,
Chilman ke is taraf se hum dekhte hain, chilman ke us taraf se tum dekhte ho,
Abey chilman ko aag laga do, na tum dekho na hum dekhe..

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