The purpose of this website is not to change what you think, so much as it is to change how you think.

In 2000, the notion of creating a website seemed fantastically appealing to me. I'd decided when I was in 4th grade that I wanted to focus on computers for a career, as I'd always enjoyed them. I attribute this to the fact that I spent half of my time in childhood playing on my older brothers' Atari 2600, NES, and Amiga, while not even knowing how to read. The next bulk of my time went to drawing and writing stories. So, adding those together, I suppose it's rather easy to see how the mold for me was shaped. I was lucky to have lived in Germany until I was 8, where there was only one channel with precious few children's shows, keeping me from having the TV dependency a lot of other people seem to have. Good for them, but I'm happy to be otherwise. Of course, there were many other minute side activities in my childhood that I can tell affected me as well. But, while this site is partially meant to be an expression and history of me, at the moment, I'll try to keep the conversation limited to the topic at hand.

The topic at hand is the purpose of this site. As I said, this site exists for the expression and history of myself. When I had those urges to build a website when I was in 10th grade, I knew nothing of HTML. But, regardless, I tried to dream up what I might have a website about. At the time, my only passions in life were my projects and my journal. Varying interests in nature and video games on the side, but nothing I was dedicated to enough to build a site for. So, it seemed fitting to build a site simply based on myself. Why am I so presumptuous as to think that anyone might care about such personal matters? Honestly, I don't expect it of many people. Originally, I felt I would simply get self-satisfaction from building such a site.

Due to apotheosizing about building this site for so long, it became a daunting task in my mind. So, when I finally began to learn HTML, I built DNA Deliverance as a practice site. Appropriately, I'm a big enough fan of the King of Fighters series to happily continue that site. But, after I felt I'd received enough practice, the time came to create PaGaN 3l3m3n+s. If you look for meaning in that name, you'll find none. In my youth, I simply thought pagan was an entertaining word, and loved thinking of things elementally, and haphazardly stuck the two together one day and thought it sounded too wonderful to let myself forget. Regardless, for lack of a screen name, it became mine, and after using it long enough, it's become somewhat inseparable from me. So, it was the name I chose for the site. The problem was, I no longer felt I'd receive self-satisfaction from a personal website.

I dwelled upon the matter, no doubt trying to find a way to convince myself I should still make the site. Other than having a convenient place to store files for linking, and to post things I wanted my internet acquaintances to examine, I could find none. I'd already begun a blog on MySpace, and found myself preferring a much more private journal. However, one day, a worthwhile reason occurred to me. For some time, I've wanted to write a book containing all of my personal ethos, creed, and beliefs, and in excrutiating detail explaining how I came to each conclusion, and why I personally felt it was the best. More so, I want to teach people how to have a mind. I still have every intention of one day writing this. But, I realized that in addition to a creative outlet and the miniscule reasons listed above, this website could also serve a similar purpose, perhaps influencing others.

This brings us to wonder, how could I be so arrogant as to think I should try to impress my own views on others? Firstly, I can't imagine how anyone would arrive here and continue to be here by anything other than choice. That obvious fact aside, I'll state my often repeated catch-all for anything I state that might be construed as arrogant. Which is thus: Everyone has their own needs for happiness. Therefore, noone can say what is the best way of living, other than in regards to their own life. I've struggled all my life to find what is best for me, and I feel I have succedded. My ways of life and I have can meticulously crafted by myself to be the very best they can be. So, I may accidentally sound arrogant at times. I try to avoid it, but people like to find it and misconstrue it regardless. I am the best. But, only the best me.

I think that is something deserving of respect. But, if any of my beliefs, or those views themselves clash with someone else's ideals, than I suppose they have no obligation to respect me, and I won't hold it against them. Of course, I probably won't think their ideals are worth much either. But, I will respect them for the sake of being themselves. All this said, if everyone needs to decide for themselves how to live, why do I hope this site might influence others? Well, of course, I can't help but think the world would be better if more people followed my ways. Anyone with any worthwhile amount of self-esteem will feel that way. But, more than anything, I just want people to think more, and give a little thought to who they want to be, and how to go about becoming that ideal. And, if I can inspire that any, I'll be satisfied.

So, that's my spiritual changing of the world aspirations for this site. In addition to the little things in life, which, ironically, are just as important. According to my ideals, anyways. I'll throw up art, poetry, internalizations, essays, expressions of fandom, and any other little creative thing I can think of. Most of it will probably be sub-par trash. Sorry for that. But, if you stick around, I guarantee that at some point, you'll encounter something worthwhile here.

PaGaN 3l3m3n+s
Adam Lee Paxton