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If you have any funny stories, jokes, quotes or any amusing anecdotes about refereeing please email me them and I will include them here.

One of the funniest things that ever happened to me was while refereeing a Manly Under 18 Women's game at Beacon Hill High School in 1995. I was wearing black track pants with press studs down the sides. Play changed direction suddenly, my thumb got caught in the side of the pants as I changed direction, and I ripped my pants open, with them falling to the ground! I was left standing in front of the visiting teams bench with my pants around my ankles wearing nothing but a pair of jocks!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It heard that the referees were calling fouls.

Some of my favourite quotes: "How long, how long, how long?" (and the obvious answer - "oh, about 8 inches") "1.2.3...c'mon three seconds" (when will players & coaches realise that it is 3 seconds not onetwothree?)

Possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen on a basketball court was a few years ago, when I refereed a State League Women's game at St Pious. My partner (a senior, experienced referee) called a pushing foul on a player, and approached the bench to make his signal. He called the number, and then indicated the "pushing" hand signal to one side of his body. Little did he realise that a player was standing next to him at the time. As he extended his arms for the call, his hands made perfect contact with the young ladies breasts! I have never seen a referee so speechless before, it took quite a while for everyone to regain their composure. (The morale - look, before you make a signal - I have also seen players punched by over zealous offensive foul calls!)

My younger brother played reps for Manly for several years. In an Under 18's game he was elbowed in the head, which opened a gash above his eye, requiring several stitches. The call: head butting the other players elbow! (What are some referees thinking?)

Recently I was refereeing an Open Men's Division 2 game at MWBA, when a player was hit hard on the hand while attempting a three point shot. After I called "play" the player turned to me screaming for the foul. As we made our way up the court, I said "he got you on the hand" to which the player responded "Yeah ... the hand's part of the ball!" "Exactly" I said and turned away - I never did figure out what the player was arguing about!