| 11-1-99 The Morning radiates with the beauty of things to come. Will I allow myself to be open to it's mysteries. I shall give it by best effort. The fall is when Erda changes for the season, making her trees go dormant & shed their leaves only to prepare for the Spring to awake to life's new beauty. 11-2-99 Is Man aware he too has a dormant season to renew his life. Man needs sleep, of this, no one questions, but what is sleep but a time to regenerate to bring about a burst of New life come the dawn. My experiment goes well, I learn something each day, then before sleep I repeat it to myself 25 times, to see if it becomes imbedded in my long term memory and/or helps to control reaction to various emotions. 11-3-99 All nature lives on the cycle of life, death, rebirth (from seeds or from the dormant period) why is Man so arrogant to believe he is above nature? For man to exist beyond the next purge by Erda, he must look at himself in the context of being in harmony with nature! 11-4-99 Society has turned cold and uncaring as a result slowly but methodically it tears its own fibers. One should learn from this that Mankind cannot turn to stone on its face or it will remove that which brings a sense of humanity to the individual inner being. Man by nature is a violent predator with a sense of humanity the only thing that keeps this instinct in its checks and balances. 11-5-99 Took today to focus on my Ancient Culture, projecting myself back in time to speak with my ancestors. While the trip isn't physical, it is very rewarding in bringing inner wisdom. Could not stay long as I'm out of practice, but, I learned much on this short journey. Our direction is in part a continuation of our ancestors journey, but our future is not yet written. The only plan is the one we focus on for our journey. 11-6-99 Many people won't believe that which is in their own mind. The capabilities of man are vast, but only if he'll free his mind and be open to what he finds. A free man is not one who lives outside prison's walls, he is one who can see past that which his eyes project into his brain to that which his mind projects into his eyes. 11-7-99 Looking through the mind's eye I see the wise words of the past. That which is not yet known, should be sought and learned and that which is known, should be studied and expanded on till it is second nature. The mind like any other living organism only works as hard as it must, one must push the mind beyond it's capacity till it expands. 11-8-99 Know one's self both outter and inner. What makes man tick is a very important key in the growth process, one can feel beyond their own flesh if they just open up the doorway that has the sensors. Do not over look any doorway, some will scare you, but face your fears and grow beyond them. 11-9-99 Knowledge is power, power misused though is imbalance to the inner being. It closes down the ability to gain wisdom and makes you less, not more. To inflict and force the will of one on another is destructive to both. No one benefits when an inner peace and serenity is disrupted by an imbalance. The USSR failure and fall teaches us that when Man is not given the freedom to grow the way his inner being dictates it stagnates the growth of people as a whole! 11-10-99 Some movement yesterday seems to have given me a headache today. What will be learned today is anyone's guess, but, I will learn something today. Once I am out, I want to begin once again getting mail order College Courses. I need to keep my mind learning. Perhaps I can continue my education enough to get my PHD in Engineering. 11-11-99 Veteran's Day today, time to remember about the Gov't's lack of justice for those of us who served so valiantly our country defending the very rights we are now denied. Today I sit in quiet contemplation remembering days past. Remember those who've done for me so I don't become as cold and dispassionate as the Gov't I once defended. 11-12-99 Well more people left today. There are but a few left down here that are not due to soon go up stairs. Yesterday I looked back, today I must look forward. Life can be better tomorrow than it is today but only if I work on making myself better today. The war is not won with a single shot. 11-13-99 Many species have different life spans and over these life spans, I wonder if it feels as long of a life for on animal as another or is time relevant. Question does a dog know it only lived fourteen years when its geriatric or does he wonder why his homan companion has not become as old as he? Man's best friend is loyal and true, man could learn a lot from him. 11-14-99 Footbal season has not caught my attention this year, don't exactly know why, perhaps because I just have come to need more intellectual stimulus. Made arrangements with my sister-in-law to take some mail order College Coursed once released from this kennel. Can't let the gov't stunt me intellectually, just because they want to pretend to be saving money. Knowledge is power and wisdom is its ruler. 11-15-99 Weather is turning cold, last of the leaves are falling, soon to feed their nutrients back to the earth as the cycle of life once again ends. But tears are not needed here for with each ending begins the cycle of rebirth. The Trees will slumber till they spring back to life in a glorious rebirth in the Dawn of a new day. This is true for all life. 11-16-99 Shaved my head today. the few strands of hair I had left were really beginning to look ratty and so I removed them. It'll take awhile to get use to this new look. But the time for a change was evident, just needed the courage to change. 11-17-99 Suppose to have Counseling session today. With the old schedule it should be first thing in the morning, but as evidence of the past it will be more likely first thing in the afternoon. Logic dictates that this will change the course of my day till a new schedule is produced. Will ask the Counselor again about the move to Phase III and Mr. Associate Administrator if and when he pops around. 11-18-99 Rolling through the winding mountain road of the mind. The rumble of the motor in memory. Just a blah day, reminiscing of days gone by, viewing hope for the future as the courts near a decision. 11-19-99 ----- 11-20-99 Received my Docket number for Appellate Court today. Now, I must readjust my time management to pur about four hours per day to put time into the appeal of this atrocity. TV will be put to the side starting Monday. 11-21-99 Well another cellie locked up and once again my own domain in the Animal Cage. Hopefully I will get to keep ths for awhile. Locking with short timers talking about going home can be depressing a bit. 11-22-99 Well today started my new routine. I got much accomplished and tomorrow will have some interruptions because of these unnecessary programs i completed less than a year ago. My mind isn't quick to forget. I recall what ws spoken as if it were yesterday. Guess I'll just let the inconvenience not disturb me much and do all I can to keep my mind open. 11-23-99 Spoke with Counselor about my being transferred to Phase III early, claimed it has been submitted to Mr. Associate Administrator. Spoke with Mr. Associate Administrator, who claims he never received it, but, I should be moved by next Tuesday at the latest. The Counselor claimed he would double check the paperwork and get back to me tomorrow. For all the flaims from various members of the DOC that I don't need this program and am only here because the rules and regulations have me caught up, no one seems in any rush to move me along in a speedily manner. Thought of the day, the gov't has taken the people aspect out of the mix in its vast regulations making the Gov't of the People, by the People and for the People cold and uncaring about the People. 11-24-99 The Counselor did not get back to me about the paperwork. The News Camera's were in here for a couple of hours today. Now not are we only zoo animals, but the new specials for scaring the public into allowing Humane & Constitutional protections to go the way of the dinosaur. We ar but a political pawn. The masses don't even realize how badly they're being manipulated. 11-25-99 Thanksgiving day in meant for reviewing what one is thankful for. Myself, I'm thankful for the family support I still have even after fourteen years in Prison and corrupt gov't officials to make me appear to be some sort of animal. I'm thankful for being able to gain knowledge and wisdom that helps me endure the slings and arrows the gov't throws at my character. I'm thankful for the battles waged on behalf of my freedom. And for Jake. 11-26-99 Weekend schedule and another day of boring existence. (guard) V. claims there is a difference between success & survival and this is true, however when one is in a position of being put in this situation meant to break your human spirit, survival with your spirit intact is success. No one can predect what tomorrow will bring, but, better days must be ahead. 11-27-99 It is said live for today for there may be no tomorrow. I however sayI must live for tomorrow, cause for me there is no today. The power of knowledge can be stronger than the Nuclear explosion but without wisdom it is nothing more than a non directed explosion. Wisdom harnesses the power to be properly focused the same way a Power plant controls the Nuclear explosion. The gov't has lost its compassion ans with it its wisdom to make life better for the people. The world will look down on this time in history. 11-28-99 When the world decides to shed herself of Mankind & heal her scars of this species, who can stop her, no one can control the forces of nature. Man forever fighting a losing battle and the only victory is the total annhialation of the planet with them. So I say, yest cut down one more tree, create one more pollutant, self destruction is mankind's destiny. The dinosaurs await company in an entire species becoming extinct. 11-29-99 All the world is a stage and we but bit players. Is our dynasty greater than those of the past. The Egyptians created great monuments in the pyramids without having to pollute, the Romans & Greeks each gave the world codes & philosophies sitll prevalent today. The Norse gave us a court system and warrior spirit and strategy we can not dispute was the greatest. Our biggest contribution is pollution causing a deterioration of the planet's ozone layer. We are but a short sighted, self serving species with a feeling we are all important, self determined gods over the other species on the back of Erda (Mother Earth). For all my time in meditation and deep thought, I can find no justification for our conveniences at the peril of the other creatures of the earth. 11-30-99 More movements up to Phase III today of which I was not included. Finish the twelve weeks in two days, only according to the idiots running the show there is still two weeks for this part of the game. A game that I was told by all had a shortened board for me. But Gov't lies are too well imbedded in this existance and the people in so called charge really do not know what is the truth any longer. Compassion no longer exists in the cold heart. NEXT PREV HOME |