�We�re supposed to have an abstract or something.� (Ellen Larson)
�Yes, it�s called an abstract.��Stephanie LaFayette
�I am open to the universe and it�sends me things�what the heck does that mean?��O�Connor
�Brain tumors shouldn�t be so funny. But they are.��Gwen Fitzgerald
�Nobody gives your presents and everybody�s mad at you.��Kennedy (describing what happens if you elope)
�That makes me feel more pathetic than I actually feel!��Amanda Klinger
�Moose antlers are like oven mitts.��Emma Olmstead-Rumsey
�Here are the formulas. They�re brown.��Porter
�This guy is my new girlfriend.��Catherine Lussenhop
�You have a special bond with things that come out of your vagina.��Catherine Lussenhop
�Ha ha, who needs blood flow?��Matthew Chrastek
�I just put nine instead of six. That�s funny to me.��Matthew Chrastek
�The world knows when I�m sad.��Gwen Fitzgerald
�I don�t care where you sit, but you�re in the musk ox group.��Wagner
�You�re over there with the, uh, musk ox.��Wagner
�Aah! How am I supposed to pet chinchillas now!?��Linnea Trandem
�I�m disinterested in this because it doesn�t have Greek hoes in it.��Ellen Larson
�Yellow is awesome.��Michael Gutsche
�You and I: gas smugglers.��Willie Johnson
�Emma, we�ve got a new plan. We�re going to take over Ann Arbor, Michigan.��Cullen McMahon
�Why?� (Emma Olmstead-Rumsey)
�It�s a college town, it�ll be easy.��Cullen McMahon
�We�re going to oppress you. That goes without saying.��Willie Johnston
�If I could sleep on myself I would.��Gwen Fitzgerald
�I�m a blood-giving virgin.��Gwen Fitzgerald
�Assistant-type priest��Wagner
�Lisa, do I seem asexual to you?��Sarah Abdelwahab
�I wish I were asexual.��Lisa Keacher
�Trains are heroic.��Gwen Fitzgerald
�Placebos, parameciums, they�re the same thing.��Ellen Larson
�That was my bandit face; did you like it?��Stephanie LaFayette
�Is that creepy?��Luke Holifield
�Yes.� (Catherine Lussenhop)
�My work here is done.��Luke Holifield
�Euler was an oily bastard.��Carolyn Bussey
�I bet he had a mustache.��Ellen Larson
�What do you call a group of people?��Jesse Watson
�Stupid.��Ellen Larson