Joyce Elaine Matthewson Wastle

10-17-50to 4-1-90

Dear Mother:

You would be happy to know that I found your son, who was given up for adoption 2 years after I was, and now goes by the name of Jim, and that I have also met and am getting to know your youngest daughter, who was only 5 years old when you died. I think you�d also be happy to know that I found my birth father and my half-siblings by him, and that they have accepted me as a part of the family. They treat me as if I we had always been together. And would you believe we are so much alike that we are the same type picky eaters, and even like the SAME foods cooked the SAME way? I now know where I get my looks, my tastes, and my quirks. That is so good to feel such a sense of belonging in this world!

The BEST thing about my search, was when my birth father told me that he wanted me and wanted to raise me. I suddenly felt that I had been given permission to exist, felt like a 2000 pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I never realized until that moment that I had always felt like I wasn�t supposed to have been born. The emotion was overwhelming.

But the worst thing was finding out that you had died. I feel cheated by the fact that we never got to meet. Even so, I am glad that I finally know the truth, and that I was able to find out about you, and about the rest of my birth family.

I really wish we could have met-even just once. And I hope there really is a heaven, where we can meet someday.

Lori Pringle, AKA Lori Lynne Matthewson (Bname) Born 12-17-68, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

When my search ended six years ago and I found that both of you had died, I was deeply saddened, but at least I had FOUND you! For that I was very thankful, but I was angry that my adoption records being closed had kept me, for so long, on a roller coaster and merry-go-round of painful emotions.

The North Carolina Children�s Home Society handled my adoption, and had all the information I needed to find you, but legally could not share it with me. I lived in New York, had to turn my search over to someone in North Carolina, and went through a very troubled year before they found Father. He had been dead for more than 30 years. Twelve long, agonizing months later I found you, Mother, in a pauper�s grave in Black Mountain, NC. Had we been together all those years, I like to think I would have been able to lay you to rest in a beautiful cemetery with a magnificent headstone.

All your brothers and sisters had died, but I found some cousins who welcomed me with warmth, sincerity and open arms. They couldn�t tell me very much about you and dad, but they gave me pictures of you. Blurred as yours is, Mother, I can see that we were cut from the same cookie cutter.

Even though my search led to 2 graves, I have never regretted searching. I feel a sense of myself that I never had before and I certainly feel more grounded. I know where you are now, and I can visit you any time I feel like it. I have met many adoptees and birth parents who suffer the same heartache and frustration that I did, aching to find out who they are, where they came from, or if their adult child is alive and well. Mother, Father, you surely knew that feeling all those years, not knowing if Billie and I were alive or dead. Closed adoption records are inhumane!

I am still looking for my brother Billie McElreath, born 1936 in Asheville, NC. Someday I hope to be able to tell you that we have been reunited.
Love,

Martine S. McCarthy, AKA Mary June McElreath (Bname) Born Greensboro, NC, June 3, 1938.