You are not forgotten.
You lived a life of harmony
With yourself, your friends, your world.
Though many do not know it,
You had a heart of gold.
You gave yourself in sacrifice
For the happiness of others,
And despite the walls around you,
You opened yourself to me.
I am honored to have known you;
I hold you in the highest esteem.
Though others did not know it,
You were a hero and a friend.
Please know you will always be remembered.
-7/10/00
Best
-7/15/00
The Little Kingdom
-7/19/00
Make Me Love You
-7/26/00
No Regrets
-7/30/00
What Needs to be Said
-7/30/00
Burning demon of hope and desire,
Remove your iron fist from my heart.
Free me from the chains of possibility.
Let me no longer crave.
Show me wisdom when sense has boiled off,
That I may sail the safest course.
Give me cold reason devoid of emotion,
That I may face fears with firm foundations.
I scream defiance and fight with fury,
For I will never submit.
I am the one who will triumph;
It is I who is the best.
I sit withdrawn from myself
Into a world where meaning is meaningless
And all dreams can come true.
It sounds like a real-life fantasy,
But it is my little kingdom,
Where I go to depart from the
Consequences and trivialities of life;
Where I can be alone to think,
To do things on my own terms.
Everyone has a little kingdom of their own.
Sometimes it exists in reality:
A forest clearing, a comfy bed, in someone's arms.
And sometimes it only exists in our imagination.
Of course, the latter is better.
After all, you can go there anytime
And stay as long as you like.
So here I will remain for the night,
In the place closest to my heart,
Watching, wanting, wondering, waiting.
Tie me down, but don't hold too tight
because I still want to see my dreams.
Show me the errors of my ways,
but stay with me to support my endeavors.
Tempt me, but show me humility
so that I may not take excess for granted.
Most importantly, make me love you,
for it is my only hope of survival.
As I lie in my bed, half asleep,
I say a little prayer to ease my burning soul.
Give me courage to stay my course.
Give me the hope of tomorrow's smiles.
Give me everlasting patience,
For my time is tried and life is short.
If tomorrow, when the sunrise shines through my window,
I do not awaken, forgive me my sins.
Wash away the evil from my heart.
Cleanse me so that I might feel whole again.
If I die before I wake,
It will be a wonderful, painless thing.
If I die before I wake,
Let me forget this life
So that I might have no regrets.
So many things run through my mind at once
that I think I might be overwhelmed.
But always I will remember you.
You, and the hurt you caused me.
I loved you, but you didn't have the courage
to tell me to my face.
You act well; Broadway is yours.
A few feigned tears are not enough
to ease the pain tearing my heart in two.
Have you ever felt this?
My heart is in an iron grip,
wrenched to and fro,
tossed about like a dirty rag.
I'll not be part of you.
To sustain any reasonable amount of happiness
I must eliminate you from my life.
So continue living as you always have,
and I will walk away.
(Wasn't that AWESOME???)
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