-12/5/99
Blue Eyes
-12/8/99
Debate
-12/13/99
Runaway Boy
-12/13/99
You Are Art
-12/15/99
Snowfall
-12/16/99
Lights in the Great Beyond
-12/17/99
Contradiction
-12/17/99
Ache For Love
-12/17/99
Trapped in You
-12/24/99
Never a Friend
-12/24/99
Is This Really Life?
-12/31/99
Blue eyes, fireflies, flying high like satellites.
No disguise behind blue eyes, clear as ice, crystal night.
Blue eyes, summer days, warm ways in cooler nights.
Show me warmth with the light given me by blue eyes.
Funny ways in summer days, quiet-shy by full blue eyes.
Feel the night, the moonlight, shining blue from the moon.
Feel the light, the sunlight, warming day, high at noon.
Blue eyes, dandelions, lilac buds on bushes sigh
At the sight of shining light, the warmth and color of blue eyes.
What is the reason?
I don't want to talk about it.
You can't hide it from me forever you know.
I know.
There must be a reason.
You already know there is.
Then what is it?
I can't say.
Why?
I don't want to think about it.
Why not?
Forget the fear and you'll live happily.
The truth will set you free.
Debate further and I'll never tell you.
You have to tell me.
I know. But I'll stand fast.
You'll die first.
You don't need to know.
I do.
I don't want to think about it.
There must be a reason. You can't hide it.
There is. I'll forget it before you know it.
You can't forget.
I will. You'll never know.
I must know.
Why?
I am you.
runaway boy, out on the road
where has he been? where will he go?
out in the cold, pelted by rain
he's running away from eternal pain
the cars passing by all flash their lights
the lightning and thunder add to his fright
he screams to a god he's never known
"tell me lord, where is my 'home'?"
the runaway boy, out on the street
shot in the back, he falls to his knees
and years later there's nothing left
except a small memory of the little boy's death
You are art, my Love.
Thine curves speak of that
Which is most desireable.
The epitome of physical perfection,
Thine beauty reacheth mine lonely eyes.
Were I a sculptor,
I would mould thee in my clay,
But Alas! I am but a scrap
In the shadow of your figure.
Always pleasing to the eye,
The beauty which every man desires
Is thee, my Love.
The first snowfall accented my evening.
I strolled across the field of grass,
Golden light drifting across my face,
Only to see the flakes falling from heaven,
Settling on my nose, to melt away into nothingness.
The magic of snowfall permeated my skin
And penetrated deep into my body,
Filling me with warmth and joy.
With lifted spirits and a smile,
I walked home knowing everything would be alright.
I sat, floating in the Great Beyond,
And I saw diamond lights
Spattered on the dolphin-gray skyline.
Mysterious to me, the lights
Shone heavenly in the twilight morn.
Lost in the fantasy, I shut my eyes
To look inward for peace,
And, find nothing but soaring emotion,
I turned back to the bright lights,
Floating in the Great Beyond,
To stare at their golden beauty
While I smiled with pleasure.
You.
You have caught me in the palm of your hand.
You have brought me up to your eyes
And blown me off, to plummet again.
You.
You tempt me and taunt me like a puppy.
Your kind words and blown kisses make me smile,
But you ignore me when I speak to you.
You.
You are my inspiration. You own my heart.
You have given me more than I could ever give you,
But you haven't yet realized it.
You.
Your sugar-laced words and cream-coated deeds
Were nothing more than bait to draw me in,
To make me feel for you as I have felt for no other.
You.
You are the emotional support I crave,
Yet you spend all the energy I give you
As if my strength were as limitless as my love.
You.
You make me sick and make me shed unwanted tears.
You hold me, if only to crush the breath out of me,
Leaving my lungs and my life deflated.
But you.
You, with all your talents and heavenly beauty,
Your angelic voice and intelligent mind...
You will always hold the key to my heart.
Oh, how I ache for love!
The desire in me is too great;
I cannot hold this energy in.
Always searching, never finding,
I yearn to hold and be held.
I want to cry to the world,
"I love you!" with all my heart,
But I have no one to speak to.
I want to show the passion,
Built up in my soul,
But none are willing to share.
Break my lonliness in two!
Snap me open and show me
The heart which I long to see.
Oh, how I ache for love!
Why can no one love me?
Why do I keep coming back to you?
Why do I even try?
You lift me up and drop me down
In sinusoidal torture.
I am trapped by the look in your eyes,
Your smile, your voice.
If only you knew what you're doing to me
And how I feel for you.
You are a drug to me, sending me high
Into my dreamworld,
Only to feel the crushing blow
Of coming down from you.
You are all my dreams since we met.
How I love you so!
You are my hopes for a fortunate future,
But you always hurt me somehow.
You are all the good in the world,
And all the evil too.
You care not for me.
Why do I care so for you?
You've never been a friend to me.
You keep me at your heels on a leash.
Always I've had a hope
That you could find it in your heart to like me.
My first goal was pleasing you.
How have I gone wrong?
I never noticed before,
In my ignorant hope for love,
That the look you gave me
Was one of exploitation.
You've never been a friend to me.
I don't know why I even try.
You are too caught up in your own world
To notice me at all;
The only thing I have ever noticed is you.
Goodbye dreamworld. Goodbye love.
Goodbye, my neverfriend.
You see her
For the first time,
And you think you will be blinded
By the brightness of her beauty.
And you call to her;
You gather her attentions
And you make her want to know you
With your smiles and wit and charm.
And you talk to her
And tell her that you
May not be all she wanted,
But you've got much more to offer...
And you tell her
All that you have known.
You let her get inside you
And pour out all your trust.
And you call her
And find she isn't there;
You find she isn't talking to you,
Find she doesn't want to know.
And you call her
And want to be with her
But it doesn't really matter
'Cause she has no time for you.
So you yell;
You scream and shout with rage
And terrify her more
Because you just want to be with her.
So she leaves,
Never to see you,
Never turning back,
Never saying goodbye;
And you cry
Your eyes out your head;
You fall naked to your knees
And beg forgiveness.
And you're alone
'Cause she's never coming back;
She's found a better way;
She never needed you anyway.
You're alone again
And you're tears fill up the sky,
And you always wonder why...
Why did she have no time for me?
You see her
In your dreams.
You say it wasn't your fault,
But you know it really was.
And then you die
From heartache.
You're crushed and can't move on,
Can't live to see another day.
And she cries
Because she really did like you,
Just not in that way...
Not how you wanted.
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