Eriginal Flavor

I never had sex in a van, which is odd, since it’s such a stereotypical place for people to have sex. You can be assured that it won’t be happening on this trip. I won’t be participating, anyway. Sometimes I get a weird feeling about that NiNi. Like if I opened her suitcase, it would be full of S&M gear. It’s always the nice, quiet ones. I know Kevin has a condom in his wallet—sadly, you can see the ring from the outside—leading me to believe that, conforming to stereotype, he’s had it there since he was fourteen. I wonder if any of these people get laid. I suppose Mel does—with all that pot she smokes, it’s got to happen sometime.  I can’t believe she keeps denying it! It’s so obvious! I mean, look at the tacky way she dresses. What is with all the rubber bands around her wrist? And all those ridiculous skirts and bare legs and bowling shirts? She is like, whacked, 24 hours a day. I promise, no matter how much I smoke, I will never, ever, be tacky.

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