I had just gotten done e-mailing the latest joke I had recieved to all my friends (you know, the one about the doctor, the rabbi, and the engineer...), and the car came to a screeching halt.
Mel had been driving, and must have pissed Erin off to no end, because our little blonde diva-wanna-be came rushing at the driver's seat like a madwoman.
Erin sreamed, "What the hell did you call me, you pretentious crack-whore?!?"
Mel hissed back, "I called you a bitch, bitch... You want some of this?"
Hmmm... now this could prove interesting.
"Mel! Layeth the smacketh down on her candy ass," I shouted, showing off my superior knowledge of the world of professional wrestling catchphrases...
"What did you say about my ass? See, Melissa, I told you everyone in this van wants to have sex with me!"
For a moment, I imagined how messed up sex with Erin would be. But before the weirdness of that thought set in, reality set in harder... The only person on Earth this woman would screw would be herself, or Cameron Diaz. I may be a total flirt-master and North Dakota's greatest ladies man, but that's a bit even beyond my scope.
At this point, I realized there was a gas station within walking distance, and I needed my wallet.
"Say guys, before you start the catfight, my money's on the seat..."
Nini frowned.
"Guys... can't you just get along?"
"Shut up, bitch," Mel and Erin simultaneously snapped at NiNi.
I couldn't believe it, but NiNi actually looked... pissed off?
Mel lunged at Erin.
"Cunt!!!"
"Shallow Bitch!"
Mel and Erin started throwing girly punches at each other. Man, I could hit harder than these two... Maybe this wouldn't be interesting, after all. Just as I was about to get up and take a walk, NiNi walked over, pulled a wad of frozen whoppers from the fridge and started walking over to the fight.
"I'm going to take these whoppers... shine them up real nice... turn these sumbitches sideways, and stick 'em straight up yer candy asses!!!
With that, Nini smacked Mel and Erin simultaneously upside their craniums, knocking them both out cold.
Whoa... NiNi was the true master of both professional wrestling catchphrases and frozen burgers...
