07FLAwards

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome once again to the...

2007 JANNY AWARDS!

In this 9th year of the Funny List, I faced challenges coming up with winners. For starters, this year's list was a lot shorter than previous years' lists! But that does not mean the contributions were any less hysterical in the past! As always, I appreciate the time and comedic effort put forth by ALL the contributors to the Funny List! So, let me stop babbling, and get ON WITH THE AWARDS!

Randomness makes the world go round, and often times creates the funniest moments! This first set of winners really prove that! Our first category tonight celebrates the timing, the talent, and the randomness of two special people.

MOST RANDOM MALE :
MR. JEFF H!

�Calamari IS the apple of the sea!� � Jeff

�Is that the one with the hat, the dress, and the chair?� � Jeff, instead of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

MOST RANDOM FEMALE:
MS. RIMA K!

�With a touch of a job and you live like a slob, you ain�t never had a friend like me!� � Rima, to herself � Hilarity Ensued.

�Ahh, Epcot, the land of milk and honey.� � Rima
�What does that MEAN?� � Jan
�I don�t know.� � Rima
�Never lose that magic, Jan.� � Rima

The next award is a tricky one! It takes a special person to be able to use vivid description and wild language to describe something that is going on! This winner deserves this award hands down!

MOST VISUALLY CREATIVE:
MS. SARA G!

blondie6133: if you were like, "Jan, you can either be my friend, OR own Maui and Simba..." you'd lose.
Whodinky2: yeah okay
Whodinky2: well i like them
blondie6133: I told Jason last night that he better never make me choose.
blondie6133: cause HE'D lose.
Whodinky2: Jason looked at her and said, "Janny you can either keep me and <insert baby name here> or Simba and Maui." Our heroine boldly looked at her soon-to-be ex-husband, thrust the baby in his arms, put the leashes on her precious puppies and walked out the door.

For decades, comedy has been a two-person job! The FL is no exception! As always, there were many moments that were funny because of how a duo fed off of each other's humor!

BEST DUO FUNNIES:
MS. JANICE H.
and
MR. DAVID B.

Mtchbx20: ahh..Disney World, where the princesses wear little - at Disney World, where the ice cream is shaped like a mouse's head - at Disney World, where children run rampant without any parental control and Dave will bite his tongue so hard that it bleeds...at DISNEY WORLD!!!!
Mtchbx20: Where I will have gas and Jan races for the fast pass....at Disney World
blondie: Where the lines are long, and Dave scratches his dong...at Disney World
Mtchbx20: Where Wong will sleep late and Jan will be first at the gate...at Disney World!
Mtchbx20: Where Jan runs for the fastest route and Rima yells "biscoot"...at Disney World!
blondie: Where everyone gets tan, and birds fly at Jan, at Disney World!
Mtchbx20: where Jason drinks his German ale and Jan is still pale...at Disney World!

<Phone rings>
�106? What area code is that?� � Jan
�Is that like the first area code ever??? Plymouth is calling?� � Dave
�It�s the Pilgrims calling to invite me for Thanksgiving.� � Jan

There were so many fantastic entries on the list this year that I decided to continue with the random mix of awards that went out last year to single out some of the unique hilarity that these individuals created. This next batch of awards are: The WHAT?!, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, OH MY GOD THIS PERSON ACTUALLY SAID THIS, GOOD LORD, NOT SURE HOW TO RESPOND, SOUNDS SEXUAL BUT ISN'T, HUH?, and YOU HAD TO BE THERE Awards!

THE WHAT?! AWARD :
MR. JASON H!
�Don�t you wish your cod piece was tan like mine?� � Jason, singing

�Bonito gato la casa!� � Jason, to Maui

THE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW AWARD :
MR. WONG!

�See? Age does not matter.� � Jan
�That�s what I said and I STILL got arrested.� � Wong
�I bet she�s a freak in bed!� � Wong, about the White Witch

�Wow, you�re fast!� � Jan, to Wong coming out of the bathroom
�I just had to pee, I wasn�t, like, whacking off or whatever.� � Wong

THE OH MY GOD THIS PERSON ACTUALLY SAID THIS AWARD MALE :
MR. JEFFREY H!

�I just remember her arms were like fur-covered animals. I can only imagine what her legs or other regions were like.�

�You don�t want to buy a David?� � Jan
�Anytime I want to see the David, I just look down.�

THE OH MY GOD THIS PERSON ACTUALLY SAID THIS AWARD FEMALE:
MS. SARA G!

�God wouldn't have given us maracas if he didn't want us to shake'em.�

THE GOOD LORD! AWARD :
MR. JEFFREY H!

�What ever happened to Susan Powter?� � Sara
�Is that the sister of the guy in that movie Powder?�

THE NOT SURE HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS AWARD :
MS. LAUREN K!

�What does Heidi Klum smell like? Breast milk.�

�If Matthew McConaughey were to come into Chuck�s, I would, like, hump his leg.�

THE SOUNDS SEXUAL BUT ISN'T AWARD :
MR. DAVID B!

�It�s okay, it has a hole in it, you can suck it.� � to Rima about her stir

THE HUH? AWARD :
MS. LISA T!

�In the name of Ron Howard, I think that boy just crapped his pants!�

�Look at the bunny! Or the jackalope. I can�t tell, I don�t have my glasses on.�

THE YOU HAD TO BE THERE AWARD :
MS. RIMA K!

�Rima, roll over.� � Jan, to Rima, who was snoring
�Are you gonna cut me open now?�

This next award was created lastyear after discovering just how fitting it is for our winner! She is a repeat winner, and deservedly so!

THE ONE-LINER AWARD :
MS. SARA G!

�If they could fry up a rake, I�d eat it.� � Dave
�I�d rather eat a hoe, but that�s just me.�

�We�re watching the Teen Choice Awards because Jason wants to see KFed perform.� � Jan
�He�s just hoping for a secret Spice Girls reunion.�

�What are your thoughts on Nick Lachey?� � Jan
�He can have what�s left of me��

�They went into this store and it was just shelves and shelves of dildos!� � Jan, horrified
�Sounds like my Friday night.�

Okay folks, here we are - the top 3 awards! The winners are no surprise!

This year's
FUNNIEST MALE
is...
MR. DAVID B!

This year's
FUNNIEST FEMALE
is...
MS. SARA G!

And now, the final award of the evening. This award has been given to the same winner for the past 4 years, but this year, there is actually a NEW recipient!

The prestigious 2007 GOLDEN JANNY award goes to...

MR. DAVID B.
with 39 appearances!

Unbelievable! This is the FIRST win for MR. DAVID B. in this category!

THREE CHEERS FOR DAVE!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's it! The 2007 Jannies are over! Props to all the winners, and all those who made the list overall! Be sure to drive safely and come back frequently! And remember, Jan is always on the look out for the next FUNNY!

Sad about not winning, or confused about who won? Check out the entire 2006-2007 list here!

Partied too much and just want to go home?
Click here!

Scroll down for a VERY important message regarding the future of the Funny List...

Listen up, funny people!

To help SAVE the Funny List from becoming EXTINCT!

This year's list, although funny, was only 9 PAGES LONG! The past years' lists have been typically 15-20! This means I NEED YOU to help me keep the Funny List alive! Be sure to wow the crowd with your witty banter, and KEEP THOSE FUNNIES COMING! This new list is the 10th ANNIVERSARY LIST! We cannot let the list die now! It is more important than EVER to be on our funniest behavior! So keep those funnies safely coming and don't stop until you get the laugh! YOU CAN DO IT!

Take me HOME so I can read past Funny Lists and BECOME INSPIRED!

Take me to the NEW LIST so I can see what has ALREADY made the Anniversary List!

As always, awards are based on reaction of Funny List creator, and mathematical number of times appearing on the list. No animals were harmed in the creation of the list, or awards, but animals may have been used as part of the joke.Thank you to the citizens of Maryland, Massachussetts, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut for your generousity during the creation of the list. The Janny Awards are a trademarked program, and any similarities between this awards show, and any awards show living or dead is coincidental. Please address any and all comments or questions to Janny. Thank you.
@ 2007 JanHo Productions.

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