Most Random Male
Mr. Jon T!
�I hope they all tear their ACL�s walking home.� � Jon, as Jan banishes him from saying he hopes Duke fans die.
Most Random Female
Ms. Lori D!
�Is that a dead cow over there? Oh it�s just sand bags.� � Lori, to herself
Most Random IM Funny
Ms. Jen C!
SpecialA: it's not like you're asking me to do it naked while spinning a basketball on my finger
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The next award goes to the people who are most visually creative when being funny. Their attention to detail and use of strong adjectives help win them this award. One of these categories is making Janny history tonight! For the first time ever, we have a tie for a Janny: Most Visually Creative Funny Female! Congratulations, ladies!
Most Visually Creative Funny Male
Mr. David B!
Mtchbx: you, me, and Lauren! :-)
Mtchbx: and your mom
Mtchbx: me and the kochanov women
Blondie: hahaha
Blondie: sounds like a sitcom
Blondie: Dave and the Ko Ho's
Mtchbx: taking place in SOHO
Mtchbx: sippin on some jojo
Mtchbx: twirling a yoyo
Mtchbx: but J-KO must watch out for BoBo the dancing hobo
Mtchbx: Lauren can be a gogo
Mtchbx: and your mom's main transportation is a pogo
Most Visually Creative Funny Female
Ms. Rima K!
Rima: okay, then can you please explain the dream where i was dating chris tucker and he was a really bad kisser, and we were in my basement, except it was over an ocean....and his tongue was moving in this oddly rapid motion
Rima: so i don't understand it
Rima: but that's disgusting
AND
Ms. Abby B!
abby: i had the craziest dream last night. i was in an elevator in a hotel, and this old woman started writing on me with a blue grease pencil. i asked someone i was with what she was writing, and apparently she was writing the mark of the devil on me over and over and over again. i remember running away from her, but she followed me and kept writing it on me. very odd
abby: oh, and by the way, how are you?
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The next award goes to the person who is funny for being
his or her cute self!
Cutest Funny
Ms. Abby B!
�My Kool-Aid brings all the boys to the yard�� � Abby
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The Jannys have created a new category this year:
Best Musical Funny
Mr. David B!
�Piddle, piddle on the wall, who�s gonna get their ass beat when Dad gets home?�� � Dave, i.e. Mirror, mirror
Mtchbx: I love Jan...she loves me...we play mario constantly...with a bitch slap ass...give a dog a bone...this old man came home all stoned.
�It�s like the porno version of �The Sound of Music��Ho in the rear, a female rear�� � Dave, singing
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Sometimes it takes more than one person to truly create a classic funny.
Best Combination Funny
Mr. Jeffrey W and Ms. Jan K!
Blondie: we definitely SHOULD go
Blondie: In fact, let's make a date for Saturday
JW: ooo janny
Blondie: NO SEX
Blondie: I'm sorry, Wongy, I'm taken
JW: haha
JW: i don't go on dates to have sex janny
JW: what kind of person do you think i am?
Blondie: gay?
JW: it was a rhetorical question
JW: cause i do like sex on the first date
JW: with girls
JW: who have boobs and a vigina
JW: and a cute face
JW: silky smooth hair
JW: and smells nice
Blondie: Um, only you could spell "vagina" wrong. Are you sure you're straight?
JW: so if i called .... "janny, lets go running"
Blondie: I'd say "Get lost Wongy, I'm having an erotic dream about you"
JW: then i'd say, "cool, open the door and i'll join you in bed cause i'm here"
JW: <ding, dong>
Blondie: hahaha
Blondie: <wong dong>
Blondie: kind of like Wan Ton, but with a stiffer noodle
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The next set of Jannys are the WHAT?!, the Coke-Through-The-Nose, the I-Don't-Want-To-Know, the Oh-My-God-I-Actually-Know-This-Person, and the Sounds-Sexual-But-Isn't awards. They're all pretty self-explanatory...
The WHAT?! Award
Ms. Sara G!
�If I ever meet Tori Spelling, I�d go to jail for kicking her ass,� � Sara
�That should be on a t-shirt.� � Jan
�Yeah, sure, it�d be in Polish, but �Tori Spelling� would be the same.� � Sara
�Cause I, too, am a garden gnome, tap tap tapping on your window. Except I�d be dressed like Glinda the Good Witch.� � Sara
�Well, all drugs can be dope. It�s like how, all ducks are birds, but not all birds are ducks.� � Sara
The Coke-Through-The-Nose Award
Ms. Autumn W!
"Remember when she said she was related to Robert E. Lee?" - Jan
"Wait, isn't he black?" - Autumn
"No..." - Jan
"Wasn't there a Lee who was black?" - Autumn
"Uhhh..." - Jan
"Great, it's Black History Month and I'm all 'Go Robert E. Lee!' and everyone just looks at me...they probably think I'm a white supremacist!" � Autumn
The I-Don�t-Want-To-Know Award
Ms. Kirsten E!
�Anal bead!� � Dave, to the TV
�Buttplug!� � Kirsten
<cue gross reaction from Jan>
�I was thinking about your sister!� � Kirsten
The Oh-My-God-I-Actually-Know-This-Person Award
Ms. Lisa T!
LMT: we took the kids outside to play the other day and I got to make snow angels
LMT: actually, we were on a baseball field...so I was all excited that we were making "Angels in the Outfield"
The Sounds-Sexual-But-Isn�t Award
Mr. Jason H!
�Yes, but when it�s in your ear, it IS that big!� � Jason
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Although the people that make the funny list are all considered funny, there are times when people who aren't trying end up making history with their witty comments and quips.
Most Unintentionally Funny Male
Mr. Jason H!
�You are alternative lifestyle.� � Jason�s substitution for �you are gay�
Most Unintentionally Funny Female
Ms. Lauren K!
�You know what movie I watch every time it�s on, even though it�s not that good?� � Jan
�Showgirls?� � Lauren, guiltily
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No one on the list is any less of a winner than anyone else. That's why the good people of the Funny List like to recognize those individuals who only made a single entry on the list. Despite their small contribution, the laughter they created was large, and they deserve to be recognized.
Honorable Mention Male
Mr. Rob D!
Honorable Mention Female
Mrs. Linda K!
Ms. Kirsten E!
Ms. Heather A!
Ms. Jessica K!
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Well folks, the three biggest and most prestigious awards remain, so let's get to them.
This year's Funniest Male is...
Mr. David B!
This year's Funniest Female is...
Ms. Sara G!
The final award of the evening goes to the hilarious individual who set the record for the most funnies on the list. This year, the winner is no surprise, nabbing this honor for the 3rd year in a row!
This year's "Golden Janny " goes to...
Ms. Sara G!
with 70 appearances!
The good people at the Jannys would also like to take a second to recognize the repeat winners from last year:
Mr. David B
Ms. Lori D
Ms. Kirsten E
Ms. Sara G
Mr. Jason H
Ms. Rima K
Mrs. Linda K
Ms. Lisa T
Mr. Jon T
Also, congratulations to those who are first time winners tonight:
Ms. Abby B
Ms. Jen C
Ms. Lauren K
Ms. Autumn W
Mr. Jeffrey W
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THE FUNNY LIST!
Check out the whole 2004-2005 list!
@ 2005 JanKo Productions.