| :[mood]:  very, very, very exhausted
Ugghhhhhhhhh. Oh my gosh today just felt like it was 5 days or something. What is today? Let's see I was awake 'till 1 a.m. Didn't start a paper yet that was due today. Aaah I was so disctraced and I just couldn't concentrate. Okay so I was just like slowly moving towards my bed and was just like 'all i'm gonna do is lie down and gather everything together in my mind, with my eyes open and listen to some third eye blind music.' Next thing I know I fell asleep. I don't know what happened after that but everything in my room was on- lights, lamp, computer, cd player. I was going to set my alarm 'cause all I wanted to do was take like an hour nap. Okay I don't remember anything during that time...I usually sleep facing the other way in my bed but this time my head was right next to the window. You know how you make yourself half asleep 'cause you know something still needs to be done? So I just opened my eyes and lifted my head and I was like 'oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' The sky was changing colors already! It was 5:30 a.m.! Freck I jumped out of bed, well after awhile it took my eyes to adjust 'cause my contacts were still in and all the lights and stuff were still on, and I still had that stinking paper to due.
Finished my paper and studied for a quiz. Note-I failed my quiz! :( Urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay you know when you have multiple choice and you circle one answer but then you cross it out and circle another answer but the first answer you circled was right???? Well, that's what I did. Oh my gosh I can't believe that! I hate that!!!!! There goes like 7% of my grade. Uhm it's like holocaust rememberance week or something. Went to a lecture today. An hour and a half about some boring guy talking. I'm sorry he was just so boring! He has a book out and it was as if he was reading out of the book the whole time. Classes...went out with my friends to eat some yummy food...back to school at 6 p.m. for some film show that was 2 1/2 freckin' hours. Oh my gosh that was soooooooo boring, too! I have respect for all the wrongs in the world and whatever they were showing in that video but oh come on it was just soooooooo long and the chairs were horribly uncomfortable!!!!!! My butt hurts soooo bad right now. Only plus side? I sat next to a really cute guy. ;) heeheehee.
Didn't get out of there 'till around 8:30 at night. The campus is pretty nice walking around this time since the weather was also very pleasant. Gave it a nice campus feel. Okay i'm tired! Got to my dorm and there's a person in the front who swipes your school id. Anywayz there was these 2 guys before me and if you want to bring in somebody who doesn't live in the dorm, they have to be checked in. So one guy was checking in his friend. As the (whatever they call those students sitting behind the counter) counter person was signing in the friend, the guy who lives in the dorm was like staring at me. I was sooo tired so I was just looking down then when I looked up, I saw him and I smiled. Looked back down again and when I looked up, he was still staring at me. Now this time I looked at him and we were looking at each other for a couple of seconds which is weird. Oh yeah what even made it more weird is the counter person retard is kind of enclosed in like plastic glass and the guy who was staring at me was halfly behind that glass. Anyways while those couple of long seconds passed by (it really did feel long) we continued to stare. Then his friend was done being checked in so they left. Okay i'm not exaggerating at that part. Honestly the guy was really cute and I noticed him before I got to the door. I can still see his face in my mind. Dern that was really, really weird.
| | | 9:44 pm - |
| :[mood]:  aaah
Freck. Procrastination. That word should not have been invented. See now that I know it, I use it. Dern! I have a stinking paper due tomorrow and a quiz! alafaiafmzcoice. Okay so i'm addicted to that colorgenics.com thing. Let's analyze what it had to say for me today:
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
Bleh, bleh, bleh. Oh my gosh? I like the way they put this instead of my way- I want a cute guy!!! haha The above sounds better. Okay yes in love and that kind of relationship is nice but i'm also looking for just a close and deep relationship with anybody not necessarily a love-kind relationship you know? Okay let's move on:
In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.
What??? Okay I don't know about that past thing...or setting my sights on a situation...or do I? Is it college? Answer me! haha:
The way things are at this time it is necessary to 'go slow'. All the pleasures that you have anticipated should be left in abeyance until some future date, but all is not lost, you are able to derive and achieve considerable gratification from someone quite close to you.
Go slow. Sure that's halfly my motto:
You are on tenterhooks and appear to be extremely nervous and upset. You are bored and you feel that life has far more to offer than this present day mundane existence. The way that you feel indicates that you have the need for a responsive and understanding relationship. You are prepared to follow up any opportunity which may present itself. However you are very choosy and you refuse to be swept off your feet unless integrity can proved to be 100% genuine. Therefore you are holding back, keeping your emotions in check because before you let down your guard you have to be sure. You are too trusting and you have no desire to be hurt again. You are responsive to conditions around you - but forever under control.
Whoa, whoa, whoa what? Dern these words are pretty well put together. Yeah...sure I guess I can agree to what was said. What? What is this relationship deal all of a sudden? I like the last sentence of the above paragraph.
You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.
heehee that's right. College is holding me down I say!
You are completely worn out and you are not in the mood for any further demands on your resources. The situation - such as it is - has rendered you quite helpless, unable to continue the mental battle that you have been pursuing for some considerable time. Enough is enough. All you would like to do now would be to have some time for yourself, to find a peaceful situation where you can recuperate in your own time.
Exactly. But can I do that? Not with college biting me at the heels. Yes, believe me every sense of my body just feels so tired and worn out. Mental battle yes, definitely. I'm sure some people I know out there have seen a little bit of that battle. :p Time by myself? Sometimes that ain't good when i'm left alone with my thoughts. Unless I don't think. Which is what's happening now and it ain't helpin' now 'cause I have uhm...a lotta work to do. Okay enough of this for now. Must work...
| | 9:51 pm - | |
| :[mood]:  hmm
Eh. I'm retarded. I have nothing to write right now but I want to write you now? No, you don't. :p'. Okay so. I think people are interesting. Nah really? It's kinda funny (well not really) when you look at people and they just seem to be so consumed in their world. It's like I get this vibe that they think the whole world revolves around them. But I shouldn't concern myself with them. They can just be so mean sometimes. :\ Anyways, of course different people, different things. Can't always expect people to fit in this *mold* even though they are living, breathing human beings. Does any one understand what i'm talking about? Probably not. Okay today i'm reflecting on 4 people in my lives who i've "talked" to. It makes me think of this gopher story.
There was a time where all these gophers lived together in the desert. But one day there was an earthquake and the earth opened up. Some gophers were on the top of the mountain. The others were down in the plateau. As time went on, the gophers in the mountain tended to be nice, tame little gophers while the ones down in the plateau were mean, ferocious gophers. I don't know if I told this story right but point is these groups of gophers are the same gophers that lived together before the earthquake. What happened? Hmm. I don't think I can answer that. Well, if you can, you deserve a prize!
| | | 7:52 pm - |
| :[mood]:  very, very sleepy
Well, I supposedly just woke up from a nap. Hmm a 5 hour nap. And only because my dad just called. hehe. Ugh...My friend Mark left stinking early this morning. Around 6 a.m. or so. So I had to get out of my nice, warm, cozy bed to help him with his stinking luggage and say good-bye. :P'. Yes, it was nice having a friend stay with me. Kept me sane for the time being. Why is it so dern cold? See *that's* why I sleep long. It's cold outside and my bed is the most comfortable thing in the world. Who wouldn't sleep like any time she could? *Yawn* I wonder if I should eat dinner now or go back to sleep? lalala I think I should eat before I die again. So ends another journal entry. Wooooo.
| | | 11:28 pm - |
| :[mood]:  freezing my butt off!
It's mid-May. Can you believe it was in the 30s today???? The rain never ceased. And on top of that, the wind was blowing like crazy and it was just dern cold. Bleh weather! I can't believe it. Well, even on this crummy day, my friend Mark and I went out into the cold cruel world. ;) Ate breakfast at this really nice cafe 'bout 15 minutes from my school. Then went to the Prudential and we just wanted to go up the building or something. Went to about the 50th floor but couldn't see anything 'cause of the clouds! So back down we went. I then took him to Boston Commons which is a big park. But not *nearly* as nice as the park in front of my dorm. :) Okay blah-more rain... We followed the freedom trail! Or half of it...went through the park, down the cemetary where we saw like Samuel Adams, John Hancock, Benjamin Franklin's parents, and a bunch of other people. Now this was pefect for this rainy day. And then we stopped by this store that was liquidating their stuff or whatever so I tried on some dresses. :) heehee. They were so nice but I know i'll never use them. :( I only bought this one dark green dress. Woooo. Now i'm back in my room and stinking Mark is sleeping in my nice warm bed while i'm trying to do my homework. What's up mo fo! hahahaha...east coast is getting to me yo!
| | | 7:25 pm - |
| :[mood]:  cRaZy
Oh my gosh i can't express how much college has made me crazy! Ohh so many factors can go into the contribution of my craziness. Can't sum up everything just yet 'cause it ain't even close to over...haha i'm just taking a "study" break so I just felt like typing this right now. Yeah but what I am greatful for is all the people in my lives who have stayed in my lives and have respected me. Hmm. Too mushy! Man it's raining outside and I heard it's gonna be in the 40s tomorrow. Waaaa I wanna go back home already! Hmm. Makin' this short 'cause the last couple of journal entries have been waaay too long. Well, here's a look at my schedule from now 'till I go back. This week: my friend Mark visits me. Only staying with me for a couple of days but it seems like a whole week 'cause i'm gonna have to catch up and stuff with my school work 'cause the next week my mom's coming for my birthday. Now she'll be staying a whole week. That's why i'm feeling a little harassed right now 'cause I have to get like 2 weeks of work done *now.* Then the week after my mom leaves is my last day of classes. Then after that is finals then guess who's coming back home? :) Here's Johnny!
| | | 6:13 pm - |
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