Friday, March 14, 2003

:[mood]: wooo

Heading back to that little island in the middle of the ocean. Quite excited I must say. Again not looking forward to that dern 10-hour flight not including stinking layovers. Ah well. Had a chill day just spending time with my roommates and walking around our little campus. hehe 2 of my roommates went to a tanning place. I just thought that was funny 'cause I couldn't comprehend there being a tanning place since you can just lie anywhere in Hawaii for free. Ahhh differences here on the east coast and back home. I'm excited to see my friends back home who stayed home for college. Different vibe and all when I go back and see the people back there. But yeah. Kind of hard to explain. Just a feeling once again.

Oh my freckin gosh. Seriously this is so freaky. I always read my horoscope everyday and here is what it said. Gemini: You'll get what you deserve- but will it be what you think you deserve? Your perceptions may have been out of whack lately. Okay amen to that! That could not be more dead on! *refer to first sentence of previous journal entry. I can't even explain. How weird is it that my horoscope is exactly what i've been feeling this past week? Eeeesh! Amanda's a believer! Yeah!

Anyways. I think i'm going to sleep late so I either don't wake up for my flight tomorrow or sleep through the whole airplane ride. haha. Well, hope everyone has a good couple of days or so. I know not everybody is going on a break. :\ But yeah. Smile. :) heh.

:[mood]: ...

I don't know what's been up with me lately. I've been letting the smallest shiet affect me. Don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah I really gotta get into that habit. But yeah. Life is complicated a heck of a lot of times. But what can you do? I say just freckin enjoy it. That's what i'm gonna do. haha Whatevers. I'm thanking my lucky stars to the people who actually stick by my side when I get into crazy shiet butt moods. Whatevers to that again. Yeah...

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

:[mood]: ug

Freckin drama. I'm supposed to be studying for my astronomy final here. Okay weak attempt of me to make a joke. Anyway. Miscommunication yet again. Why does that always seem to happen? People think i'm talking about them but i'm not...I mostly blame it on the computer and what not because you can't tell what a person is thinking and feeling through typed words. I hate that. Oh well but what can you do?

Actually I typed that stuff above earlier today and i'm feeling something different right now. Oy. My roommate said- 'don't get your hopes up and don't underestimate anybody.' Don't underestimate anybody, yes. Actually i'm looking more as of right now that people are very unpredictable. Anyway again I don't know what is the point (geez what is the point of anything now a days?) to me writing right now. On that note I am going to freckin lie down because my head freckin hurts and freckin freckin freckin.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

:[mood]: tired

Mmmm I just woke up from a lovely nap. I know I got a lot to do before I leave and I think it's tiring me out. I had some weird communication things this morning. Actually it's just all coming out. I guess just like me having this journal and some stuff on my aim profile confused quite a lot of people. Confused...I don't know. It was just kind of shady. So yeah. Went to the library today. Oh I got to put up my horoscope for today.

Gemini: There's definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. I like that. Okay so i'm going to interpret that into a lot of things in my life right now. I'm trying to talk broadly here because when people read my stuff they probably form some things in their minds that has nothing to do with what is actually in my mind.

First off I thought that there was some awkward stuff between a "friend" and me. But I don't think there is after seeing him today. And then there was something between me and another person I didn't think mattered but apparently it did to that person. I'm sorry. Again i'm being very broad. No one probably knows what i'm talking about. Okay so i'm going to stop and get something to eat now...

:[mood]: ...

I just have to write right now. It's just taken me so long and so many tears to realize that things are not going to work out the way I want it to. I have just been sitting, staring into nothing for the past half hour. Right now i'm thinking when did I fall so deep into...into these deep feelings for someone? Through him i've been feeling sad, upset, angry, happy...basically just a mix of emotions. We haven't talked to each other, I don't know why, since last Thursday. A day that meant so much to me... Honestly if I didn't believe in something so much I wouldn't put in the time, effort, and my heart into it. But (but) if the feelings aren't being reciprocated, then I should just stop right? But I cannot. I cannot. I fell for him, I fell very hard...

Monday, March 10, 2003

:[mood]: need break

Yeah. That's supposedly me typing away on this stinking paper but i'm not as happy. *note to self- do not cram for things. Ug I have like an 8-page paper on Russian organized crime due on Wednesday. And I just started today. And this is sooo boring so i'm taking a break yo. Uhm got finals this week and then i'm heading back home on Saturday! Woo-freckin-woo! I seriously need a break...hahaha. Yeah I had like a really great couple of days starting on Thursday...

Let's see... On Saturday my friend's family was flying in from Chicago and they wanted to take all my roommates and our guy friends out to dinner. We went to this Italian restaurant and there was about 17 of us. That was a really nice dinner. Then we said good-bye to her parents and took her cousin out clubbing. Ohhh clubbing was so mad fun. There was about a group of 15 of us who went. The club was surprisingly pretty much empty. Our group pretty much owned that place. haha. Ohhh everybody had so much fun! Not because we were drunk but...eh it was interesting haha.

The place closed at 2 am and I got seperated from my roommates and they went back home and I went with some of my other girl friends to the guys place. We were all pretty much wired most of the night. Mad fun. Ended up staying over because it was already like 3:30 am. haha Uh...didn't sleep 'till about 5 am. Yeah. Woooo very, very fun night...

On Sunday I got back to my place at around noon and I think slept again the rest of the afternoon. Had tickets to some...interesting show that's all the talk here. Uh...yeah haha. My friend bought the tickets so we didn't know what to expect. All I can say is full frontal nudity. Oooh! haha. Ohhh it was just weird. So yeah that was my fun-filled Sunday.

Okay that's about it. Must get back to freckin cramming...

Saturday, March 08, 2003

:[mood]: what day is it...

I think it's Saturday right? Gosh dern it. Anyway haha. Yesterday was Friday. Very good, Amanda. Last day of classes for the quarter. Wooo!! Did some stuff around campus in the morning. Then got back to my place and was pretty bored and wanted to do something. My roommates weren't around so my friend and I went to the shopping mall. Went at around 4. Yeah I just realized I never really went shopping with a guy. It was just me and him. Yeah. His roommates and my roommates are all very close. So this was just like weird how it was just the two of us. Weird in a good way. We shopped a bit then ended up at the food court and we just sat and talked for quite awhile. Left the mall at about 7:30. Took the subway back. Said good-bye to my friend then went back to my apartment.

My roommate's cousin was visiting so we took her out to dinner. It was pretty dern cold outside and we freckin walked about 20 minutes to eat at TGI Fridays. Oh my gosh it was such a long walk. Had a nice dinner with just the girls. Then we walked again and had ice cream despite the 20 degree weather or so. Fun thing about Boston is you can walk everywhere or take the subway or a cab. So yeah. Got back to our place at about 10.

Then we went to our guy friends place (the one I went shopping with) and we just chilled there. There were quite a few people there. hehe. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to stop drinking only for the fact that I am freckin getting a beer belly! haha...ewl...so not nice. Yuck. Yeah. Blah blah blah got back to our place at 3am. I had a good day.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

:[mood]: heh

I must say I had an interesting day today. Had a class at 8 am. Ended at 9:30-ish and I met up with my friend because she wanted me to come with her to downtown to get a cell phone. So we get there and nothing opens until 10 am. Well, actually my favorite clothing store is open so it's cold outside and we wait in there...hahaha right. I end up...uh...buying quite a few spring clothes. Geez I couldn't help myself. It started flurrying outside. So then we went to T Mobile. We were there for awhile. Stinking shopaholic Amanda bought a new cell phone case. 'But they were having a winter blow-out sale.' hehe.

By now it was snowing. Blew my mind because just last night was 40s and now it was snowing. Get back to campus at about noon. Have some lunch and just watch the snow blow like crazy. My friend goes to class. Then I wait for 4 pm to come because my friend asked me to go to a performance for his music theory class...

It was in this place in our student center. There was a stage and the people there were from his music theory class and maybe a few other people. Very small group. And I was one of them. I first walked in and he smiled and waved at me. Then his group went on stage. I watched him play...amazing...

Uhm...i'm going to say it meant a lot to me that he asked me to go and I went. So when he was done I told him what a great job he did and he packed up his guitar and I waved at him and said bye and left with my friends. We hung outside in the snow for a bit because my friend's boyfriend came and they were talking. Her boyfriend and me were playing and throwing snow at each other and he slipped on some ice and fell flat on his back. hahaha!

So her boyfriend left and my friend and I were just standing around outside. Then my friend came up behind me and said 'thanks again for coming. did you enjoy it?' I told him 'no, you sucked.' haha. I really said that. hehe. And then he left. And I don't know if it was the snow falling...or I don't know...but I could not stop smiling. It was just this feeling that over came me. I parted with my friend and walked slowly back in the snow to my dorm.

It was still snowing outside at about 6 pm, so I figured I would go out for a walk because I was in this certain mood and some feelings came about in me. So taking walks helps me...I don't know. Yeah. heh. Okay so I just walk out of my dorm and i'm on the main street-ish. It's like snowing like all in my face. I see this car slow down and the window was down and the driver leans over then goes to me 'niiiiiiice...' haha So i'm like wha? 'cause i'm thinking and shiet and I turn around and laugh and smile to him. He was pretty cute. That moment made me smile thankfully.

Okay. So that was kind of funny so I continue walking to the subway stop when this other car comes up behind me and like the windows are rolled down and 4 guys are like 'jenn jenn!' and I turn around and yell at them 'i'm not jenn!' Man it was just a totally random car day for me. :p'.

So yeah. That was my interesting day...mmmm...got some things on my mind... *sigh*

:[mood]: yeah...

It's nice to know that I rub off on people in some ways. My roommate said she was going to sleep so I turn off the lights, close the door and go to the bathroom. I come back and the lights are on and she's sitting up on her bed writing. I'm like 'didn't you say you were going to sleep?' and she said she was but she just had to write. I must say my roommate never does anything like this. Then she said I must've rubbed off on her and she described me as someone who loves to write. So I thought that was just really cool because I do love to write. :)

Oh and then there's me and song lyrics. I always have lyrics in my aim profile that I change often to fit my mood and I put some up on my website. And now about 3 of my friends put up song lyrics in their aim profiles. heh. Not like they're copying me or anything... :p'.

And then there's the words I say. I didn't know I say some words a lot like 'dern, freck, woooooo.' hehe My roommates and I now always go wooo whenever we're happy and what not and I don't know. It's just funny I guess.

Yeah that's about it. I'm hungry. Come to think of it...I haven't had dinner...hmmm...hehe i'm outs!

Monday, March 03, 2003

:[mood]: oy

Responsibility. Why is that so hard to get into my thick little head??? There is such a thing as responsible fun. There is, there is, there is. Responsibility is not even a negative word. I am learning so many different branches of responsibility right now. Learning from your mistakes is good but being responsible so those mistakes don't happen is better. It is always good to be prepared. I say you know even though i'm out here in Boston with my parents paying a heap load of money for my "education," I have been totally getting an education money couldn't buy and I think that is so worth it. It's not just the things I do but it's just everything within me that's forming and taking place as I do things. My thought process and my actions in doing things have all changed. Not for the better right now...right right now...

Oy living with myself. I keep changing and growing way too fast. But you know, tomorrow's another day. Let me sleep right now...

Sunday, March 02, 2003

:[mood]: yeah

Well, I think a lot of people I know read my boring shiet of a journal. haha. Kind of bad I think...oh well for me. Not like much goes on in my life anyway. Went to a party on Friday night at a friends place. Yeah enough said on that subject. hahahahaha. I seriously = retarded. Yes. Anyways. I hate this New England weather. Makes me sick every other week. So I basically stayed in the rest of the weekend. Oh but I did go outside when the stinking fire alarm went off at freckin 3:32am in the morning. Horrible! Yeah that's about it. Classes are almost over! Woooo! Totally in anticipation to get back home to Hawaii! Woooooo on that. Yeah. Now I must go study so I can gets the good grades and have a kick-butt break!

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