Sunday, February 09, 2003

:[mood]: oh hels yeah!

I had *the most* kick butt weekend ever!!!!!!!! My friend from Hawaii who goes to school in New York visited me this past weekend! She is my only good friend up here with me on the east coast. First time she visited me also...well, first time any of my friends visited me. haha. Oh gosh so awesome! hehe. She brought 2 of her friends from her college. I've never met them before but they were totally awesome. :) On Friday it pretty much snowed the whole freckin day so I stayed in all day. Most snow we've had this year...or since i've been in Boston. My friends came at around 9pm-ish. :) And then dropped off their bags in my dorm room then headed out to a partay!!!!!!!

Ohhh party was fun!!!!!! At a friend's place. Between us 4 girls we finished off a bottle of Parrot Bay in less than an hour. Yeah we were pretty bad. I know I was since I tend to freckin mix hard alcohol with beer! Don't do that me! But anyway...hehehe. Uh...kind of fuzzy the rest of the night...yeah I had to end up staying at my friend's place...haha.

Then Saturday I brought them to downtown crossing which has like outside shops. We shopped like crazy! So mad fun. Haven't shopped like that in such a loooooong time. Yeah we were carrying a freck load of shopping bags. Okay no more shopping spree for me 'till next month. :} Got back to our place early evening. Chilled at our place then we got ready to go to a bar/club. It's kind of where like all the Northeastern kids hang out. So yeah. Went to a friend's apartment and chilled there for a bit and waitied for some people to show up so we could all go together. Freck by the time we got to that place it was 11:30-ish.

That place was okay. Actually it didn't really matter 'cause I love to dance! And the place was just full of college people so that was interesting. I mean like anyway nobody really cared that you were drinking and what not. I mean we just went up to the bar and had like shots (ooooh watermelon shots!) and just carrying a beer on the dance floor. But nah I didn't drink that much 'cause of what happened to me last night haha. Ohhh I love dancing!

Well...haha i'm just going to freckin say everything because i'm retarded like that. My pal who visited me and I danced with these 2 guys. And they were nice. Went to Northeastern, same year, and what not. Okay I can't believe the place closes at 2am. Who closes at 2am???? So we all had to get out. We were with a bunch of friends so we took 3 cab rides back to their place and chilled there some more. hahahaha. Okay I think I should stop now! We left that place at probably 3am-ish.

Okay and then my friend and I totally had a bonding moment! Great great memories were made. We basically stayed up the whole night...and yeah...hahahaha! Then we had one of those movie type scenes where we walked like 2 blocks to have breakfast in this little quaint coffee shop and just talked about a certain subject. A certain mature and important discussion! hahahaha!!!!! Ohhh it was soooooooo great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had sooooo much fun and just so many memories....thanks to my pal and her friends for coming and just the wonderful memories from this past weekend!!!!!! What's that? Oh HELS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 06, 2003

:[mood]: wooo

I was thinking about signs and how you know things that are just not merely coincidences. I mean...fate...that`s to be debatable, but like you know just happening to be standing at this one spot and see the person who has been on your mind lately that you haven`t seen for awhile. Or you know just the little things. I kind of do. I refuse to brush them off as merely coincidences. Oh but i'm not like one of those people who's like `it's raining! It's a sign I shouldn't go out.' haha. Noooo. :p`.

Ooooh and dreams are another thing. I think dreams do mean something. They're just really hard to figure out. Last night I had a series of 4 dreams. I woke up and then went back to sleep etc. and new dreams started. I would say my dream dealt with past, present, and future but I had 4. Briefly:

~1st: I was dreaming in reality. I dreamt that I was asleep and feeling sick like I was when I went to sleep that night. Then I suddenly shot out of bed and my friend was sitting at the foot of my bed. Not in a scary way. Just sitting there. He didn't say word and neither did I and I just fell back asleep 'cause I was sick. So that was the first one. I think I have an idea of what that dream symbolizes. It's the way I see that person in my life but anyway.
~2nd: The sharks. Basically there was a group of people and I was there and we were in the ocean and then sharks came so we all went up this 6 by 6 feet square tower that was only made up of beams. It went about 50 feet high. There were like 3 or 4 sharks and they kept trying to bite us but I think we were later rescued.
~3rd: I was at high school but it didn't look like my high school. I was late so I was sneaking in. Then I ran into a minister. And i'm like 'oh hi father.' And he asks me if I read these 2 letters he sent to me. They were supposedly important but i'm like 'oh they must still be in my mailbox.' Okay yeah that's about it.
~4th: I think I was in a new place or something full of kids who didn't know me. So I was trying to create a new image of myself and I think trying to hit on hot guys. I thought I was doing a good job of having everybody like me then I came to this table of guys and for some reason they had this sheet of paper with my full name on top and like listed characteristics of why I was a dork or something. So they were all trying to vote on me. Somehow I got a negative vote. I'm like noooo and one guy said, not to me but another guy, 'she is really hot but (looks down at list of words supposedly about me) this is not.' Geez what the heck is that supposed to mean?

Okay weird weird weird. I know they mean something though! Must analyze...haha...

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

:[mood]: ug

It's only Tuesday? It feels...just much later. Prolly 'cause...yeah nevermind. Ha. Okay maybe I do do that a lot. So in the lovely world of Amanda, I have had a stomachache for the past 2 days! Wow how exciting. Ug I feel so yucky. In so many more ways than one. But yeah. That's about it. I'm tired because my retarded friend keeps waking me up. Ohhhh yeah. Ohhh tired...

Sunday, February 02, 2003

:[mood]: oh freck

I just realized that after some shiet I went through last night and now, that i'm kind of back to myself again. Earlier this afternoon I just wanted to get out and go for a walk. I haven't done that for like months now and that is highly unusual for me up here because before I would take walks at least every week. I believe it keeps me sane so I can just gather my thoughts and what not. So anyway despite it being snowy and rainy and slushy mess all over, I got my coat and went out. Went to the Prudential building which has offices and shops on the first floor.

So what did I get from my walk? Ha. There were 2 things I connected together in my life. Or sort of. I mean I always connect things in my life. So I believe I have a tendency to screw up good things. I don't know why. Or maybe it's because I don't think I deserve good things to happen in my life and be happy... For instance I did really well with school last year. I even got a certificate or something for getting such a good gpa and all and I don't even know where that certificate is which may be the first thing I actually received in terms of school achievement. I just didn't care for some d*mn reason.

Next. I may have this really great guy in my life and I am freckin turning away! Why?!?! No idea! Maybe I don't think I deserve him! Geez! I know I have a lot of good things in my life and i'm just screwing it up! Geez freckin louise. I'm not spazzing out or anything. So bad experiences may be going through my life and it`s bad at first but a good thing because it forces you to freckin learn and not do shiet like that again! And also don't over react to any situation. No situation ever needs over reacting to. Yes.

Okay so whatever. I'm halfly okay now. Just...yeah...

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

:[mood]: oh uh uhm yeah

Really my journal entries have been so retarded lately! I'm sorry I can't help it. :p'. I really just like to write even though I have nothing to write about at all. I keep like 50 quadrillion journals. Oh yeah if I put as much effort into writing nonsense stuff as I to doing my stinking homework. It's Wednesday. I have stinking night classes. You know what? To some extent right now I like my night classes just a wee bit better than my day classes. I mean like I don't know. Actually no I just take that back. I only like these night classes because they are something new that i've never experienced. You know how it goes. When you only like something because it's new and different.

So I am like seriously the youngest one in my night classes. Everyone else is like...40 and above. They're cool though. 'Cause it's like a different level of maturity and all and plus you don't have to worry if the cute guy sitting next to you is checking you out because hey the're probably all married! haha. Ewl. Yes. Got distracted in my morning Psychology class today. There was a cutie. hahaha. Yes, concentrate on school Amanda.

That's about it for right now. Woke up for my 8 am class (for once!) and I think i'm about due for a nap. The weather outside seems like it's getting nice. I actually walked to Dunkin Donuts. haha I haven't been there since last year. Temperature today? 18. haha For some reason it feels warmer than the past 2 days. Well, 18 and 3 is a difference...hehe... :)

Monday, January 27, 2003

:[mood]: sleepy

Weekend consisted of me staying in and yeah. Sucks being sick. And it actually sucks staying kooked up in an apartment for like 3 days. Man I should have at least gone out to the grocery and picked up some tissue boxes or something. Yes. Anyways. Okay enough of this pointless babble. Actually it's like 1 am and I have a class at 8 am. And i'm up- don't know why, and I just feel like writing/typing. Yes.

I've been here in Boston for a good 3 weeks. Wait I don't know if that's fast or slow...seems kind of slow. Seems like i've been here for a long time already. My quarter's kind of short. Just about 9 weeks. I want to go home already. haha. I think the weather is making my mood crummy. I think yes-yes. I'm a little distracted by some things but not really. What? Anyway. Okay no I think i'm confused. That's gonna be my word of the week. Or however long this is going to last. Let me say stinking Valentine's Day and all those chocolates and cute stuffed animals that are all displayed in the stores!

Okay I don't know where that came from. I'm really tired. Let me put up some song lyrics:

I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

Oh my gosh my mom actually did say that! haha. Okay I go sleep now... Oh wait you know what I just realized? All I had for dinner was a bowl of Fruit Loops cereal...geez louise...peace...

Saturday, January 25, 2003

:[mood]: haha

I gotta laugh at my past journal entries. They've just been so weird. haha. Well, I have been sick for the past 5 days so maybe that medicine does have some side affects on my brain. Right. Uhm yeah. So my days have basically consisted of me sleeping, going to the bathroom, sleeping, more sleeping, eating, taking medicine, and then sleeping. I think I went to class sometime between. I don't recall. Mannnn.

Okay reflections on myself. I think I have been very bitter the past couple of days. Makes for me writing good songs...or at least attempting to...my bitterness makes me unable to complete a whole song. haha. Okay nevermind. I think my journal entries are going to continue to be weird.

Thursday, January 23, 2003

:[mood]: crummy!

I must say I have been having the worst time since i've been back! And who said it was going to get any better? Not me. Apparently it's getting just a leetle bit worse. I've been sick for the past 3 days, i've taken medicine, gotten plenty of rest, skipped some classes, and I still feel the same. Miserable! And it doesn't help that it's like...I don't know... -10 degrees outside! Ack! And don't even get me started on my classes. I so feel like i'm destined to fail again! I'm in my 4th week of school already and just yesterday was the first time I went to one of my evening classes due to some scheduling problems or whatever. Anyway I go to the bookstore to buy books for my 2 evening classes and apparently they're not in stock and will be in stock on February 1. Hello!?!?!? Geez by that time I would have missed reading so many chapters and doing so much work! Oh my gosh stress...

So I don't see what the point is in chasing something... Wait no that doesn't make sense. I've just been chasing some things and now it just doesn't make sense and i'm putting in like so much energy into chasing some things that will just never happen. I mean I was chasing it for a point now I just don't know why i'm doing it any more. Yes. Whatever! I don't even know! :p'. Boo!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

:[mood]: under the weather

Dern this is the second time i've been sick this year already! Dern it. I slept at 5 am this morning and I was feeling so out of it last night. I was wearing a scarf the whole time yesterday and now. Yes. Wearing a scarf indoors. Anyway I seriously slept this whole day and just woke up to eat and take medicine. I hate being sick. And I can't get fully better if I don't get a lot of rest and I can't do that with stinking classes and what not. And I got evening classes tomorrow and it's freckin 1 degree outside or something... I am so miserable now in every way! Waaaaa. :\

Next topic. Is there such a thing as having a connection with a person? Hmmm maybe not. There has been this one person on my mind lately and I haven't seen/talked to that person in awhile. But somehow I just feel that person is thinking about me. I mean not that I want that person to think of me (okay I kind of do) but I wonder if that person is thinking of me as much as i'm thinking of them. Hmmm. Prolly not...prolly just all in my mind. Hmmm. I really do hope that person is thinking about me...

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