Sunday, January 19, 2003

:[mood]: freckin full moon

Oh my oh my oh my. Yes, it was a full moon last night and now I do believe that crazy things happen when it is the full moon and all the days surrounding it. Freckin crazy weekend. Oh man. Oh come on. I don't make it sound that bad. Okay so Friday night went to friends apartment for a 21st b-day party. Yup pretty crazy party. hahaha. Understatement there.

Okay so I was freckin tired from the party and I really just wanted to relax Saturday night. You know pig out on some food, watch tv, lie down on the couch, go under my blankie 'cause it was freckin single digits outside. So 2 of my roommates go out to a party and i'm home alone. And then I get a call from my friend saying like him and his friends are gonna come over. And i'm like noooooo but they come anyway. haha. I think they came around midnight or so. They were freckin wasted! 'Cause today was my friend's actual 21st birthday. So they were just so wasted! Okay and then...the night unfolds and so does the drama! Total drama.

I think drunkeness is good 'cause people tell the truth. Okay I don't even know how this all tumbled in but there were quite a few people in our dorm. So my roommates come back, my friends there are drunk, and me and my other friend aren't so we take some shots and I drank some beer. Mad fun. Okay I was still taking shots at 5 am. haha Oh my.

Okay now onto the drama. *shakes head* Last night was crazy. Everything was basically just going around in circles between my girl roommates and our guy friends. hahaha. This person liked that person and then that person has a boyfriend and that person likes someone else and another one likes that one and...well, you get it. Actually I don't even get it! Everything just all came out last night. *continues to shake head*

It was quite fun though. Our place was a freckin mess. Messiest it's ever been. We have one trash bag just full of alcohol bottles and about 4 more other trash bags just full of trash. And this morning my roommates and I had a talk and we just talked about what happened last night and just our thoughts on a lot of things. It was really nice and I loved talking to them. That was a really nice moment between us.

So yes. That was my weekend and...oh deary my what is to come... Oh wait oh my gosh I just remembered something. I was drunk and I made a phone call to somebody back home in Hawaii and I left a message on his phone saying 'i love you.' He's not even my boyfriend and I said that to him and i've never said that to him before. But really I do love him and...yeah... Okay enough talk from me! :p'.

Friday, January 17, 2003

:[mood]: in a thinking mood i would suppose

haha. Maybe I have been rushing things. Well, that's what my mom said. She's all like 'don't rush things. Just like a plant...you need water...and don't strangle it...and talk to it...' hahaha. Okay she was relating relationships to plants or something. haha I don't even know. I believe sometimes my mom and I are just on different levels. So. After having a little whirlwind of a week that i'm sure is not yet over, I think i'm going to have to take a more optimistic look at my life. What does my occupation say? College student. That should be my main focus in life. Of course there are other things like having fun, friends, boyfriends, and what not, but my main focus should be school. For some reason now that i'm saying it out loud, it shouldn't be that difficult to do...right? Okay let's not get too optimistic here Amanda.

Maybe i'm just tired right now. You know it's funny how I think a lot about certain things but when I should be giving time to thinking about like relationships for instance, I don't. I'd rather just very much dive into it. Same with like my goals in life and stuff. I don't think about it. I just do it and yeah. hahaha. So that's what i've been thinking about this morning to afternoon. Well, we'll see how it goes...

Thursday, January 16, 2003

:[mood]: uh yeah

My horoscope for today: (Gemini) You can promise someone else the world, but if you're not willing to go the distance you're likely to prove a disappointment.

Okay. hahaha. That horoscope is *so* not me. That is for every guy in my life that I like. Yes. Enough said on that subject. Thank you and good night!

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

:[mood]: whatever

Yes. I'm writing even though I have nothing really to write about. Oh yeah okay. I haven't been able to sleep these past couple of nights. You'd think I was still jet-lagged or something but i'm not. I just can't sleep. I'd say there is too much on my mind. Oh man. I can't help it. I'm thinking I should go back to my old ways and not be so open. Yes. Whatever I freckin can't sleep! I just lay in bed... And then I sleep 'till like way past noon. I know I can totally sleep the whole day but I have classes and all. I don't exactly know what's wrong with me. I don't even have much of an appetite either. Ack! I hate this. I hate this pattern i'm in now. School, failing, and guys are the most troubling to me right now. Gosh dern it. Booooooooooo.

Sunday, January 12, 2003

:[mood]: eh...

I've forgotten how cold it can get here in Boston. I just went out to get some food and that's it. I'm never leaving my dorm again. haha. Mmmmm struggling with situations and relationships in my life. haha I just realized I was talking to one of my friends back home on aim for like hours. haha No wonder i'm sleepy. haha. No, it's surely among other things. Uhmmmm haha I nevermind. I should just stop talking 'cause I am like really tired right now and it's only freckin 7 pm. Yeah...

Saturday, January 11, 2003

:[mood]: sad

*sigh* Attempted to drink my problems away last night. hahaha Got pretty close to it. Not much I can do with school now since it's the weekend. And as for the guys? Well, my Hawaii guy wants a girlfriend and it's not going to be me. *sigh* That kind of really hurts. Firstly, just how he can want somebody so fast and *sigh* because I still really care for him and I really thought we would have been good together. That just really, really hurts...

And then there's a guy up here who's apparently ignoring me as of now. He seriously doesn't know how he's been hurting *me* and *he's* the one who's ignoring me. Not fair. Not fair at all. He was playing with my emotions and I have very strong emotions. It's not like i'm looking to be hurt geez. I have nothing in terms of guys. Barely even friendships...now...I don't even know...

Friday, January 10, 2003

:[mood]: rrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

Man this year sucks sooooooooooooo much already!!!!!!!! I have lost all motivation to do *anything.* Freck. You know what too bad if people read this. I don't halfly care. Okay top on the list that's pissing me off is school! Freck it. Don't want to talk about it any more. Next on my list, guys. Dear gosh help me. Since I just got a lovely letter from somebody...kind of pissed me off...sorry it did. Oh yeah 'hope the time and distance can break us apart' or something. hahaha That's my interpretation. 'Oh but let's still be friends.' Oh sure. Forget about what we just had. Okay that was kind of mean. I do need some time.

Oh no but Amanda doesn't have time 'cause there's another situation here in Boston. All I can say is it's not fair to everybody especially me who cares but...that doesn't count...or whatever I don't know. I don't know. I don't like things hanging...I don't like waiting...I don't want to be the one who ends up with nothing and at this point it feels like it. Hello I do have nothing! No school, no guys, nothing! hahahahahaha. Freckin freck.

Monday, January 06, 2003

:[mood]: ack

Something tells me this is not going to be a good beginning of the year. I see it now. Oooooh bad on me for saying that. Oh well.

Okay so I just thought this was kind of funny. I had a fortune cookie on New Year's Day and this is what it said: Your principles mean more to you than any money or success. Okay. HA. I hate myself. But anyways. That phrase alone summed up what I was pretty much feeling mostly the end of last year. And this fortune cookie somehow summed it all up for me right before my very eyes. Freaky ain't it? So yeah that basically just sums up me.

Saturday, January 04, 2003

:[mood]: siiiiick

Woooooo! Happy New Year!!!!! Yeah right. I should do a re-cap on last year 'cause it was such a memorable one for me. Anyway. Well, it's only the 4th. Pretty much hung around the house on the 1st. Went to the beach with a whole group of my friends on the 2nd. Went to the north shore. So nice. I love the beach. And the past 2 days i've been deathly sick. My whole family has. Kind of funny to see us walking around the house. We all walk like we're dying, my brother's wearing a dark blue jogging outfit from head to toe, my mom's hair is just a mess, and me I just look like the newly dead. Not fun at all. And I leave Monday and it's going to be a real b*tch if i'm still sick. Yes.

Hoping I can get better by tomorrow afternoon or so 'cause I want to see my friends and hang out with my boy. Yes. Okay. I'm going to hit my death bed now. Peace.

Earlier >>