Saturday, October 19, 2002

:[mood]: uhm...yeah

It's funny how much you don't know about somebody and even how you don't know much about yourself. It's like lately people have been surprised about what i've been doing and how they perceive me. It's not like I travelled on to the dark side or anything. I believe all this stuff was always in me and now it's just coming out in a more noticeable way. Yeah. I just really hate it when people think of me in this one way and it is soooo far than who I really am. It's not like i'm trying to prove myself to anybody. It's just kind of funny how you practically know nothing about a person.

So let's move on to my Friday. Awesome, awesome day! Went to a friend's apartment on Thursday and didn't get back to my dorm 'till 2 am or so. I had an 8 am class on Friday and I did not make it. So my weekend kind of started early. But I was feeling pretty cruddy the whole afternoon. But at around 7 a group of my friends and I saw the Chippendales dancers! Heck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was sooooooooooooooooo awesome! Wasn't what I expected and it was 10 times better. hehehe! Oh my gosh it was crazy! Having a place full of screaming horny girls and guys dancing in thongs on stage. I mean it was just all in good fun. So the show was pretty long and we like left after 2 hours. Yeah there's only so much of a male body we can take! ;) So there would be like a couple dance performances then the guys would go out into the audience and just you know dance with the chicks and get money stuffed down their pants. Throughout the night they went out into the audience like 4 times or so. The very first time they did this, this major hottie was going to the groups of girls and just doing a little dance for them. Some of the girls were like embarassed or something and didn't take full advantage of it. So this major major hottie was coming close to where we were and I just like waved my arm out and was like 'hey!!!!!' and he saw me and just came right over to me and did the dance. Oh my freckin gosh!!!!!! Yah i'm going to marry him!!!!!!! He was sooooooooooooooooooooo freckin hot! So he like did his little male stripper stuff and I felt his buff body and he made me stuff a dollar bill in front of his tight short things. Oh my gosh and I was the only one who did that amongst a group of about 20 girls. Yeah baby!!!!! That was just soooo freckin great and he was a major hottie!!!!!!!!

Going to Chippendales was so fun 'cause it's like well-known and all and i'm glad we had a chance to see it. And hey we got in for free! So after that my friends and I were so pumped we were practically running down the streets of Boston daydreaming and just acting all giddy. And we weren't even drunk! hehehe! Then we headed to a friend's apartment for a party. That party was pretty cool. There were a couple hotties there and this other girl and me wanted to start a dance party in this room so like I just went up to cuties and grabbed them and started dancing with them. Yeah I love dancing. *Especially* with hotties! But they left early. :(

So now that brings me back to how you don't know anything about anyone. There was this guy I met last time there was a party at that place and he was there again. He was kind of wasted and I was kind of but I wasn't too bad. I could still walk straight! He said exactly what I was thinking on how when you're drunk, the truth really comes out. I mean it really does. I don't know I can't explain it right now. I mean one of my other friend's was saying before how he thought I was innocent but he saw that I had kind of a wild streak. And yeah okay nevermind. I hope i'm not going overboard.

Okay and also at that party I was just walking up to random people and asking them to dance. I'm sorry wait random "hotties." Yes. I mean compared to how I was in high school where I would have probably died if I talked to a hottie. But now I just walked up to them, small talked, and danced the night away with them. I liked that. I mean it may seem like small and unimportant and who cares but it does mean something to me and about who I am.

It's just that i'm learning a lot. And it's not in the school education. It's in the street education, yes, and I am so thankful that i'm getting a chance to experience this for now. It really is just all good yo! :D

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

:[mood]: hmmm

Haven't put my thought-thoughts here lately have I? Nope. I want to put this quote up from my friend's page. Here 'tis:

"The bird will fly, and the fish will swim, regardless of how we try to change their circumstance. Why then, should we change ourselves, solely to make those who criticize us happy?" -Moliere

I like that quote. Uhm I know last year I wasn't happy at all. I was on the Dean's list and everything and that is what I believed meant the most to my parents and with the way they talked to me it really did mean a lot to them. I mean they wanted me to study my butt off and do nothing but school. School, school, school. But I was soooo unhappy last year. Very, very unhappy and I didn't like it at all. I hardly went out, hardly any friends, and all I basically did was study my butt off. I got the good grades but I didn't care at all. This time around i'm doing okay in school, i've done some stuff in Boston that i'd never imagined I would do given my mode last year and at this point i'm quite happy. My mom says there should be a balance to my life and yeah I think there is. I don't see what's going to happen in the long-run. Am I supposed to? Like my grades for instance. I am in no way close to what I was getting last year. But I still find myself happy and freckin more relaxed. But should I be burying my head in my books and just be unhappy? I don't believe in a balance. For me I have to give my all to one thing at a time. If it's friends I give my all. If it's school I give my all. If it's love I give it my all. Okay which brings me to another point.

No explanation needed on the other part. Okay that sentence didn't make sense. Well, only to me it did. I don't think I want to ever be in love. 'Cause if I liked someone so much and it didn't end up working and i've been pretty down every time I think of it, how in the world would I be able to handle being in love? And everyone keeps telling me to forget about it 'cause stuff like this is normal but it's not for me. What's true for an individual is not necessary true for a whole group. That's called fallacy of composition. haha Learning something in economics. Time will heal my freckin pain. I am in no way in love with him. I am just really thankful for what he has done for me. He doesn't know how much he has done for me in that one moment. It really meant a lot to me and I should learn that's all that matters.

Monday, October 14, 2002

:[mood]: hyper

I was so freckin tired from last night and today I woke up at like 6 am 'cause I went out with my cousins again. This time we went to Williamstown and the Berkshires which is about 3 hours away from Boston. Today was pretty cold. There was 5 of us squished in a car with our warm jackets. We stopped by this place that had huge pumpkins and this pumpkin mountain. Kids were climbing all over that mountain. That was nice. Saw some more of the beautiful foliage driving down. We stopped by the side of the road and walked down this slippery mountain to a river below. We were there only a few minutes when one of my friends was like hopping on the rocks to the middle of the river and told me to come and join him. I'm like okay. So stinking Amanda hops from one rock to the other. I had this backpack on my back so when I jumped to this one rock, I barely stepped on it when my backpack pulled me back and I fell into the freezing cold river! I couldn't believe it. I just sat there for like 2 minutes with the water running into my shoes and just laughing. When I got up, my shoes were filled with water and from my butt down was soaking wet!

We stopped at Williams University to buy some pants for me. Being a traitor to Northeastern I bought some jogging pants that had Williams on the butt. hehe. Then we went to a little restaurant. This town we were in was so rural. It was practically just the university and the main thing of that town. So as we entered the door I saw something I had been searching for forever! Well, not exactly forever but for a really long time. It was in a glass case and i'm like 'I *have* to get that before we leave.' So I talk to the waitress girl and she told me that the display was from the store that sells it next door but they are closed for the day. I'm like oh my gosh you don't know how much that would mean to me if I had it. I don't think I said that but she was like 'oh I can call the owner.' And she did! She was so nice. So within a few minutes the guy came down and he opened the case and I was able to buy it! That was so nice of both of them and it meant so much to me. I hope it means a lot to the person I give it to 'cause it really is a kick butt present! hehe He'll get it at Christmas...hopefully.

So we leave there and head for the mountains to catch the beautiful view. Just going up the mountain took like 30 minutes. We drove up about 4,000 feet on this narrow road. Oh my gosh the view on top of the mountain was beautiful! It just overlooked the trees and everything. But the weather was 33 degrees! Practically 20 degrees colder than down the bottom of the mountain. But it was so worth it. Simply breathtaking. I took 5 rolls of film this whole Columbus Day weekend. I had so much fun this weekend it was totally the best weekend i've had in the longest time. :)

Sunday, October 13, 2002

:[mood]: happy

My cousin's sister was visiting Boston. So in the morning we left and went to Ipswich and Rockport about 1 1/2 hours away from Boston. The weather was rainy and cloudy the whole day. But it was still so nice. We drove along the highway and there was trees on either side. Sooooo beautiful! They were red, yellow, gold, and green and it was just so beautiful. Exactly what I wanted to see when I was in Boston. We stopped by this little farm type place where they have apple orchards where you can go apple picking. Unfortunately apple picking season was done last week or so but that didn't stop us. We picked some of that forbidden fruit and stuffed it in our jackets. hehe. I even had some rasberries and blackberries from right off the tree.

There was also this little barn and I saw 2 sheep (first time!), a beautiful black horse, some goats, and these huge butt pigs! They were sooo huge! Bigger than Wilbur. So we bought some apples, apple cider, and drove some more. We came upon this pumpkin orchard and pulled over alongside the road. And walked through some brown stuff that wasn't mud! Pretty gross. I even picked a pumpkin! I brought it back to my dorm. Then we went to Rockport. This place was so quaint. It was like a real fishing village. It was nice because it was cold and foggy and it seemed like I was in a different world. Got home at around 9 pm or so and just crashed.

Saturday, October 12, 2002

:[mood]: hehe

All I can say is there is nothing like Boston parties! Friday afternoon kind of breezed by and me and 2 of my roomies and I were just sitting around our kitchen table eating and talking. Well, before that we were sitting on the couch deciding what to do. At that point we just wanted to stay home and relax and maybe drink some alcohol. ;} Our other roommate wanted to go to our team's hockey game but we were like indecisive. So yeah we ordered food and then did the whole table sitting scene. Another group of our guy friends were also going to the hockey game so again we were like 'should we go?' but we ended up not going 'cause we were winning anyway and the game ended early. So we went up to the 8th floor and talked to some guy we kind of met earlier about giving us some alcohol. He gladly gave us vodka in exchange for some safety pins. So we mixed some drinks and drank that. It was...i'd say like freckin 7:00 and we were already drinking!

Our friends came back to our apartment after the hockey game. A little party started there. Oh man. I'm surprised we didn't get busted 'cause we were being so loud and alcohol was spread out everywhere. And the RA lives right across from us and luckily he wasn't there. Amanda should definitely not drink on an empty stomach which I always stinking do. I didn't even drink *that* much but I already felt it. So we hung out in our room for a bit. My roomie and I went upstairs to ask that guy for more vodka. They were having a little party of themselves, too. So bad. Everybody in that dorm was practically drinking. We stayed there for a bit then left empty handed back to our apartment.

We were all pretty much wasted and it was only 10:00 or so! We couldn't believe that. So we headed off to another party. It was raining outside and cold. Not a good combination with being drunk. So we walked about 20 minutes or so to an apartment. That party was pretty junk and crowded! So our group just basically took some beers and we had too many jello shots. Left that party in a matter of minutes then took the subway to our guy friends apartment and just ended up chilling there. I didn't drink any more 'cause we started so stinking early! haha I couldn't believe that.

By the time we got back it was around 1:00 am 'cause my roomie was feeling sick and she threw up earlier. See the totally good thing about Boston is like the parties. All the parties are walking distance or at least subway distance so everyone can drink as much as they want! Okay I don't sound as bad as I seem in those journal entry. It was all in good fun and yeah. I really needed this. It's nice to have some fun for a change.

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