Sunday, September 29, 2002

:[mood]: argh

Went to a concert last night. It was at Northeastern. G-love and Special Sauce was the opening act for Ratdog which are the remaining members of the Grateful Dead. So we went at around 7:30. I never heard of G-love before but he was pretty good. So after G-love finishes and the stage is being set up for Ratdog, our little group was just standing around and talking. I look in front of me at this other group of people and I see this guy I know. Okay the guy I was head over heels for last year. Ryan! So I kind of look at him hoping he'd see me. So I was facing front and he was facing sideways. He like looks around the arena and then he looks into my eyes. Oh my gosh. Then we pretty much smiled and waved at each other at the same time. Oh my gosh!!!!!!! :D He is so cute. He cut his hair. He is still so cute! My friends and I left after G-love played. Too bad. I wanted to see Ratdog for a bit.

We exit the arena and are on our way back to the dorm. We pass by the parking lot and by the tour bus is G-love. There were a few kids gathered around so we went over. One of my friends had a camera and we took a picture with G-love. It was pretty cool. I stood to the left of him and he had his arm around me. hehehe. Then we all busted out our ticket stubs for him to sign. I told him he was very good and he said thanks and signed my stub. Wasn't that cool? That was pretty cool.

So we head to our dorm and the guys we were with went to a party and us girls waited around for some other guys to tell us about a party they were going to. So they come and we go with them. But first we met some people in another dorm and waited for some other people who turned out to live like 2 doors down from us. So here a bunch of us are walking in the cold weather to a subway stop which was like 15 minutes or so away. We were heading towards Boston University where the party was. BU was like 15 or so minutes away.

We get there to this house-like place. There were like 12 of us already entering this small crowded place. The party was kind of junk and it was actually full of people from another school, Berklee. Hey for a cup was only $2. hehehe. So yeah. Stayed there for a bit. hehehe. Man I didn't even drink that much but I was already feeling tipsy. Like I kept swaying and I couldn't stand still. Then the cops came. I don't know why they came 'cause we were not loud at all. They told everybody who was under 21 to leave so we all hightail it out of there. So now we're walking the crazy streets in like the freezing cold (well, it was cold that night seeing how my friends and me were dressed) and I was kind of drunk. Freck. Cold and drunk is not a good combination. And this area we were in was quite shady. Even though there was a lot of us this weird drunk guy came up to this other guy in our group and was like harassing him and saying all these rude remarks. He was saying how he was gay and he wanted to do something to one of the guys we were with. What a retarded guy. And then this other guy in our group I was walking alongside wanted to fight the drunk guy. I'm like no fighting so I grab his arm and just like basically hold him. Oh man I was kind of drunk. And he was pretty cute. hehehe.

Went back to Northeastern and got some food at a pizza place and ate it back in our dorm but in somebody else's apartment. Yeah and just basically hung out there. Went back down to our dorm room and saw our neighbors who we were with earlier that night. Their guy friend was hungry or something so I gave him a calzone that I got from another friend. Yes. Called my family. They were having a party at the house. How rude. Talked to them for a bit. I was in the stairwell talking to my brother when this guy walking up the stairs (or more like sprinting) says hey to me. And he was pretty cute. hehehe. My brother starts like teasing him and all 'cause he heard him over the phone. Yeah. Got to sleep at around 4. And that was my lovely Saturday.

Saturday, September 28, 2002

:[mood]: stomachache

Wow. Today's only Friday...or like the tail end of it. Geez this was a really long day. Really long. Let's see. Uh I had an 8 a.m. class but i didn't make it to that. I woke up at 7, turned off my alarm and the next thing I know, I wake up at 8:03. So i'm like freck and I lie down a bit then get up for my class at 9:15. It was a pretty cold and rainy day today. lalala. Just hung out at my dorm for awhile. I was a lazy potato sitting in front of the tv most of this afternoon. Went out to dinner with my roomies. Got some disgusting caesar salad that was warm and i'm sure that had some play in my stomachache now. lalala. Went out to pick up a few stuff in some stores. Okay now my highlight for today.

As my roomies and I were walking into the dorm building, our eyes fixed upon this guy who was standing by the intercom thingie in the building. We were checking in at the front desk thingie (you have to do that every time you enter the building) and the guy looked at me but I kind of didn't think anything of it. He continued to talk on the intercom thing then he looked back at me again. He looked at me as if he knew me so I stared at him and then it came to me. It was this cutie from last year who was in a couple of my classes. I said hey to him and talked a bit. He goes to another school now. I basically just said 'Hey. How are you doing? I thought you left.' Thought he left because somebody said he went to Arizona. Anyway he said something like he changed schools and he doesn't go to Northeastern. Duh I already knew that. But where does he go to school now dern it. Oh my gosh he is such a cutie. I barely recognized him. I only recognized him 'cause he looked at me as if he knew me. Yeah...heehee. I made one of my friends jealous. haha. ;)

Okay wow he is so cute and I can't believe he remembered me. Anyway I have a stomachache now. That's what I get for eating disgusting healthy salad with gross chicken and then drinking on an empty stomach. *groan!*

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

:[mood]: eep

I'm kind of tired but I feel like writing right now. Yeah. Eating chocolate chip cookies at night isn't too good. Yes. Oh yeah. No wonder i'm tired. I had 4 classes today starting at 8. I hate my classes. Well, school is school. I don't like school. Got done around 4 then hung out with a friend for awhile and her stinking boyfriend. hehe. Got back and a roommate and her friend were making some food. Just basically hung out at my dorm with roommates and friends. Pretty interesting. You don't want to know what we were doing...or watching. hehe. Dern there goes my innocence. Anyways. lalala Went to a friend's place a couple of minutes away to watch the Real World. Yeah.

Oh wait let me put up this poem thing I wrote in one of my classes today. Okay here it goes:

Sitting in class
is racking up my brain
everything he's saying
sounds the same.
Trying to stay awake
almost falling asleep
the guy right behind me
is hitting my seat.
Science is so boring
the teacher is old
this classroom is bothering me
'cause the ac is so cold.

hahaha. Good yeah? Freck that class was so pointless. Can you believe that people actually got up and left in the middle of class? The teacher didn't even care even when they would walk like right in front of him to get out of the door. Man I hope I get an A in that class.

Oh yeah okay. So you know that guy I met yesterday? Well, I gave him my number and he actually called. Who'd thunk that a guy would actually call when you gave him your number? Okay so here's how it goes. After yesterday's conversation when we were about to say good-bye, he asked me if I wanted to like never talk to him again (well, he didn't say it in that way) or give him my number. He said it would be cool either way and that's how I felt, too. But I don't know I thought it would make more sense to give him my number 'cause I thought I might regret it later or something. 'Cause I don't have his number. So he called today and for some reason I got like squirmy. Squirmy? Well, yeah. I didn't really want to talk to him or see him again. I kind of wanted to leave yesterday's conversation untouched because it was kind of this special moment. Hmmm. I don't want to be mean and like never talk to him again...or do I? Oh well we'll see.

Monday, September 23, 2002

:[mood]: urgh

I think I have a headache I don't know. I say I don't know a lot lately. Well, I do have a headache. I know I had 2 pieces of bread in the morning then I got back at like 5 and I didn't know I was starving by then. Tried to feed my hunger but it was too late. No wonder i've been feeling a little dizzy. Dumb me. I had a pretty interesting day. Very not-Amanda like. Uhm I won't say too much because it was just really, really random. I was like in the downtown area shopping (yes, shopping) when I was getting on the subway. Some guy sat in front of me and another lady next to me. Okay i'm going to leave some parts out 'cause i'm pretty dumb. :p'. So the guy in front asked the lady next to me for some directions. Then they started talking a bit. Well, mostly the guy. He just kept talking and talking. Mostly about life I guess I don't remember quite well from the hunger. Anyway (okay leaving some parts out) we got off the subway (the guy and me) and I don't know we (stop saying I don't know!) we...dern lost train of thought. Oh yeah we got on the escalator. I was in front of him and I just turned around and said that he should be a motivational speaker. haha Kind of dumb. But yeah then he said like how he took this test in school and it said that he should be a motivational speaker.

So got off the escalator and we talked a bit more. Then he just asked me if I wanted to just talk and I said okay and we just walked somewhere to talk. It was cool. Very random again. So we just walked to the mall, basically in the middle of the city, dumped our bags on the steps and started talking. Oh man I can't believe I did that. We talked for a *long* time i'm not going to even say how long we talked. Actually he mostly just talked. He just talked about life. Very interesting. Yeah he's very optimistic while i'm totally not. He's 21 and he's not a bum. This guy had a kind of interesting life. I mean he just like lives off 2 bags and just came to Boston. He doesn't really know what he's going to do. Well, work I guess. I guess he's one of those guys who will just go wherever the wind will take him kind. I don't know. Very, very, very random. Yeah well that's my interesting day. Weird but interesting. Okay i'm frecking tired. I have 4 classes tomorrow starting at 8 a.m. I freckin' hate school. I just want to sleep and relax. Oh wait I did that today. Oops.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

:[mood]: not hungover

Went to a college party last night. All I can say is very, very interesting. It was at my roommate's friend's apartment about 5 minutes away from Northeastern. We got there around 9 before all the people came. Wasn't that big of a party which was good. About 30 or so people. It was actually very, very fun and I was surprised by a lot of things. But yeah. I didn't drink *that* much. ;) Just some beer, Captain Morgan's, and some jello shots. Oh no Amanda. Y'all can scold me later. Surprisingly I didn't get that drunk. I got drunk for a little while then I was fine after that. Oh my gosh there was this one guy who everyone kept calling the "Abercrombie" guy. He was hela cute and like every single girl in that party talked to him. But he knew he was hot and he wasn't that perfect anyway. Yeah only because he didn't dance with me. hehe. I don't know just talking to people was interesting because it was like nothing I expected. The people were really nice and really cool. Got back at around 4 a.m. I had a lot of fun. Even though i'm not drunk right now, I want to move on to a serious side of today's journal entry.

In my mind I told myself I needed to hear something for me to move on. I mean I said I needed to hear it but I didn't expect it to come so soon. I wanted my friend to tell me if he got a girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him this but he told me anyway. And what even surprised me more was that not only was it just a girlfriend, it was his ex-girlfriend. That surprised me a little but somehow now I can treat him as a friend. But what's really getting to me is that he told me stuff (not very good stuff) about his ex and how badly she treated him. I don't believe that even though 2 people have gone through for instance, hell and back, that they should still stay together. Obviously there should be more good than bad. If people think that just because they went through everything together, they should still be together, that's just wrong and it is going to be a big strain every time they are together. You shouldn't think that you have to go through the bad times just to see the good. That is just so wrong. It should always be good with a few minor down turns.

But I know there is nothing I can do right now for my friend. Oh gosh this sucks. When you can do nothing when it comes to other people's relationships. Not saying that I want to meddle in or anything. I just hate to see people get hurt in relationships. Especially when they're people you really, really care about. Right now it's my brother and then my friend. What's hard is that these relationships are both serious. Oh okay. But these things can last a lifetime? Oh my gosh okay there's nothing I can do or should do but just watch and hopefully these guys in my life will know that I will always be there for them...

Friday, September 20, 2002

:[mood]: oh my

I had a pretty awkward morning early this morning. I am retarded and I woke up at 4 a.m. to call somebody back home in Hawaii. Yeah and I don't why it is so hard to talk about this. It's confusing the heck out of me. I honestly don't know what to say or do or not do and it's driving me crazy! Ack! Only because I never dealt with something like this in my life. Oh yeah and of course it comes at a time when other stuff are happening in my life. Although in the summer it was just one thing and I still had difficulty. Ack who cares for now.

And since I was already up and talked to my friend, I decided to stay up 'cause I really couldn't sleep. See and that's how you know something's up. When you can't sleep after talking to somebody. I don't know you just know that there's something different or special. Weird weird weird. So I went into the living room area. I had a class at 8 a.m. so I just watched t.v. This was just a total random call day I swear. At 6 a.m. my cell phone rang and it was just some random guy. I mean his name was Ryan (coincidence? i think not. oh yeah and not the Ryan from yesterday) and he was just like random babbling to me. He was a friend of my friend up in Washington I believe he said. I didn't even talk to my friend. I just talked to some guy I never talked to before on the phone. Weird? On any other night this would seem totally weird but since I was already up, it wasn't too weird. And plus I like like it when people call at any time of the day. I'm one of those people who doesn't mind if you call like at 5 a.m. just to talk. I like that. I don't know some people don't. hehe Probably because they like to sleep? hehe. Well, I think i'm going to a party later tonight. More lata.

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