October 03, 2001 I'm in a really bad mood!

I wasn't planning on updating this page today, but I got an entry in my guestbook asking if I lived on an island with my family and friends just because we DON'T have an one hour photo place! Gesh don't dis my fn' town! If you can't believe that I live in a place that doesn't have a one hour photo shop than you haven't been that far have ya!? NO I don't think so. This place as a pop of 1500 people...wow! The only shoping centre we have to buy clothes and shit is Riffs...and for food there's a Co-op and a Food Town...that's it! We have two corner stores. One High School that only has about 150 kids in it. The only thing keeping this place going is a Fish Plant and that is not even running at the moment. If you would like you can search the word "Canso" and see what you find...there isn't much. It's an old fishing port, the oldest in Canada I might add. So don't go sayin' shit if you don't know where I live! There's only big event here and it's during the summer and that's Stan Fest. Wow! And people are lucky around here if they can make ends meet. I might sound alittle rude but I just have to defend where I'm coming from. I already said that I was from a real small town...I didn't say an island, but there isn't much of a difference. You probably live in a city or whatever...but don't be sayin' shit when you don't do your research first! This entry sucks but hey some people jsut piss me off. Sorry baby I won't be putting this stuff on site when your born 'cause unlike some mothers I won't have the time to bother with a website I'd rather be paying attention to you. *^*Hugz*^*

October 04, 2001 I'm not even supposed to be on the internet right now but that last entry I put on here was really bothering me all day. And I realized that I came off too strong. And I'm really sorry to the person who I was referring to. I made myself sound like a b*tch and I'm not. I'm the opposite I used to let people run over me and not say a thing. And yesterday wasn't my day and I just blew up like a bomb. Ahh...but anyways if ya do EVER decided to come back on the website email me or something so I can explain. I'm really sorry. =( *^*Hugs*^*

October 05, 2001 I'm almost in tears...ahh...my pictures are awful! I went to see if they were in and they were and I was so depressed after I opened them I could have bawled. I'm trying my best to fix them up so you can atleast see. I dunno if it was the film or if it was just the fn' expensive camera. Stupid Sears...I don't buy anything from there but of course that's were Jamie had to buy the camera because there's no place around here that sells camera...pretty sad. Anyway...this main page is going to be a mess for awhile 'cause I don't have the time right now to put the old entries in the journal so they will have to stay awhile longer while I clean the pics up. But so far I got one that looks ok...I'm putting that one up so it's in the belly pics. It's not one with my face...but that one was easy to fix the other ones might take awhile...but it's getting there. *^*Hugs*^*

October 08, 2001 I'm soooo tired! This weekend I didn't slow down at all. It was Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and I don't wanna see turkey again. lol Jamie's brother was home from college so we went to visit him on Friday. We were in there for awhile and his mother was showing me pictures of him and Bill when they were kids. I didn't want to ask for any but I'll get Jamie to get some of his family. I do have a pic of his mother here from the shower but the pictures are so light or something...you'll see. I'll have to scan it when I get the scanner hooked back on. I'm rearranging the computer desk. I bought a printer and now I have to find room for the scanner now that I have the printer on the desk. Ahh and I dont' feel like doing anything because I still have this damn cold...well it's not as bad but I still have the cough and that is annoying. Anyways I have to go to the doctor too this Wednesday, I'm hoping that Jamie can get the day off of work. I would like him to be there for at least these ones where it's getting closer and he knows I get nervous everytime I have to go to the doctor. Even though my doctor is great I'm always scared or I should I say alittle shaken up. I think the baby sometimes senses when I'm nervous because it will kick and do whatever..anything to make me more uncomfortable. Talking about being uncomfortable I was getting up from reading "Healthy Pregnancy...Healthy Baby" and I placed my hand just below my ribs and I felt the baby's foot...and I mean a foot! I lifted up my shirt so Jamie could see and it was just sticking out there. Jamie kept on asking if it hurt. It doesn't actually hurt it just feels really weird. It's almost unexplainable. lol Well it is for me anyway. But this could be the last time I experience being pregnant, so I cherrish every little kick, expect when I'm trying to sleep. =) Since I'm talking about the baby I should say that me and my mother orangized everything in a little place in her sewing room. (She runs her on sewing business out of the house) She had some room in there and an excellent little drawer thingy that has a great place on top for changing the baby because the top of it is cornered off. I'll have to take a pic of it to help explain. God I suck at explaining things no wonder I wasn't any good at public speaking. lol Well I have to get to bed before I get over tired. *^*Hugs*^*

October 12, 2001I dunno even why I'm updating...I have nothing to talk about but I'm bored and I found myself here so. Well I had my doctors appointment Wednesday. Everything went ok. I was almost late for it well I was actually late. My mother is so damn slow when it comes to driving. But anyway my blood pressure is up and the nurse said that they'll have to keep a close eye on that. Ugh...that sucks 'cause everything was going fine until now. The heart beat was 156 bpm and I'm 34cm. I have to go back the 24th then after that I have to go every week. Sounds like great fun! I'm trying to save money, because Jamie will soon be done work, and all this going out of town isn't helping any at all! I dunno what we are going to do this winter...I have money saved and stuff but it's just not enough. But I shouldn't be worrying I'll make my blood pressure worse. I'm getting really lazy lately I don't even bother cleaning my room I just throw everything everywhere. I have so much junk and not enough room to put everything and I don't want to throw anything out. I save everything and that's the problem with me. Tomorrow I'll take some pics of the baby's crib now that I got everything fixed up for it. I'm so excited about having this baby...it doesn't seem real. I'm nervous and all about bringing the baby home and knowing that it's depending on me and Jamie to keep it from harm. It's scary when you think about having to protect another human being when half the time I can't protect myself. lol But I'm sure I'll do fine my mother instincts will kick in once the baby is born. Not that long to go now! lol Well I'm gonna take my lazy butt to bed and wait for the Mole to come on. *^*Hugz*^*

October 16, 2001Updated: Belly Pics Hey everyone! I haven't been paying much attention to the website lately...sorry! =) I've been pretty busy lately...which is different. Anyway, I'm surprised to see myself on the net! Jamie had to formated the computer because it wouldn't go to Windows. This damn Windows Me and worth crap...I like it better than Win98 but the only Windows I haven't had problems with was Win95. Anyways, I was bored Sunday night so I decided that I would go to a Prize Bingo, it was for a good cause so I didn't mind spending a few dollars. Plus I won...I actually got to holla Bingo. lol But I didn't get the damn thing 'cause some ol' Bingo bag got it, but the prize was really no good to me anyway so I was happy with the boobie prize which was a dollar. =) (Don't take much to please me) They always sell tickets at the door for a ticket draw and I didn't bother to buy any because it was for a kitchen set sorta like. It had a paper towel holder, spice rack, ahh...letter holder, salt n' pepper shakers, ahh...gesh napkin holder and some wooden spoons n' shit. Anyway my mother noticed I didn't buy any...so she gave me some of hers. I guess it was my lucky day because I won it! =) Not that it's any good to me right now it would've been if I was still livin' on my own, but I hope I'll be soon outta here again...I hope! It's hard finding a place down here though...it's a small town and there's no place to rent. I told Jamie this time I'm not just gonna say I like the place to get outta here...if I don't like it I'm not moving. What is the sense of living in a place you hate. I hate living here sometimes that's the truth but I have no other choice at the moment. I'm kinda scared about the whole winter thing...having a small infant to take care of and if there's a snow storm and I need something it's gonna be hard to get because Jamie sold his car and would need one to get around. I can't depend on my mother to lend us the car all the time. When your a kid you wanna grow up and you have it all planned out that you'll find this great guy get married and have live happily ever after. It can happen...but most likely won't...well it didn't work out for me anyway. Well I better get going and lay down 'cause the baby has it's foot in my rib and it's really uncomfortable. *^*Hugs*^*

October 22, 2001 Well I'm just updating to show that I'm still here and still very much pregnant. lol I'm 36 weeks tomorrow...it's getting closer! I'm getting nervous. People tell me all different stories about giving birth. Some tell me it's nothing and some tell me it hurts like hell. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Since this will be the last time I'm going to experience this, well I hope so. I already told Jamie many times that he'll never see me pregnant again. I don't like it at all. Some people do but it's been different for me. I'm extremly uncomfortable. I've been this way since I started to show. My face just turned out worse than it ever was. I had pimples before but nothing like this. Finally it's starting to go away. YES! Well I thought it was time for a change so I called my aunt, that cuts hair, to give me an appointment for tomorrow. I want to go shorter. Why? I have no idea. I'll be complaining in a few days saying that I wish I didn't cut my hair 'cause now I can finally get it into a pony tail. Gesh, I almost forgot Jenny had her baby!

She sent me pics and he's so cute. Well I have to get going...I'm getting tired and I think Jamie wants the computer now anyways. So, hugz!

October 27, 2001 Hey guys! Sorry I've been slackin'...I'm so tired lately that I just don't even bother to even look at the computer. I went with my mother for a walk today and my legs are so sore. My legs just can't handle the weight anymore. I'll be sorry later on tonight I'll wake up and have leg cramps from doing too much walking. I'm going to have a hard time trying to get myself back into shape. I was all out of breath, and we just had started. It's foolish! I have to cut back on the chocolate...that's what I crave the most! If I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom before I go back to bed I have to get something chocolate in my belly...I just got to have it. lol I have a ton of chocolate bars by my bed too and that doesn't help any. I had weird cravings too...I was laying in bed one night and had a crave for plastic...or an eraser...I really couldn't figure what it was, but I know the craving was bad. The health nurse told me that I might get some weird cravings but...lol Speaking of the health nurse she called me last Wednesday, she is starting up prenatal classes. But where it's a small town there's only two other people. What a group. lol But I told her to call me back with a time and me and Jamie will be there. I also tried to pre-regsister at the birth center...but they never called me back...all I got was a answering machine, so I left my name and number. OoO right, I had my doctors appointment last Wednesday! Everything is great! My blood pressure was 130/70 better than last time...last time it was 140/70...I didn't know that I thought it was fine but it wasn't, but at least the bottom number didn't change...and that's the one to worry about. =) My urine had a trace of protien but the nurse didn't seem too worried about that...I don't even know why they check it for...I should ask next time. I gained 5 more pounds! lol I'm soon going to be mooin' lol I now weigh 174 pounds. I'm 39cm...and the baby's heart beat was 156 bpm. The doc said that we have a pretty good size baby, which I hope he's right...I want it to have a healthy weight when it's born...I'm so scared of that. I have to go back up again on Halloween! lol It's a hour and about 20 minutes to get to the doc's office so it's a long drive. And now I have to drive up there every week...but it's all gonna be worth it. Well I'm tired and Jamie is already sleepin' so I'm gonna go crawl into bed with him...hopefully without waking him up. lol Well night night! *^*Hugs*^*