Introlude...
It's been said that life is like a book. The book begins the moment we are born. We add new chapters to it as our lives progress. Once we die the book finally ends. So in that sense, I guess everyone has a story to tell. All we can hope for is that our story is worth telling.
My story doesn't start like most stories. It doesn�t start with when and where I was born or to whom. Instead, it starts later, in the Spring of 2002. Who I was before that isn't really as interesting or important as who I am today. I'm not here to tell you a story about how tragic or perfect my childhood was. Everyone�s life has its ups and downs. Lets just say I'm content with my past and proud of who I have become. What�s written is written and can't be changed. A good friend of mine once told me, "People who dwell in the past, miss out on the present."
Change...
My entire life, I've always considered my older brother Oscar my greatest friend. He was always a popular kid when we were growing up and always tended to get more attention then me but he always treated me like I was just as cool and interesting as his other friends, which deep down I always knew I wasn't. He'd always been getting himself into some sort of trouble and that Spring he had finally hit rock bottom. His turbulent life had finally caught up with him and he found himself at a crossroad. Now before I get accused of talking only in metaphors, if you must know what I am talking about I will tell you. A girl that my brother had been acquainted with became pregnant with his child. The problem being, my brother had no love for this girl and was not ready to be a father. He was only 21 at the time. Like any brother and good friend, I was there to help him through it. Thankfully, I was not the only one. Prior to his �fall from grace�, my brother had been talking to a girl named Deborah. Deborah wasn't like the usual girls my brother had hung out with. Deborah was different and real. She wasn't the popular kid growing up and she treated everyone with sincerity . She didn't look down on my brother for his faults or wild past but instead helped raise him out of the hole he had dug for himself and dusted him off. Eventually we became to be good friends and the three of us were like the three amigos. She became the sister I never had. I saw how their two different personalities changed each other into better people, which in turn helped inspire me to change. In a sense, Oscar and Deborah helped pull me out of a hole I had dug for myself without ever knowing it. It wasn�t until I was finally out of it had I realized I had been in one. The walls of the hole became all I knew and I didn�t even dream of what lied outside of it.
Growth...
Now that I have ventured from my hole and explored the real world, I've also learned that holes provide shelter. In many ways I feel such a sense of safety was why I was so reluctant to leave mine. The world can be a harsh and bitter place full of people and things that are looking for the opportunity to hurt you when given the chance. After living in it you soon harden yourself to the reality of it all and build a shell to keep yourself safe. You soon realize that you are now having to change and grow due to your environment. The people I interacted with and met all influenced the way I grew. Sometimes in a positive way, and others in a negative one.
Conclusion...
Who am I? I don't really know. If anything, what I have learned is to not classify, categorize, or coin others or myself as any one thing because no one is one thing. People can change and be what ever they want as long as they have the drive to do so. I have changed and now choose to live life by the moment as they say. I never dwell in the past but often times engulf myself in the future. Maybe life is less like a book and more like a rollercoaster. I've learned to open my eyes, look head on, and go with the flow instead of grasping for the comfort of solid ground left far behind me.
