If you had Ms. Pfeifer for science you know she has issues. The stories of her life are sad and weird. Here I will expose the stories she doesn't tell anyone. How did I get these stories you ask? Well, I stole her diaries. So get ready to wig out because here is Ms. Pfeifer's unknown life. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. EVERYTHING ON THIS PAGE IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY!!!!

June 11, 1982
Today I woke up in Mexico. I don't know how I got here but I have a major headache. Everyone here looks like Cheech. I don't have any money or ID but for some reason I have my diary. I hope I can get a ride home.

June 12, 1982
I have yet to find a ride home. I am making the most out of this trip and I learned Mexico looks like a big Gringo Jones store.

June 13, 1982
I found a ride home with some other people who what to go to America. To sneak back over all of us have to hide in big wicker baskets. We leave in three days.

June 16, 1982
Today is the day I go home. I have made some friends that showed me how to have good time. A REALLY good time. That's why I haven't been writing. Any way, I wont be writing during my ride back home because I'll be in a basket.

June 19, 1982
Sorry for not writing for so long but we got caught and we had to go to jail. The immigration people were able to find out that I way an American and they let me stay. What a fun week.

December 23, 1985
Two days before Christmas I get hemorrhoids. There as big as my fist and they hurt like hell too! I bought some Preparation H and I used the whole tube on one roid. My ass hasn't been as greasy sense I went to Mexico! Those Mexicans like some weird things.

July 3, 1991
Last night I went to the Guns N' Roses concert. Every thing was awesome except that Axl punched me for taking pictures of the band which caused a riot. Everything else was fun. I wonder if there coming back.